Serious question, can I drop my dad off at the fire station?
Yesterday I took my dad to the assisted living facility less than one mile from my home, he had previously had an assessment and we were all set. He got agitated with me during move in. He has mid stage alzheimers but does not need any assistance with cares. He can be pretty nasty to me when other family members are not present. Anyway, while I was finishing up paperwork he left his room and went for a walk. No one at the facility knew where he was. I called him and he told me he was out for a walk and would call me if he needed help getting back. - Completely forgetting he had been angry with me. I sent my daughter to pick him up and she brought him back to the facility. He ate lunch there and they called me to tell me I had to come get him, he needs to be in memory care. My dad didn't understand why he couldn't stay there. The memory care facility is telling me before they will admit him he must have 2 physicians deem him incapacitated. I flew my dad here from AZ, we are in WI. he has wanted to fly back since he got here. There is no way he will agree to go to a doctor's office with me now. The local ADRC told me the facility could have an in house doctor see him rather than me taking him out to appointments. But now memory care wants to make him do another assessment, coming to my home today to do it. I'm anticipating he will be so angry and fed up that he will probably punch me in the face. I have no family besides my husband to help me, no siblings, etc.
Honestly, I need help, I have been trying to do this on my own since my mom died Oct. 1st. He cannot live alone, he doesn't take his medication, he smashed his car, he cannot manage any finances. I do have a durable medical and financial POAs, but the state of WI says 2 physicians have to activate it, even though it already states I have authority to place him in a facility and act as his guardian.
7 Answers
Popular Questions
Related Questions
- What care should I expect from a primary physician and neurologist?
- Should I go through any more tests to follow my husband's dementia?
- Mom's health care provider says it's time to move her out of her home. Can anyone share their experience?
- My spouse soon will have to enter a memory care facility. It’s a dreaded but necessary decision as she now needs assistance with all ADL’s. Any advice?
Get him moved in and things will be all right.
If you are serious that he may hit you, don't be alone with him even for one minute. Get a neighbor or your daughter or someone to stay in the same room with both of you and be ready to video his behavior with your phone.
Call 911 if he makes any aggressive moves. Have him transported to the ER in an ambulance and insist on an evaluation. Then refuse to take him home with you.
You don't have anyone to help, but you mentioned your daughter. I don't know how old she is, but since she did help get him back to the facility, I assume that you can expect support from her in some ways. Try to involve her a bit more until you get dad into memory care. That may be sooner than you think.
Wishing you the best of luck.
You're already doing the right things. Get the doctors to come to the house. Keep a record of his behaviors, especially the violence and threats and wandering off. If you have to call the police, do it. He needs to be in that facility asap.
My FIL had signed medical POA over to my husband. He was in so much pain that we couldn't move him. We called the family lawyer (NJ) and he said, "If you have the papers, you have the POA." We called a doctor's practice that ONLY makes house calls and had them come out to prescribe hospice.
Not the same situation as yours, but look into the house call services. Good luck. It sounds awful, and you have my sympathies.
Have you read the PoA docs? That is usually where it states what it takes to activate the authority, I don't think it's the "state of WI". That's why my PoA states only 1 diagnosis needed.
If he hits you, call the police. When they get there explain he has Dementia and has become violent. He will probably be taken to a psychiatric facility to find medications to keep him under control. This is when you refuse to take him back into ur home. He needs to be transferred from the facility directly to MC.
In my opinion a person with dementia should not be in AL but in Memory Care (Unless the AL is locked or otherwise secured so a person can not leave.. And with people entering and leaving it is just to easy for someone to "slip out")
I think the facility should accept him as a Memory Care resident without any further from doctors since you already have the authority.
But if he needs a doctor signature on forms it is possible that a trip to the ER might get you two signatures.
A trip to the ER might be for "agitation", "anxiety", maybe a light "wheezing" sound that you hear, "wobbly gait" or any number of reasons that you could come up with.
Would his doctors that he had seen previously sign off on the necessary paperwork? He has been diagnosed so the signature should not be a problem.