My stepfather (92) has removed my name from hipaa/hospital forms as my mother's daughter. Now what?
In September 2013 my mother's memory was failing and my stepfather chose to visit his son out of state. She was in no shape to be alone; she was bit by her own dog (???) and wound up in the hospital with an infection. (Couldn't remember to take her antibiotics.) When I called the hospital to see how she was they said they could only give information to family. I said I was her only child. They said they had no record of a daughter, only a son. (They had my stepbrother's name. We were adults when they married, this was her second marriage.) There is no question now that my stepfather's actions were deliberate. He has since moved her out of state and has no communication with me. My stepbrother and his girlfriend are caring for both of them; my stepbrother tells me my mother is getting increasingly anxious. (In need of professional assistance.) My stepbrother does everything required to keep the peace with his father. How do I fix the next of kin records? My stepfather is frail and my stepbrother is also in poor health. I am terrified something will happen to them and my mother will be lost to the system. Thank you in advance for any guidance.
When my younger sister was hospitalized many miles away, she had only her boyfriend there. I called the hospital and volunteered to be the family contact, and they did call me several times, in one case for permission to perform a minor procedure (insert a central line). I have never had to provide a number in order to visit or talk to a family member's providers, but I have heard of that procedure before. It's not universal, apparently.
Maybe you could talk to your stepbrother or his GF, MickiSuzanne? Ask somebody to let you know if your mother needs your help in any way. Email them if that's the only way. You don't have to say you're worried that your stepfather and stepbrother will die and leave her stranded, only that you're concerned that she's getting the care she needs and you're willing to step in if needed for future decision-making and planning for her needs.
Are you sure though that your stepbrother took action to remove your name, or as Carla raises, perhaps he just (deliberately) failed to include it during a renewal?
There's also the possibility of seeking guardianship for her.
HIPPA has complicated things for families in its attempt to protect patient confidentiality. The only time I can see a provider to someone who is not on the patient's list is when they have no list, thus no contacts within the patient's family to talk to . Any family member who calls up and identifies as a family member can then become the contract person. If the providers have been given a list of contacts, they will most likely be hesitant to go beyond what they've been given.
Do you have a good enough relationship with your mother's caregivers that you can ask them to include you on the forms so you can get information about your mother? Can you relate to them the same concerns that you've expressed to us? If not, the only way I can see to get yourself "in the loop" is to show up in person, explain who you are, get your mother to acknowledge you as her daughter, and ask the hospital and doctor to amend the forms to include you as next of kin. In your place, that's what I would do.