We recently lost my wife and mother of 3. Grandmother of 4. Maybe this isn’t the platform, but it definitely is an aging care event.
We were told how much the obituary would cost. Not covered by the insurance policy that we bought for “peace of mind”.
almost 4 figures. Didn’t even include a picture.
I should feel guilty, but refused to have it done. It’s not like she was into liberal politics.
The newspaper has lost most of its readers as circulation has a new bottom every month. She would have been appalled by the $$’s.
Social Media did a better job and didn’t cost a penny more than its monthly cost to subscribers. It’s time to bury what doesn’t produce, or am I going to regret it?
GOOD FOR YOU.
It's pouring a flammable substance on grieving husband/family for a commercial business to screw you - us.
* You can write your own obituary and post it on Facebook or wherever you have access to a broaden group via social media.
* If you / she belonged to local communities or a church, write something and provide to them. You don't need everyone and their uncle reading about your wife - who didn't know her. The people that matter are the people that know / knew her.
* By opening the can of worms here 'asking' others if you'll regret it, be prepared for mucho self-projecting responses. (Oh . . . I read several and stand corrected. Most reflect similar responses to mine. Not that 'mine' is right. It is a matter of being gouged when it isn't right / the compassionate procedure in our capitalist world
. . . and here I go again)
I COMMEND YOU FOR STANDING UP FOR FINANCIAL DIGNITY for grieving families everywhere.
By the way, what is the name of the newspaper. Some of us could send a Letter to the Editor. . . Gena / Touch Matters
Your comment/complaint about obituary pricing certainly belongs on this Aging Care website. But I'd sure like to know what politics has to do with your posting, liberal or otherwise. What the heck is that about ???
People receive their news online and the funeral home will publish an obituary online that will be far more comprehensive than you would be willing to pay to have published in a printed newspaper. You can spread the link via social media and email and reach virtually everyone who wants to see it.
If there's a very local newspaper that is still widely read and your wife was active in the community, have it published there. They are usually reasonably priced, sometimes free.
I plan not to publish anything about my mom's passing when it will happen. She is in her mid 90 and most of her friends and colleagues have already had their obituaries published...
Those who care about her, keep in touch with her , or me, will be easily informed phone, email. For those who have disappeared from her life, my opinion is that if they are not interested in how she is doing when she is still alive must not care much about that last event in her life.
As for support for those who are left, same logic, my close friends and family members will be easily reached by the same means we stay in touch already. No need for papers nor social media.
I admit it is a hard tradition to leg go of. It was used for a long time as an hommage to the person. That can be done in the eulogy with the close circle who cares. I recently lost someone overseas, and the family and close friends had a private link to access life the garden and the funeral home ceremony.
Just be careful about sharing too much detail about the service, when you won’t be home. You can ask friends/followers to contact a point person or send service details to interested parties via private messages.
I am so sorry for your loss.
God bless.
Please do not feel guilty for refusing to pay to have the obituary in a print newspaper with an online presence. I agree your wife would likely not approve of the cost.
Use the money to take your family out to dinner a few times, or for something else that is for you.
If you do post an obituary on line, and it has details of the time of the Service... please ensure that a neighbor will sit in the house as a house sitter so that no one can break in, while no one is home.
Burglars often read obituaries and note the time of the service.
Lastly, I have a friend that worked for a large Newspaper in Philadelphia, She is older and told me that in the 80s and 90s the newspaper used to post obituaries for free.
In fact, she said they would contact the funeral homes for the information. It was a way to attract readers to the paper.
But that was a time when print newspapers were profitable because they did not have competition from the internet.
Now most newspapers are failing financially and they charge for obituaries because they need revenue.
I think it is shortsighted to charge because obituaries are still a way to attract readers.
A few small weekly local newspapers will still print an obituary for free.
In addition: Here are a couple of links to a sites that lets you post an obituary with pictures for free.
https://everloved.com/articles/obituaries-and-funeral-announcements/how-publish-obituary-free/
https://obituarieshelp.org/free_obituaries_hub.html
I really do not get your liberal comment. Makes no sense to me and I’m a liberal. I do not plan on having an obituary for my husband and of 45 years nor do I want one for myself. It’s an obscene cost, just as caskets and funeral director’s prices.
As said it is a purely personal decision. I went online looking for a historical obituary of my sister. She died very young, I was disappointed that it was nearly impossible to find. I think mom may have a clipping in her things somewhere. So its like most things will you keep up with it, will it even matter much to future generations? --That kind of thing.
when my parents passed they did the orbit as long as it was under so many words. They may not now.
I wholeheartedly agree that the price is exorbitant, but when there is only one newspaper in town, there isn’t much choice. Our local paper prints what is called a “death notice “ for free. Includes name, date of death, and funeral home contact.
The information is provided by the funeral home; you really have no control over the contents. The newspaper sets the standard for the info for the funeral home to supply.
An obituary usually contains name, date and city of death. Place and date of birth, parents names. Survived by names: spouse, children and grandchildren, sisters/brothers etc. Then the family decides whatever best suits the departed: education, career highlights, favorite hobbies, religious affiliations, clubs, etc
Then the burial information, which includes place, date, and time for visitation, memorial service, and burial; funeral home contact info, special requests (donation in lieu of flowers, etc). Some include officiant and pallbearers.
Most newspapers charge by the length, so anything other than very basic information can get very expensive.
The biggest problem with social media is that many elderly are not members. And as you said, they are used to checking the obituaries daily.
My only solution is a VERY brief obit that lists the deceased’s name, and refers readers to a social media site (name included) for more information. Once the elderly reader has seen the basic information, they can usually find a tech savvy relative to help them access the social media site.
Where my parents are buried is private and the cost of setting a headstone is $500.00 not including a marker. The marker itself runs just as much, if not more.
At a Riverside CA owned cemetery, the cost of setting a headstone is no more than $250.00 and you can buy the marker online or through the cemetery. If you had to purchase a plot, service and flowers, the cost at a private facility is as much as $20K for a plot, $7,500.00 for preparation of viewing and service and $3K for site prep for a total of $30,500.00.
When people are mourning a loved one, it is very easy for a cemetery to use that state of emotion to cash in. You can purchase coffins at Walmart and other online resources.
The smart thing, if you can afford it, is to by funeral insurance early in life and it could end up saving you thousands of dollars. Death is expensive, but it doesn't have to kill you! Good luck skip the obit.