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I’m worried she might assert squatting rights because she sleeps over nights and now asked if son can stay with her and mom. She gets paid for company solely and was researching that if she is a residential employee she cannot bill 5 hours of undisturbed sleep. Worried about her later refusing to leave and suing for unpaid hours when only sleeping

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No, no son. There was a post ages ago where a parent had a live-in caregiver. She got a nice basement apt to live in. Next thing that happened, because children lived far away, was the aide moved her husband and family in, moved the parent to the basement apt and took over the house. The bad thing in this country is squatters have rights especially when children are involved. Get that contract written up by a lawyer so there are no loopholes.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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This is one of the risks that you run when you are doing in home care, and you feel you need something for safety, but the costs are high.
Of course the answer to can her son stay if OF COURSE NOT. You simply say "You are working; this is a job; of course your son cannot be here while you fulfill this job and requirement".
But the fact she ASKED this makes me worry. I think you should have cameras in your home. The fact is that when you have someone in home like this they have access to all of your mom's private financial information, SS numbers, and etc. It's dangerous and it makes me wonder the willy nilly way people now give access to cleaners, other workers into a home when all their identity info is readily available in seconds, including charge cards and everything else.

I don't know. You are feeling that you have an elder not safe alone. These are difficult decisions. I can't tell if this is someone you just hired out of an ad, or is working bonded by some agency, or though something like care.com. Or what your wage laws are in your area. But does sound to me like you are right to be concerned at present. I want to wish you good luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Absolutely not, no matter how old this son is. Eventually it will be more family members.

Make sure she (the aid) knows she is not to have any of her mail go to your Mom's house (as this establishes it as her legal residence) and isn't moving in any of her personal belongings.

Also, there needs to be an employment contract with this caregiver. She needs to supply her actual residential address, birthdate, SSN, etc. I'd take a pic of her driver's license as well. If your Mom is paying her in cash under the table, she is asking for problems that won't be easily solved.

Are you your Mom's PoA? If so, I'd read the doc to see what is required to activate the authority (usually it's 1 official diagnosis of sufficient impairment made by her doctor). If your Mom doesn't have a PoA assigned, she needs to do this for her own protection. If she won't do it, that's it's own problem that will come back to haunt her and her family.

If your Mom wants a companion aid she is safest by hiring one through an agency. It's more money up front but much less probability of abuse.

If this aid establishes your Mom's home as her legal residence then your Mom will need to go through an eviction process to remove her (downloads paperwork to file with a fee that is several hundred dollars). Then the eviction can happen after 30 days. IF the person refuses to move out only then can your Mom request a police escort off the property.

Your Mom may in the meantime assign this privately hired aid as her PoA. This type of abuse happens all the time, and it did in my family: the aid drained the elder of everything and then disappeared leaving him penniless.

IMO it's not worth the risk. Fire this person and hire a legit aid through an agency, who is at least vetted and the agency then is liable if anything wrongful, accidental or nefarious happens.
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Reply to Geaton777
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No son stays there, that is taking advantage. I wouldn't trust this woman WHATSOEVER.
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Reply to Dawn88
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Back in April, we had a talk with my in laws allowing their sleep in caregiver to bring a child and what that would mean in terms of that caregiver gaining residency and potentially refusing to leave. This lady was told then her visiting husband could no longer stay there, and since then they’re “adopting” a little boy out of country and they’ll be coming for an extended visit.

You really have to watch it with independent caregivers, especially boundary pushers.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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If she wants her son to move in, the carer is seeing this as her home – and his. You say she sleeps over ‘in case of emergency’. Has there ever been an ‘emergency’ where she was needed? If not, you are risking a lot for ‘just in case’.

I’d think again about the whole arrangement. You may be better off turning it into a genuine tenancy with a contract and terms.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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You need a contract that spells out your expectations and terms for when mom is away for whatever reason.

For what purpose would the son be staying over?

I would not allow anyone to stay over w/o a contract.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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