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I hope you don't mind that I answer the question you posited on my wall here so that it may be of benefit of others.
I will try to answer your question given what you stated.
A Will is only applicable to probate assets. Probate assets are those that are not governed by some other mechanism. So, for instance, if a life insurance policy has a named beneficiary other than "the estate of", then the proceeds will pass directly to the beneficiary and by-pass probate and the Will.
Similarly, if an IRA has a named beneficiary other than "the estate" it will pass directly to the beneficiary and by-pass probate and the Will.
There are methods to have virtually all assets by-pass probate if that is the intention. Most commonly used are the designation of beneficiaries as noted above, revocable living trusts, and joint tenancy.
When it comes to bank accounts, those held jointly will pass directly to the joint holder and thereby by-pass probate and NOT be subject to the terms of the Will.
If mom's intention is for assets at her death be subject to her Will then the proper way to establish bank accounts (or any other asset) where Power of Attorney is to be exercised is to have al accounts in Mom's name ONLY with the POA submitted to the bank or other institution so the POA can handle those accounts.
If the accounts are in Mom's name only and there is no "Payable on Death" or "Transfer on Death" beneficiary or if the account is NOT "In Trust For" then the proceeds will be subject to probate, and therefore, mom's will.
This is a difficult situation, and unfortunately, having an attorney’s advice and representation is critical. You should involve the local police department or sheriffs department where your mom lives if: You are sure your sister’s actions are fraudulent or unlawful, you are sure your mother agrees, and you are convinced there is no other way to resolve things. See if they have an elder abuse or elder crimes division and contact them. Have specifics and concrete evidence if possible- such as if your sister went directly against wishes expressed by your mom, or if things she purchased with your mom’s money are obviously for her own purposes.
There will always be one in the family accusing another family member of stealing money. And it is most often the one who shares no responsibility in the care giving. You guys come out of the woodwork when there is money involved. But, when you are asked to help you're always too busy, got other things to do, you don't have time. Your sister is taking care of your mother and making sure her bills get paid. When was the last time you helped your sister take care of your mom????? Or did your boyfriend come first?
Cowgirl - right on. I am in a similar postiion. Neither of me siblings does anything to help my aging parents. I stopped communciating with them because one really didn't give a sh@t and the other only wants to know how much money is left. So I said, if you need to know anything, call them yourself; I'm not a reporting agency. I do it all -- the doctors, church, the meds, the grociereis....why should report them? Screw that. So I know my sister is consumed with the fact that I know how much money they have (which is hardly nothing -- that's the joke of it!) and she doesn't. If she really cared about them, money wouldn't be her priority. MY PARENTS HEALTH AND WELL-BEING would be her priority, but it is not. The only priority my sister has is herself.
So NoVoice - If you're really concerned about your Mother, then go see her and get involved in the day to day. Even if you live further away, there is a way to help, if even emotionally.
I have to comment on this one as it is a very familiar senerio in my life. I am the youngest of 3 siblings and my name got put on my moms account as a beneficiary and as someone who can also pay my moms bills when she is not able to. I can grocery shop for her, pick up her pills, and other things. She needed this after my dad passed on as a security measure we felt, and the bank suggested it to be me, since I am the closest living sibiling. As time passed by however, I was accused off and on by another in my family of stealing moms money. This is so off in left field, and made it very upsetting that my siblings did not trust me. It made me so upset that I called my sister who lives further away and told her that she needed to be the POA for mom so I was not in charge. I still am moms POM (power of medical), because no one is here to handle that job and it has always been me. My mom has a Will and a Quit Claim deeds on her 2 homes. So that is taken care of. What makes me sad is that I have spent all my enitire savings on taking care of mom , running her to doctors, shopping, and on and on as most caregivers understand those expenses. I even lost my job over moms health. I have Now been unemployed for 2 years, no health insurance, and all my savings is gone. I have had long talks with my siblings about the expense and burden that this has been on my life. There is still some aggravation and mistrust I feel with them, but they are rarely here. Well , I take that back that one of them is here off and on. But If your gonna have mis-trust with your sibliing, you need to get your self more involved. If your sister is the caregiver to your mom, you should make sure that she is being taken care of also for what she is doing. The cost of care is not cheap and nobody can do this for free. I got an early inheritance of money 2 years ago that everyone cried about. But mom offered that help to them also if they wanted it and no body wanted it. Now they keep throwing it in my face. As far as I am concerned, I have plenty of reciepts in life here to show how much I have spent out on this other home of hers that I am living in,. and the upkeep, that she did not pay for, even though I am not paying rent here. I have sacraficed a lot. If you don't trust your sister, you need to get help with that quickly , so as to not ruin your relationship with her if it hasn't already. I really don't know your situation, but before you accuse your sister, you just need to get more involved and ask questions. Having a designated POA helps and I am happy to have handed that responsibility over to my sister. It took a lot of mistrust off my shoulders. Now everything I spend is being documented. But I can prove by her bank account and mine, that nothing has gone on that they all thought was happening. Hope it all works out for you, I just feel its so sad when money is the issue or the the mistrust of your siblings.
