My Mom is moving into a nursing home leaving two unfriendly cats behind. Any advice?
I'm at a loss. My mom has been living with my brother out of state for 6 months because of her declining health. She has become too hard to handle for him and we are working on getting her into a suitable facility.
Meanwhile, she has 2 cats left at home who I have been checking on and feeding a few times a week. In all the time she has been gone, I have not seen either cats once. Even when she was living at home, she would comment to me that the cats only came out when it was feeding time. No cuddle time, hardly, if ever even touched them. Basically, I consider them indoor feral cats. (She had brought the mother cat in when she was pregnant years ago, she had her kittens and we were able to find homes for all except the one male, who is the second cat at the house.)
What I'm asking is, has anyone had this experience and where do I turn for help?
Sorry if this is way off topic for a caregiver forum, I am just at a loss on where to turn for help. I live in the suburbs of Chicago, if that helps.
21 Answers
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I'd like to add a side note to the people posting about people being "selfish or lazy" when refusing to spay/neuter. My mother honestly thought she was doing the cats good by taking in a pregnant outdoor mother cat, like she honestly thought she was helping the outdoor feral cats by feeding them. I had told her numerous times either wasn't a good idea, but, obviously my mother, as well as many other mothers, did what she felt was right.
Sometimes, things are out of our control until we are forced to deal with the aftermath of poor decisions and a bad situation.
I would take the pets to a shelter. I would tell her the pets have gone to a shelter and that they will be rehomed if that is possible. In home ferals are uncomfortable all their lives in their homes, afraid and timid, basically living lives of misery. I would make it known to the shelter the conditions of their lives so far. A merciful euthanasia is preferable in my humble opinion to foisting such animals onto an unsuspecting adopter, where the misery of pets and guardians is simply compounded.
I have a distant family member with such pets, and it is quite honestly nothing but sad for all involved.
I found the best way to communicate with the cat is to be down at their level, thus sitting on the floor [if possible] and using a thin rope [like a clothes line] to get their attention. If they are hiding under the bed, just drag the rope slowly back and forth, eventually a paw will reach out to snag the rope. After that, the next visit sit a couple feet back, using the rope to get their attention. Rinse. Repeat. Eventually a pair of eyes will be peeking out to see who is playing with them =^..^=
Maybe the cats need socialization, or maybe they're beyond that. I think professionals should assess them, and they can determine how to proceed.
My cat was born feral. She is still skittish in many ways and likes to hide away. I don't read too much into the hiding behaviors, which is what I suspect is happening when you go to feed them a couple of times a week. My cat is a wonderful house cat though not a cuddly/social type, and it takes some effort to get her to engage in different things. It can be done, and I love her personality. Obviously, I don't know about these two cats, but it would be best to have them assessed by pros who've seen this before.
Last year a friend of the family unexpected passed and left behind two older small indoor dogs. They now live an outdoor life (except for winter evenings they spend in a heated garage) and seem happy running and barking at everyone who moves in the yard. We're up to 5 dogs now in the family compound: one 3 legged pit bull who was adopted as my grand-nephew's defender, one golden (when clean) doodle who loves taking a muddy bath in the creek, one Heinz 57 mix who came with my nephew's wife's neices, and the two latest additions. They get along well but sometimes when they ALL come to greet the car it can be an overwhelming amount of doggie affection.
That said, sometimes you need to face reality. Feral cats don't have many placements options. In my rural community, many people believe a quick death is more "humane" than allowing an animal to be mistreated or suffer hunger and thirst. Since you need to place your mother, I suggest trapping the cats and if you cannot find a good placement seeing a vet about euthanasia. A picture of the trapped cats being taken away "to a good home" (cat heaven) may comfort your mother.
My niece has a community of feral cats behind her house. There is a grant if the cats are caught, for $40 each, a Vet will spay. She has asked that people not drop off their domestic cats because the feral ones will chase them away not allowing them food or water.
I would try to find a no kill shelter and be honest about the temperaments of the cats so they can be adopted to the right homes.
The county animal shelter in my area is a no-kill shelter. One cat we have now had been adopted out four times and returned back to the shelter. The excuse was that he was too demanding. We adopted him, and yep he was very demanding but we found that comical. He finally adjusted, and each night for the past 3 years he will bring to me upstairs at night two of his favorite toys.
Playing with a cat will break the ice. Yes, it will take time for one to be trusting.
And thanks to the inflation situation more people are dumping and getting rid of pets and many shelters are full.
Your best bet would be to Google cat rescues in your area or no kill humane society though there may be a substantial waiting list to be on.
Dumping them outside would be cruel since they have come to relie on regular feedings from mom and don't have actual hunting instincts like a true outdoor ferel would have.
Just a sad situation for the cats.
Your Craig’s List cat may have been killed crossing the road – killing a cat isn’t easy, and if you’ve done that why would you dump it next to a road?
The rescue may be able to arrange for fostering until a "garden cat" adoption can be found.
If there are funds available and Mom cares about the cats, it would be good to make a suitable donation to the rescue, which should be a 501c3 charity,
I have to wonder why it has taken you 6 months to find homes for them.
Trigger warning (bad things happening to pets) https://www.peta.org/issues/animal-companion-issues/animal-companion-factsheets/dangers-free-good-home-ads/