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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Going under could have worsened his Dementia. Anethesia takes a while to get out of the system. He may get better he may not.
Open heart surgery does weaken you. A younger person bounces back faster than an 83 yr old. I too wonder if he went to Rehab? If not or even if so, you may want to talk to his Dr. about having "in home" therapy.
Has he attended cardiac rehab following his surgery? That’s often a requirement after surgery to help with strength. Geaton has given you wise advice. Please know your don’t have to stick around for meanness or demands, take a break each and every time he’s this way, go for a walk or to another room and protect yourself. Definitely look into meds for calming him. I wish you both peace
Your profile says he has dementia or ALZ. "Meanness" is a symptom of this disease (unless he was always mean to you). You can discuss medications for his mood with his doctor. This is very common for dementia patients. It is merciful to keep them as calm as possible (not in a stupor, but less agitated) and for your sake as well.
As for his being demanding, you don't have to jump to his every beck and call. Here is a helpful thing to remember:
Rules for engaging with dementia:
1) Agree, do not argue
2) Divert, do not attempt to reason
3) Distract, do not shame
4) Reassure, do not lecture
5) Reminisce, do not ask “Do you remember…?”
6) Repeat, do not say “I told you”
7) Do what they can do, don’t say “you can’t”
8) Ask, do not demand
9) Encourage, do not condescend
10) Reinforce, never force
Also, please inform yourself more about dementia so that you can have a more peaceful household:
Most of the following YouTube videos are pretty short.
Phrases to Learn for Caregivers (Teepa Snow, dementia expert) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKejCymVS2Q
Dementia Communication Strategies with Joan Lunden & Teepa Snow https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OubTWj995Q
Understanding Symptoms and Behaviros of Dementia - Teepa Snow Webinar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tzJGUxio8M
How Dementia Affects Language Skills (Teepa Snow) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BlZF_4EKp4
Common Issues With Dementia (Teepa Snow) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5QMeQpkPhA
4 COMMON DEMENTIA CAREGIVER MISTAKES (start 3 minutes into the video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymp2SgFhNtw
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Open heart surgery does weaken you. A younger person bounces back faster than an 83 yr old. I too wonder if he went to Rehab? If not or even if so, you may want to talk to his Dr. about having "in home" therapy.
As for his being demanding, you don't have to jump to his every beck and call. Here is a helpful thing to remember:
Rules for engaging with dementia:
1) Agree, do not argue
2) Divert, do not attempt to reason
3) Distract, do not shame
4) Reassure, do not lecture
5) Reminisce, do not ask “Do you remember…?”
6) Repeat, do not say “I told you”
7) Do what they can do, don’t say “you can’t”
8) Ask, do not demand
9) Encourage, do not condescend
10) Reinforce, never force
Also, please inform yourself more about dementia so that you can have a more peaceful household:
Most of the following YouTube videos are pretty short.
Phrases to Learn for Caregivers (Teepa Snow, dementia expert)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKejCymVS2Q
Dementia Communication Strategies with Joan Lunden & Teepa Snow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OubTWj995Q
Understanding Symptoms and Behaviros of Dementia - Teepa Snow Webinar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tzJGUxio8M
How Dementia Affects Language Skills (Teepa Snow)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BlZF_4EKp4
Common Issues With Dementia (Teepa Snow)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5QMeQpkPhA
4 COMMON DEMENTIA CAREGIVER MISTAKES (start 3 minutes into the video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymp2SgFhNtw