Taking care of an elderly parent is a thankless job that requires alot of physical and mental strength. Anyone taking care of a parent should be paid out of the inheritance for this chore. Usually,..only one person gets stuck with all the work,..and the other siblings are clueless and do not thank the sibling that does all the work for little or no pay. When a sibling that contributes so little,..and has the nerve to worry about their inheritance chimes in,..it can be unnerving to the community of caregivers out there. Anyone reading this,...that is not contributing,..remember to thank your brother or sister for all the hard, tedious hours that they are spending in maintaining your parents livlihood. Stop thinking about yourself for once.
FrankieS- I am in the same position. My youngest sister has mental health issues and a real problem with money. She convinced my father to disown me. I was taken out of the Will and she convinced my dad to make her POA and POM. But she was not his caregiver. His wife was his full time caregiver. I would go over when my stepmom needed assistance as my dad progressed thru dementia. Tried to call her a few times, but could never get to her as she had he son screen calls! Long story short, he is now in Long Term Care and remembers nothing. In the meantime, she is not paying his bills, instead has taken over 10 grand to spend on herself. My stepmom can not afford an attorney, so this just goes on and on. We had to set my stepmom as SS Rep Payee because sister was spending that money and committed fraud by changing his address and setting up a Myssa account. It is fraud as no one can set up that account. SSA does not recognize POA, so it was fraud. Sister has failed to make her payments (his portion out of his pension) and has changed the account his pension is deposited too. It is a sh@t show, but without an attorney, not much we can do! To top it off, she is a manager in the Fraud department, so knows the ropes! She has now overdrawn his checking account. The bank will have to go after her as her name is on that account! I am just praying that the nursing home doesn’t make him leave. So, I completely understand your concern! And for reference, even though he disowned me and pulled me out of the will, my father and I have remained in touch and I have assisted my stepmom when needed! Hang in there. We are just waiting for the bomb to fall, but she is responsible as the POA!
2ndBest - I am sorry for whatever might be happening in your situation, a sibling taking advantage of your parents money. I, however, am on the other side. I am on my parent's account because I pay their bills and they no longer have the mental capability of handling their finances or any other aspect of their lives. I have siblings. They do nothing. I am left holding the ball. I have never spent a nickle of my parents money on myself, let alone take $$ for providing care on a daily basis. I guess what I want you to understand is that there are a few good ones out here. We are doing the work, we provide the care and handle everything. Every family situation is different. I hope you are wrong about your sister. If not, doing the research isn't enough. You need to hire an elder care attorney now. Don't wait! I have a sibling who will sue me when my parents are gone because they are so desperate for $$$. There isn't any left. NH got most of it. And they will find no wrong doing. Whatever is left, will be split equally among the siblings. I'm good with that. I can sleep at night. Good luck!!
Why don't you see if they're keeping the books or a Excel spreadsheet that they can share with you. Are you contributing to the care of your parent? Surely, the work and stress of living with your parents and caring for them is worth something. Unless your sister is a thief and untrustworthy, give her the benefit of the doubt. Why not sit down in a neutral setting and ask her if she'd be willing to show the expenses so you can possibly help contribute. That would be an offer hard to refuse
I had to become my mother's legal Conservator (this goes through Probate court, call the Public Administrator). Although it also incurs legal fees (you have to have an attorney), it will keep anyone else from using your mother's funds. Another option is a Durable Power of Attorney. This will not keep anyone else from using funds but WILL give you the authority to prosecute if you choose. It sucks, but not many choices.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I hope you don't mind that I answer the question you posited on my wall here so that it may be of benefit of others.
I will try to answer your question given what you stated.
A Will is only applicable to probate assets. Probate assets are those that are not governed by some other mechanism. So, for instance, if a life insurance policy has a named beneficiary other than "the estate of", then the proceeds will pass directly to the beneficiary and by-pass probate and the Will.
Similarly, if an IRA has a named beneficiary other than "the estate" it will pass directly to the beneficiary and by-pass probate and the Will.
There are methods to have virtually all assets by-pass probate if that is the intention. Most commonly used are the designation of beneficiaries as noted above, revocable living trusts, and joint tenancy.
When it comes to bank accounts, those held jointly will pass directly to the joint holder and thereby by-pass probate and NOT be subject to the terms of the Will.
If mom's intention is for assets at her death be subject to her Will then the proper way to establish bank accounts (or any other asset) where Power of Attorney is to be exercised is to have al accounts in Mom's name ONLY with the POA submitted to the bank or other institution so the POA can handle those accounts.
If the accounts are in Mom's name only and there is no "Payable on Death" or "Transfer on Death" beneficiary or if the account is NOT "In Trust For" then the proceeds will be subject to probate, and therefore, mom's will.
Hope this helps.
This is a difficult situation, and unfortunately, having an attorney’s advice and representation is critical. You should involve the local police department or sheriffs department where your mom lives if: You are sure your sister’s actions are fraudulent or unlawful, you are sure your mother agrees, and you are convinced there is no other way to resolve things. See if they have an elder abuse or elder crimes division and contact them. Have specifics and concrete evidence if possible- such as if your sister went directly against wishes expressed by your mom, or if things she purchased with your mom’s money are obviously for her own purposes.
So NoVoice - If you're really concerned about your Mother, then go see her and get involved in the day to day. Even if you live further away, there is a way to help, if even emotionally.
luv to all.
-SS
-SS
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