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I took care of mom for over a year. Had lived with her on and off for 25yrs. We did a Reverse mortgage to help both mom and me out. What can be done about her taking everything
Sorry your Sister did this to you. I'm warning you about this: If the Reverse Mortgage Holder finds out your Mom is not living in her home, they will call in the loan. They can take over selling Mom's house and getting their money back, plus legal fees.
When you get a RV Mortgage, part of the loan requirements are that the homeowner must maintain homeowners insurance, pay the property taxes, and most of all...must live in the home as their PRINCIPAL RESIDENCE.
What does your Mom have to say about this? How did Sister manage to close the bank accts. without your Mom being with her and agreeing to it? Does Mom want you to be cut off (and possibly homeless), and loose her home in the process? Sister must know this, so there is more to this story. Or sister doesn't know how she is jeopardizing your Mom's home ownership. That RV Mortgage must be PAID IN FULL once the Lender finds out Mom is not living there. There's a lien on Mom's house by the Lender that the Lender will enforce immediately. They will take over, sell the house and get their money back. Mom can't do anything about it, unless she has the cash to pay the Reverse off.
If there's a reverse mortgage on the house (which is the worst thing a person can do because they charge huge fees to give a person their own money), then your mother is at least 62 years old.
If this money was meant to 'help' you and her out, where is it? Your sister cannot just boot you out and move mom in with her. She must have POA or conservatorship/guardianship because your mother is mentally incompetent and cannot make her own decisions anymore.
I think you should attempt to have a serious sit-down with your sister and lay it all out for her. That you are now homeless and don't know where you will be laying your head down tonight. She may act with compassion towards you. It's worth a shot.
Also, depending on the laws of your state, if you were your mother's caregiver you will be allowed a certain amount of time in the home to make other living arrangements.
In the meantime, advocate a little for yourself. Call your state's social services and see what's available in the way of assistance for you. Good luck.
You know that I generally agree with you on most things but the OP may be a middle-aged person with no marketable skills and no real job history.
A person like this being able to get a job and earn enough to support themselves is impossible. People age out of jobs too. Even McDonald's isn't interested in hiring middle-aged people.
A desperate person facing homelessness who has no prospects doesn't benefit from being told off or from tough love. They need real help.
For your sister to get conservatorship she had to prove Mom incompetent to handle her own finances. If Mom is incompetent, maybe she was incompetent to sign that RM contract. As said its a loan, a debt, that has to be repaid when Mom left the house or sold it.
As said, its time for you to go to Social Services for help. If you don't have a job, you need to get one. If you can prove a disability then you can get help with SSI, its a supplemental income. Then u apply for Social Security Disability. They maybe able to help with temporary housing. Food vouchers. Food closets.
I am assuming ur the 46 yr old. So sorry this is happening to you.
You were not a paid employee of your Mom, you were a volunteer. Now your Sister has your Mother.
The problem here now is that you are a grown child. You will have now to make your own way in the world. That means job, money, savings, a home of your own even if you start at a rented room. You are not an 18 year old fledgling flying the nest, but a somewhat older fledgling; you are a fledgling, nevertheless.
I do not know here if your mother is competent or incompetent? I do not know here if you mother's reverse mortgage will be paid off and the home sold for her care? I do not know here whether you WERE POA and now your sister is?
All of these questions to the side, your mother either voluntarily went with your sister, or your sister somehow got guardianship of your mother. That reverse mortgage, now that mom is no longer (able to be) living in the home will quickly come due. The home will be sold to pay the mortgage loan and the rest of the proceeds your sister, as POA or guardian will have to safeguard and keep for your mother's care. She will be liable under the law and you should notify her that she best keep perfect records as you can file with an elder law attorney to ask the court to examine her POA or Guardianship/conservatorship papers to make certain she is not taking advantage of your mother and her money.
Good luck. I am very sorry, but the Forum sees over an over again the problems of a child who moves in to care for a parent and is left penniless, jobless, without a job history and homeless. We have gone so far as to suggest homeless shelter and refuge in the past. This is a tragedy, and--again--I am so sorry. Poor decision making in the past has now come home to roost.
