My father (69 yo) has bought a house with me (I am his daughter, 29yo) and my mother (married to him). About 2-3 months ago, my father suffered from a cerebral stroke, and is now in rehabilitation. He now has some physical impairments, but he is mentally all here.
My father is supposed to come home in about 4 weeks, and my brother admitted yesterday that he refused that my father comes home to us, saying he does not trust us with his well being by saying we don't care about him and are not ready for him (I care very much about my father, but contrary to my brother, who currently has no stable job, I have a house to take care of, animals that can't feed themselves, and work 40 hours a week to pay the house, so I can't spare time for 3h drives to go see my father every day while he is in recovery)
Tomorrow, we have a meeting with the staff, and after I rebuted my brother, he said to wait until the meeting, that he won't allow my father to come home.
Is there any way that he can legally stop us from having my father back with us? And, if he manages to convince my father to go with him instead of us, what will happen to his stuff? My mother has a spouse bank account with him, they've shared everything all along, and we still have the house all 3 of us together...
I am worried my brother will try to cut us off from ever seeing my father again...
We are in Quebec, Canada
As said, if dad is mentally all there, he is free to make the decisions about where he lives.
Please be advised, strokes do cause brain damage. Your dad could be listening to your brother and not being forthcoming with you and mom. The doctors should have already shown you scans of where the damage is and what can possibly be expected.
Good luck with your meeting.
If your mother is competent and your father is competent then your brother will have nothing to say in this matter, almost certainly. But if your brother can manipulate your father to say he wishes to live with said brother, then brother may be created guardian through your court system.
What you need now if not the opinion of a bunch of worldwide forum members, but the help of an attorney in your own country who knows the rules and the actions to take and the documents to legally create to protect your dad, your mom and yourself.
I really don't understand children and their entitlement.
GOOD.
This where you will hear
1. What Dad's condition is
2. What his care needs are
CARE NEEDS should light the way forward. (NOT a who thinks best tussle between his children).
So wait for the meeting.
Once you have the facts, THEN discharge location can be discussed.
*Aim: Home. Will Dad be independant enough? Will his care needs be met? Who by? Mom? Mom + you? Mom + you + hired home help?
This will be your parent's decision. Mom has to be OK with it.
Has anyone asked your Mother what she thinks yet?
GOOD.
This where you will hear
1. What Dad's condition is
2. What his care needs are
CARE NEEDS should light the way forward. (NOT a who thinks best tussle between his children).
So wait for the meeting.
Once you have the facts, THEN discharge location can be discussed.
*Aim: Home. Will Dad be independant enough? Will his care needs be met? Who by? Mom? Mom + you? Mom + you + hired home help?
Sometimes A CARE TRIAL is suggested. Where the main caregiver to be takes care of Dad in the rehab for a 24 period. This will be her new reality. SHE has to be OK with this.
Has anyone asked your Mother what she thinks yet?
GOOD.
This where you will hear
1. What Dad's condition is
2. What his care needs are
CARE NEEDS should light the way forward. (NOT a who thinks best tussle between his children).
So wait for the meeting.
Once you have the facts, THEN discharge location can be discussed.
*Aim: Home. Will Dad be independant enough? Will his care needs be met? Who by? Mom? Mom + you? Mom + you + hired home help?
Sometimes A CARE TRIAL is suggested. Where the main caregiver to be takes care of Dad in the rehab for a 24 period. This will be her new reality. SHE has to be OK with this.
Has anyone asked your Mother what she thinks yet?
.
Dad can decide where to go.
But in general you might want to make sure you can reassure the rehab that you are prepared to take Dad home.
Since you work , your mother will need help taking care of Dad. Have a plan for some hired help coming in . Perhaps this is your brother’s concern . I don’t know if the rehab will send him home without a plan of hired caregivers to help .
I don’t know how it works in Canada.
I’m just guessing they would not send him home without enough help at home.
How does Brother think he can overrule his Dad's wife, for starters? Has he always been distrustful of you and Mom? Is he miffed being left out? Why on earth would Dad want to go home with your Brother instead of his wife (in his own home)?
I'd tell him to worry about getting a job and to mind his own business. I don't see what "legal rights" he has whatsoever. He sounds like a pompous jerk.