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I have begun to do the laundry for my parents as their dementia is progressing. I have discovered that my father's underwear is usually soiled with feces. I am concerned with his skin condition from wearing soiled underwear (also note brown stains on his pants too). I bought him wet wipes to use and some padded underwear (and disposable underwear which he refuses to wear). However he is not using them and both my parents only shower once a week. My mother lost her sense of smell years ago and is not bothered by their body odor. They both are very resistant to having outside caregivers. They deny that my father has bowel issues. My mother insists my father has always had diarrhea and now with moving slower he has a hard time making to the bathroom in time. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks!

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Ugh this is yucky. The few times my mom had poop problems, I was in tears cuz I just could NOT deal with it.

If you are determined that he use pullups, you will have to remove his current underwear and replace them with the pullups. He will not want to change to these but I agree that he should. Poop stains on his PANTS is just not OK. He is sitting here, there, everywhere, and leaving poop germs on all their furniture, etc. Just so unsanitary.

Most elders are in denial about all kinds of things! Poop problems? Nope, not me! Dementia? Not me either!

Like most elders, they are resistant to caregivers. Besides YOU! But there's only one of you and they need more help than you can provide. Sooooo, the caregivers are for YOU. That's what I told my mom. I started with a cleaning lady, on her dime, of course. She could not keep her room or bathroom clean (in my house), so I had a company come in every other week. Then I added some caregivers for a few hours 1 or 2 days a week to spend some time with her and give her her pills and lunch, etc. I would suggest that you start with an approach like this ASAP.

Best of luck!
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Has your Father had a recent medical checkup? Sometimes constipation can cause blockage then sort of bypass leaks. People can have reactions to medications, or become intolerant to certain foods. Gut infections can cause bowels to get out of order or urgency. Decline in mobility to get there, manage clothing can also play a part eg walking speed or arthitic joints.
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Neese57 Jul 2023
Thanks for the suggestions . He has home visits from a nurse practitioner and I know any further procedures for diagnostics would meet with resistance from him. I was also thinking that he may have a blockage of some sort. My folks barely eat the meals that we provide and complain that we bring them too much food-they live on sandwiches and ice cream and sweet treats! It is so difficult to get them to comply with what we know is best for them!
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He will need supervision with scheduled toileting. It may be time for incontinence briefs so that they are thrown out. He is showing signs of moderate dementia.
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Neese57 Jul 2023
Thanks for the input-will keep trying to get him to wear them. so far he is resistant to using them.
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