I read your last post and this one. I also read your profile. There are a few things that make no sense to me.
You say you have lived with mom "off and on" for 25 years. You also say in your profile your mom is 46 years old. If that's the case, then she was about 21 when she had you? And I would then assume you're 25-ish? If this is indeed the case, there is no reason at all for you to not be able to find employment.
If mom is only 46, there is also no way she would have qualified for a reverse mortgage, you need to be at least 62. So, is that age of your mother a typo? Or are you misinformed about whatever loan had been taken out against the house? Could it possibly have been a home equity loan or line of credit?
For your sister to gain conservatorship over your mom, there would have had to have been a court hearing and/or interview of your mom by the court to make sure she was, indeed, not of sound mind and in need of conservatorship. If you live with mom, and are her primary caregiver, how did you not know this was going on, as you said in your first post?
Something about this story just doesn't seem right...
Nothing can be done about your sister taking control of your mother’s situation. Your sister took control of your mother’s situation because she must have found out that your mother is being ruined financially.
The reverse mortgage that your mother has is a loan on her house and the house is used as collateral for the loan. The reverse mortgage company now has a lien on the house and they are expecting to be repaid for the money they paid out to your mother. Once your mother moves out of her house, the reverse mortgage company will sell the house to recoup their money.
As a young person, you should not be dependent on your mother for your financial needs. You need to find a job that will provide finance for you plus you will be able to get Social Security when you retire. In the meantime, while you are homeless like you said, you should go to your social service office in your county to see if they can provide housing and financial help until you find a job and a place to live.
At his point, I don't think there is anything you can do, I'm sorry. If your sister has court granted control over your mother and her assets, she can do what she wishes in the best interest of mom. Is the house sold, or up for sale? You might have a chance of staying in the house if you've established residency, what you would need to do is contact legal aid to see if you have any rights or if they can assist you. You could have taken steps to prevent this, but you would have had to have been proactive a year ago, or when mom was lucid and competent. If mom is not deemed mentally competent now, you have no recourse with her.
My advice to you is to go to legal aid, see if they can help, also go to social services and get whatever help you can with housing and benefits. If you have addiction issues, please try to get help for yourself. If you are disabled and can't work, keep trying to get whatever benefits you can to help you get back on your feet. Best wishes to you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If the Reverse Mortgage Holder finds out your Mom is not living in her home, they will call in the loan. They can take over selling Mom's house and getting their money back, plus legal fees.
When you get a RV Mortgage, part of the loan requirements are that the homeowner must maintain homeowners insurance, pay the property taxes, and most of all...must live in the home as their PRINCIPAL RESIDENCE.
What does your Mom have to say about this? How did Sister manage to close the bank accts. without your Mom being with her and agreeing to it? Does Mom want you to be cut off (and possibly homeless), and loose her home in the process?
Sister must know this, so there is more to this story. Or sister doesn't know how she is jeopardizing your Mom's home ownership. That RV Mortgage must be PAID IN FULL once the Lender finds out Mom is not living there. There's a lien on Mom's house by the Lender that the Lender will enforce immediately. They will take over, sell the house and get their money back. Mom can't do anything about it, unless she has the cash to pay the Reverse off.
How was the sister able to do all of this without a POA? Have access to the mother's bank accounts and the reverse mortgage paperwork?
Unless the mother wanted things this way but doesn't want to be the "bad guy" who makes one of their kids homeless.
My mother would totally do that. Put the blame and scapegoat someone else for what she actually does and wants.
If this money was meant to 'help' you and her out, where is it?
Your sister cannot just boot you out and move mom in with her. She must have POA or conservatorship/guardianship because your mother is mentally incompetent and cannot make her own decisions anymore.
I think you should attempt to have a serious sit-down with your sister and lay it all out for her. That you are now homeless and don't know where you will be laying your head down tonight. She may act with compassion towards you. It's worth a shot.
