My brother and I take care of my mother (92) for the past seven years. I read your forum and always find helpful tips. Her question is "when do I go home," or "what day are we leaving?" We have tried changing the subject, I will take her outside, when it gets to much I will leave the room come back and she goes right back to it. You can tell her she is at home, and as soon as you finish the sentence she will say but when do I go back? If the answer is not what she wants she starts crying. This will go on sometime from the time she get up to the time she goes to bed. Non-stop. Talk to Dr. he has given her meds to maybe calm her down, doesn't work she won't stop talking long enough for it to calm her. Home is where she was born. Sisters, church members other relatives talk to her same questions. We are all at the ends of our rope. If she doesn't start as soon as she gets up at 2:00 pm the questions begin. Does anyone have any advice or solution. It will be appreciated.
Blessings to all.....
To where is she asking to return? Give her a purposeful repetitive task from her generational habits that will occupy her hands. Folding laundry is stereotypical, yet very calming, especially if the basket is filled with never ending clothing.
(tip: bring onto her unfolded laundry from the entire household). If she hated folding laundry, then find something that she liked to do. Something that might stop the loop is rephrasing her repetition as a question to her and asks why she wants to go.
You sound as if you are enduring water torture, yet you know that every day when and what will happen. similar to a toddler asking why, why, why? Anticipating it as aa normal everyday occurrance will require some discipline, and patience; how do most mothers or daycare workers cope with crying all day? They adapt their thinking.
Caregiving is difficult, Hugs.
When Dementia minds are calm the world is a happier place.
This disease will progress and it can effect how her body functions- to changing her personality, sundowing etc. Hang in there, your not alone.
As you said, She is having sundowning, it happens at the same time every day and the patient is agitated and can not be comforted, exhibiting fear, paranoia and other undesirable phenomena.
Have you talked to her doctor about prescribing something that could calm her down? I have read on this forum that people have had good luck with CBD or edible marijuana products.
I think that anything that will calm her fear is worth trying. Do some research on sundowning and effective treatments.
Is it possible to change the day so something different happens at this time? You have received some good ideas. Knowing what this is, is the 1st step to living through it. Maybe the edibles for you. My aunt said that they just chilled her out completely. She tried it because my cousin has behavioral issues and my aunt wanted to know how it felt because my cousin is soooo much easier to live with when she has enjoyed her edibles.
I hope you find something soon that calms her unrest.
Blessings to all
Thanks
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Repetitive questioning is the one single aspect of dementia care that I know I could not handle for more than an hour or two a day. You must want to burst into tears.
Teepa Snow is a good resource, you can find her seminars online.
I don't know if this will help, but do adjust your expectations. Your mother WILL ask these questions over and over and over. Your response can try to divert her or reassure her, but nothing will make a difference to her asking, only to how she feels in the present. You can only work on containing or appropriately releasing the unbelievable frustration it must cause to you.
A huge shoulder rub of sympathy to you.