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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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There isn’t a specific number when one becomes a senior. You deal with things as they come up on a day to day basis. And it’s not something that your children take care of for you. You figure out what you’re going to do on your own. You go to the doctor if it’s a health problem. If it’s an emotional or mental health problem see a therapist.
What is a senior? Though many places give senior discounts at a certain age, becoming elderly and a senior is a long process. It is not a switch the you can flip on or off.
Some people are seniors when they are much younger.
In this day and age 64 is not old but I can see where Mom is coming from. I will be 71 soon. When I hit 60 I thought only 20 yrs and I'll be 80! Now its 9 years away. Has your Mom been thru Menopause? This may make her feel old. You mention depression, this would make the feeling worse. But as they say, time goes on. Nothing we can do about it. I have heard that keeping busy helps with depression. Does she have a therapist, if so she should talk to him/her. Even the Dr. prescribing her meds.
Please be aware we are Caregivers sharing our experiences not professionals. As said we are caring for someone or have cared for someone. The majority of us are Seniors caring for Seniors.
I'm 63, just about to turn 64. Yes, age-awareness is real - but - there's no universal emotional switch that suddenly flips in us when we reach A Certain Age. Something else must be happening as well.
Just as an example - your mother may be reacting to health challenges (from your profile, I can see she suffers from many, including hearing loss) *plus* emotions surrounding her age.
Would she be willing to talk to a counselor, or clergy, in addition to getting a thorough physical checkup (especially if she hasn't just had one)?
You can be - and are - supportive. She's lucky! But surely there are things she can do for herself to make her life better (or agree to accept help with doing said things).
But what would those things be? First step is to identify what's going on physically as well as emotionally. For this to happen, she needs to be willing to seek those answers, and take some steps - either on her own, and/or with reasonable help from you and/or others.
That's OK. I can vividly remember answering a question in my high school sociology class about when people start to get old with the age 65 - I figured hey, if they wanted an artificial number they should embrace it, right?
There is nothing that magically changes when someone has a milestone birthday, there can be lots of little things that slowly accumulate with every extra year though. Your mom has a lot of problems for a woman her age, none of which I who am only a little younger have and way more than my mom had when she was 20 years older than that, so I don't think focusing her age or life stage is going to get you the kind of help you need.
Great post! Gee, in high school I can remember thinking that anyone over the age 30 was old! 😂 Now that I am soon to be 65, I feel like 30 is very young!
Sociology is a fascinating subject. Different cultures have different beliefs.
I remember having a Japanese pen pal as a kid. It was a school assignment that was meant to be an aid in writing. I wrote to him every week for three years.
I was 12 and he was 15 when we started our correspondence. As a young American girl I was completely shocked at the cultural differences.
We told each other all of our secrets. He confessed to me that he did not want to get married at 18.
As I said, he was part of a traditional Japanese family and his parents had planned an arranged marriage.
The naive girl that I was, I wrote and told him not to marry her! He wrote back saying that he would humiliate his family if he didn’t marry her and the only way out would be to commit suicide.
We grew close through writing every week. I even had a crush on him. He invited me to go ice skating with him. I so wanted to meet him that I asked my mom if I could go. Of course she said no.
He sent me silk bookmarks, photos of beautiful Japanese gardens and architecture. The stamps were beautiful on his letters. I wish I had kept them.
Today we have the internet but there is something special about old fashioned letters. Men and women fell in love just by letter writing during WW11.
My mom wrote to the soldiers and she received a proposal from one of them!
Mom told me that some pen pals fell so deeply in love that they met and married after the war. Now there are dating sites like Match.com. Interesting, isn’t it?
You do realize that many posters here are older than your mom and they are caregivers for their parents, spouse or siblings. That is why the comments and concerns that she is so young, no need to get ugly, no one said anything inappropriate.
If you can't deal with questions or other viewpoints, internet forums are probably not the best place for you to seek information. To many different types of people to not have a wide array of opinions. Maybe you can find a senior support group locally for your mom.
Do you feel like she is dealing with anxiety about aging along with her health issues?
If you feel that she is struggling with anxiety you could suggest that she speak to a therapist to help ease her fears.
I think the people who have posted responses to you realize that you are reaching out for help to seek answers about supporting your mom. We are here to help.
Do you have any other questions for us? As caregivers or former caregivers we have walked in your shoes and we empathize with you. It’s stressful and a challenge.
Can you provide a bit more information for us so we can address that topic?
I do not appreciate people on here as my mom is a senior and it doesn't matter how young of a senior she's a senior she hasn't been healthy most of her life but some things are getting worse we live together because we want to she is not looking for attention I just wanted to know how do I help her with the fears she has of becoming a senior I certainly didn't need anyone saying she looking for attention as that's not the case or saying she's to young or saying does she have bathroom issues all I wanted was I no she's not well and she's having fears mentally and physically of becoming a senior and wanted to know how I can support her with her fears alot of people when they become a new senior have many fears and just wanted to hear from some people on the thoughts other people had of becoming a senior and how can I help her fears to be relieved and help her cope better mentally and physically with her health and mind not for someone to say she's young to have health problems or to say she's looking attention she been sick for years but that doesn't mean she to young to become a senior or is she having bathroom concerns or for her to get her ears check are to young to live with me when that's what we. Both want those comments or very hurtful and not necessary I just wanted to have seniors please let me know what fears they had of becoming a new senior mentally and physically and what they did to cope
Sometimes hearing loss can have a terrible impact on mood. If she’s cooperative, a good diagnosis by a professional audiologist (credential should be ASHA CCC/AUD) can give her the information she’ll need to use the hearing she has to best advantage.
