Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I have read a legal case where the family member was granted permission in a similar scenario. The parent was receiving end-of-life care in a family home. The home owner had POA or Guardianship & refused entry to another sibling. Reasons stated were past instances of verbal aggression, aggressive behaviour towards homeowner plus the result of the parent becoming extremely emotionally distressed.
The visiting sibling was allowed to visit with conditions; 1. only when appropriate notice was given (no drop ins) so homeowner could step out 2. only while being chaperoned by a Social Worker.
I make no judgement about your relationship with your sibling.
But if obtaining a Social Worker through the Hospice service is possible, maybe that approach could work for you too?
You may have the right to see your Mom, but a homeowner has the right who to let into their home. Involving a professional as a third party will hopefully bring a compromise.
If mom is on Hospice contact the Hospice and ask to talk to the Social Worker that is on the Team that you mom is with. The Social Worker might be able to pave a path for you to visit.
Who's going to enforce your rights to see your mom? That's the thing....you need to attempt to make peace with your sister so she will allow you in to see mom before she passes away. Promise her anything you need to promise her, so she'll lighten up and allow you entry to her home to visit your mother. Otherwise, I don't know what you can do? Call the police? What are they going to do, I have no idea. You can call and ask them what your options are, I suppose. It can't hurt, right? I just don't believe your sister has the legal obligation to let you into her home if she doesn't want to.
I'm sorry you find yourself in such a situation, and that your mother is under hospice care at your sister's. I pray she lightens up and lets you in so you can say goodbye to your mom. Sending you a hug and a prayer for a good resolution to an ugly situation.
Do they have good reasons for taking this action? Apparently your sister feels she does. Apologize to her( with no “buts”), that your heart is aching not being able to be there, that her death is imminent and final and that you have things to say to her before she leaves. Promise you will be very careful not to offend, that you would come only with love in your heart. Beg if you have to. Good luck I sincerely hope mom has a peaceful death with both her children there, each holding her hand.
Sometimes we need to stop one behavior or more to accommodate such people. This is hard, but sometimes it is best to give people what they want so that you may get some time with your Mom.
Your state should have an elder care ombudsman and there is a state bill of rights which says elders cannot be kept from seeing who they want, even if locked in a facility and with someone else having a POA. Easiest way, contact state ombudsman and explain to them their job and have the bill of patient’s rights handy. Second way, get a lawyer—- more expensive and time consuming.
Best to work it out with you sister. Otherwise you can get a lawyer which will only escalate the situation. I think of the case of Casey kasem and his story before he died.
Our lawyer explained the role of POA quite succinctly. The POA is legally required to represent the wishes of the person in place of that person.
If your mom would allow or want you to see her and your POA sister refuses to honor your mothers wishes, it is a criminal offense.
The question becomes Would mom let you visit her? If no, your sister is acting correctly. If yes, she can knock off the attitude or you can press charges and have her authority as POA revoked.
It’s easier for your sister to play nice than explain inexcusable behavior to a judge.
I tend to disagree with this attorney - a POA is responsible to do what is in the best interest / care for the person they are a POA for - it is to protect them from themselves - as their brain has changed and they can no longer make the best decisions for their self. Of course, taking into consideration the desires of the person - ultimately, the POA makes final decisions.
If this isn't clear, another attorney or professional needs to be consulted.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The visiting sibling was allowed to visit with conditions;
1. only when appropriate notice was given (no drop ins) so homeowner could step out
2. only while being chaperoned by a Social Worker.
I make no judgement about your relationship with your sibling.
But if obtaining a Social Worker through the Hospice service is possible, maybe that approach could work for you too?
You may have the right to see your Mom, but a homeowner has the right who to let into their home. Involving a professional as a third party will hopefully bring a compromise.
I'm sorry you find yourself in such a situation, and that your mother is under hospice care at your sister's. I pray she lightens up and lets you in so you can say goodbye to your mom. Sending you a hug and a prayer for a good resolution to an ugly situation.
I think of the case of Casey kasem and his story before he died.
If your mom would allow or want you to see her and your POA sister refuses to honor your mothers wishes, it is a criminal offense.
The question becomes Would mom let you visit her? If no, your sister is acting correctly. If yes, she can knock off the attitude or you can press charges and have her authority as POA revoked.
It’s easier for your sister to play nice than explain inexcusable behavior to a judge.
Sorry you’re going through this. Good luck.
If this isn't clear, another attorney or professional needs to be consulted.
Gena Galenski
Touch Matters