I am tired of the disrespect from kids in the classroom. Very stressful. I have an opportunity to be paid to stay at home to be mom's caregiver. It is through a program through state. They pay me to care for her. It does not pay close to what I make as a teacher but hubby and I are reducing our financial footprint. I am excited. I usually come home utterly exhausted and have little desire to do more than sleep. Covid came and our usual aides didn’t come that left me as sole caregiver. That had me thinking. Hubby said it’s a great idea , mom is happy about the idea as well, she’s really easy peasy… just wanted to throw this out into the world. I still think I may want to hire someone for every other Saturday for a reprieve. Is that unnecessary? Anything I’m not thinking of or seeing?
I do everything and get nothing but sh@t for my reward. Meanwhile the rest of the family do nothing and get everything given to them on a silver platter.
If you think those kids are bad, wait to you see how you are treated as a caregiver.
Get this, enrolled in a national caregiving study (as suggested by the neurologist). Oh brother, those people going to get an ear full at our first visit in a couple of weeks.
Yesterday my husband broke his denture. Eating biscotti. Ok-and he thinks he swallowed a piece of it-the denture. Ok. I piece it back together, and it seems perhaps a tiny (I hope) fragment may have been swallowed. Ok. Took the denture to the dentist today, and it might be ready in a week. Ok. So, I'll be making soft food for him to eat for at least a week. Which was an unplanned trip to the supermarket. With him in tow, so that slows things down. Ok.
All those Oks? I'm jus' tryin' to roll with it all. Tryin' not to stress. I've been sick the past few days, so this has been challenging. Thanks for letting me vent! : )
i think it's very kind of you to help your mother.
just be careful please.
make sure you also can live your life.
don't sacrifice your life.
help yourself and your LOs.
hug!! :)
wishing you well!! :)
1) Social security benefits when you are older. Will your state employer pay into social security? 2) Pension at retirement. Will you and your husband have enough? 3) special benefits teachers receive like a TDA 4) continuing education courses offered free to teachers 5) medical benefits including prescription drugs covering what Medicare doesn’t 6) discount travel benefits 7) a union that fights for you. I’m not saying you should stay but I am envious of retired teachers. 😀
I did exactly that, I gave up my job to look after mom (was also unhappy at work). At first it was nice to spend time with mom but how I wish I hadn't taken that decision. Financially it's tough (I don't benefit at all), Emotionally it's devastating and mentally it's draining.
Please think carefully before you take that plunge. Believe me your mom, if she follows the pattern of this illness, will become way more stressful than the kids.
It's just so sad that we have to watch someone we love so dearly going through this journey of their lives.
I defended my actions for a long time and took the consequences of my actions but quite frankly if I had it all to do again, I'd make different choices.
I am in love with the way mom used to be (dementia is so cruel) and that's what keeps me going.
Good luck but please don't be impulsive. Give it some serious thought before you take that plunge because once you do, there's no going back.
I love mom dearly but she is now just a fantasy. The real her has already left the planet with the occasional rare exceptions and it's those rare exceptions which I live for.
Good luck once again
I miss working and being around people all day who understand what I say the first time and give me personal space. However, I don’t have the luxury of another solution. She’s at that stage where she could live in assisted-living but she would need quite a bit of assisting. We live in an area where the cheapest assisted living situation is way more than she can afford. She wouldn’t qualify for Medicaid either. She’s not at the nursing home stage quite yet. I promised my father last year on his deathbed that I would do everything in my power to take care of her as long as I could.
I guess what I’m trying to say is the grass is not always greener!
Sadly, I walked away from my job of 26 years with the fantasy that caring for Mother would be great. For almost five years, we have no privacy, almost no respite (certainly none since covid) and that is really taxing, not getting a break.
Think about what your personal relationship with her is. I mean dig deep. Was she a nurturing parent? Or was she dismissive? Because these are traits that will surface on the journey. Caring for a dismissive (or covert narcissist), parent is a kind of hell all it's own.
For me, those are what make me think, "If only I'd known."
24/7 caregiving is HARD.
I did not like students yelling at each other or me. Fighting. Being destructive. Etc. tired of it.
Give it a shot.
Planning for time off is brilliant. Make sure to take that time off, even if you have nothing planned. If only to sit in the library with a book, is a dream. It's important.
Everything else will unfold and increase your knowledge. You'll be able to figure out most of it. Ask questions as they come up.
Altzheimers and dementia are brain diseases that will get worse. You may feel up to the challenge for now because you are not happy with your current employment situation, but I would seriously give this some serious thought.
You can explore a different field of work.