“Becoming a senior”, in her case, sounds like accumulating a whole list of bad habits, and having gotten you involved, expecting someone else to “fix” her.
Will she assume responsibility for some aspects of self improvement if given a good analysis of what she CAN do to help herself? Ultimately it is much better for her AND FOR YOU to motivate herself than to rely on you.
Unless she’s been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s, she really is too young to throw in the sponge.
If she hasn’t had a comprehensive physical recently (last 6 months), she needs one now.
Meanwhile, encourage her to address her situation as independently as possible. Nudge, don’t drag.
Hi I never once said I didn't want to live with .y mom for I do regarding her hearing it is good I didn't need to have her cut down all I wanted to know was becoming a senior how can that affect her and what things should I expect
Leanne, oh my gosh, your Mom is so young to be having all those medical issues. Are these medical issues all new or has your Mom being having these problem for many years? Has your Mom used illnesses to get attention?
As for the mood swings, I would recommend that your Mom get tested for an Urinary Tract Infection. Such an infection can cause all types of different medical issues including mood swings.
Hi we both live together for that's what we want I never said for a minute that I didn't want to live with my mom for I do I just wanted some advice on how senior deal mentally with becoming a senior
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You listed conditions that YOU believe your mother has, or MAY have. We (some of us), responded to the comments you made
If there were incongruities between the questions you asked and the answers you received, they were not intended by anyone, to offend you.
I hope you find whatever information you think you need, whether here or somewhere else.
What is a senior? Though many places give senior discounts at a certain age, becoming elderly and a senior is a long process. It is not a switch the you can flip on or off.
Some people are seniors when they are much younger.
Please be aware we are Caregivers sharing our experiences not professionals. As said we are caring for someone or have cared for someone. The majority of us are Seniors caring for Seniors.
Just as an example - your mother may be reacting to health challenges (from your profile, I can see she suffers from many, including hearing loss) *plus* emotions surrounding her age.
Would she be willing to talk to a counselor, or clergy, in addition to getting a thorough physical checkup (especially if she hasn't just had one)?
You can be - and are - supportive. She's lucky! But surely there are things she can do for herself to make her life better (or agree to accept help with doing said things).
But what would those things be? First step is to identify what's going on physically as well as emotionally. For this to happen, she needs to be willing to seek those answers, and take some steps - either on her own, and/or with reasonable help from you and/or others.
There is nothing that magically changes when someone has a milestone birthday, there can be lots of little things that slowly accumulate with every extra year though. Your mom has a lot of problems for a woman her age, none of which I who am only a little younger have and way more than my mom had when she was 20 years older than that, so I don't think focusing her age or life stage is going to get you the kind of help you need.
Sociology is a fascinating subject. Different cultures have different beliefs.
I remember having a Japanese pen pal as a kid. It was a school assignment that was meant to be an aid in writing. I wrote to him every week for three years.
I was 12 and he was 15 when we started our correspondence. As a young American girl I was completely shocked at the cultural differences.
We told each other all of our secrets. He confessed to me that he did not want to get married at 18.
As I said, he was part of a traditional Japanese family and his parents had planned an arranged marriage.
The naive girl that I was, I wrote and told him not to marry her! He wrote back saying that he would humiliate his family if he didn’t marry her and the only way out would be to commit suicide.
We grew close through writing every week. I even had a crush on him. He invited me to go ice skating with him. I so wanted to meet him that I asked my mom if I could go. Of course she said no.
He sent me silk bookmarks, photos of beautiful Japanese gardens and architecture. The stamps were beautiful on his letters. I wish I had kept them.
Today we have the internet but there is something special about old fashioned letters. Men and women fell in love just by letter writing during WW11.
My mom wrote to the soldiers and she received a proposal from one of them!
Mom told me that some pen pals fell so deeply in love that they met and married after the war. Now there are dating sites like Match.com. Interesting, isn’t it?
If you can't deal with questions or other viewpoints, internet forums are probably not the best place for you to seek information. To many different types of people to not have a wide array of opinions. Maybe you can find a senior support group locally for your mom.
If you feel that she is struggling with anxiety you could suggest that she speak to a therapist to help ease her fears.
I think the people who have posted responses to you realize that you are reaching out for help to seek answers about supporting your mom. We are here to help.
Do you have any other questions for us? As caregivers or former caregivers we have walked in your shoes and we empathize with you. It’s stressful and a challenge.
Can you provide a bit more information for us so we can address that topic?
Best wishes to you and your mom.
“Becoming a senior”, in her case, sounds like accumulating a whole list of bad habits, and having gotten you involved, expecting someone else to “fix” her.
Will she assume responsibility for some aspects of self improvement if given a good analysis of what she CAN do to help herself? Ultimately it is much better for her AND FOR YOU to motivate herself than to rely on you.
Unless she’s been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s, she really is too young to throw in the sponge.
If she hasn’t had a comprehensive physical recently (last 6 months), she needs one now.
Meanwhile, encourage her to address her situation as independently as possible.
Nudge, don’t drag.
As for the mood swings, I would recommend that your Mom get tested for an Urinary Tract Infection. Such an infection can cause all types of different medical issues including mood swings.
Is she really ill?
Because I think we are only as old as we feel and 64 is not old enough to be feeling like a senior citizen.
I do believe that people can convince themselves that they are not well if they are not productive and active. What does she do with her time?