Also, depending on the laws of your state, if you were your mother's caregiver you will be allowed a certain amount of time in the home to make other living arrangements.
In the meantime, advocate a little for yourself. Call your state's social services and see what's available in the way of assistance for you.
Good luck.
You should have been taking care of yourself right along, that is what responsible adults do.
Time to get moving and get your life on track. Good Luck!
You know that I generally agree with you on most things but the OP may be a middle-aged person with no marketable skills and no real job history.
A person like this being able to get a job and earn enough to support themselves is impossible.
People age out of jobs too. Even McDonald's isn't interested in hiring middle-aged people.
A desperate person facing homelessness who has no prospects doesn't benefit from being told off or from tough love. They need real help.
As said, its time for you to go to Social Services for help. If you don't have a job, you need to get one. If you can prove a disability then you can get help with SSI, its a supplemental income. Then u apply for Social Security Disability. They maybe able to help with temporary housing. Food vouchers. Food closets.
I am assuming ur the 46 yr old. So sorry this is happening to you.
The problem here now is that you are a grown child. You will have now to make your own way in the world. That means job, money, savings, a home of your own even if you start at a rented room. You are not an 18 year old fledgling flying the nest, but a somewhat older fledgling; you are a fledgling, nevertheless.
I do not know here if your mother is competent or incompetent?
I do not know here if you mother's reverse mortgage will be paid off and the home sold for her care?
I do not know here whether you WERE POA and now your sister is?
All of these questions to the side, your mother either voluntarily went with your sister, or your sister somehow got guardianship of your mother. That reverse mortgage, now that mom is no longer (able to be) living in the home will quickly come due. The home will be sold to pay the mortgage loan and the rest of the proceeds your sister, as POA or guardian will have to safeguard and keep for your mother's care. She will be liable under the law and you should notify her that she best keep perfect records as you can file with an elder law attorney to ask the court to examine her POA or Guardianship/conservatorship papers to make certain she is not taking advantage of your mother and her money.
Good luck. I am very sorry, but the Forum sees over an over again the problems of a child who moves in to care for a parent and is left penniless, jobless, without a job history and homeless. We have gone so far as to suggest homeless shelter and refuge in the past. This is a tragedy, and--again--I am so sorry. Poor decision making in the past has now come home to roost.
You say you have lived with mom "off and on" for 25 years. You also say in your profile your mom is 46 years old. If that's the case, then she was about 21 when she had you? And I would then assume you're 25-ish? If this is indeed the case, there is no reason at all for you to not be able to find employment.
If mom is only 46, there is also no way she would have qualified for a reverse mortgage, you need to be at least 62. So, is that age of your mother a typo? Or are you misinformed about whatever loan had been taken out against the house? Could it possibly have been a home equity loan or line of credit?
For your sister to gain conservatorship over your mom, there would have had to have been a court hearing and/or interview of your mom by the court to make sure she was, indeed, not of sound mind and in need of conservatorship. If you live with mom, and are her primary caregiver, how did you not know this was going on, as you said in your first post?
Something about this story just doesn't seem right...
The reverse mortgage that your mother has is a loan on her house and the house is used as collateral for the loan. The reverse mortgage company now has a lien on the house and they are expecting to be repaid for the money they paid out to your mother. Once your mother moves out of her house, the reverse mortgage company will sell the house to recoup their money.
As a young person, you should not be dependent on your mother for your financial needs. You need to find a job that will provide finance for you plus you will be able to get Social Security when you retire. In the meantime, while you are homeless like you said, you should go to your social service office in your county to see if they can provide housing and financial help until you find a job and a place to live.
My advice to you is to go to legal aid, see if they can help, also go to social services and get whatever help you can with housing and benefits. If you have addiction issues, please try to get help for yourself. If you are disabled and can't work, keep trying to get whatever benefits you can to help you get back on your feet. Best wishes to you.
Where are you living now? What's your plan?
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-sister-closed-accounts-i-had-wmom-became-conservator-behind-my-back-took-mom-out-of-our-home-told-483029.htm?orderby=recent�
You need to find a way to support yourself.