She refuses to accept the bugs are there. She states they don't bite her but I watch her scratch. This is really hard. She's declining fast. I am at a loss on what to do. I am trying to do the bugs on my own but it's such a huge undertaking she can't comprehend. She can be really mean and shuts down at the mention of the bugs. Is there a grant or help for her, maybe to help her understand or something?
First if mom is living alone with dementia she shouldn't be.
You need to have professional exterminators come in and eradicate the bugs.
Place mom in "Respite" while the extermination is done. I would also consider the Respite as a permanent placement.
With dementia she will not "understand" that the bugs are there, that they are a hazard to her health and that she should not be living alone.
JT Eaton had an excellent bedbug spray years ago. You will have to wash and clean the bedframe, mattress, furniture and cracks and crevices of walls. A good vacuuming of the carpet and cleaning will help. Launder bed linens in hot water and dry above 140 degrees. Wash all of her washable clothing. Check drawers where clothing is kept for bedbug droppings and vacuum all the drawers. Check corners of drawers. Take out vacuum bag immediately.
If you do not manage this as soon as you can, they will increase and be more of a problem. You don't want them all over the house.
Is 'she' in the bed with the bugs? Move her out of there ASAP !
Get her some medication. Contact her medical provider ASAP, too !
Gena / Touch Matters
I am a firm believer that a person with dementia should not be living alone.
The easiest way to resolve the current problem is to have someone take mom out for lunch or shopping. Someone stay at the house and have an exterminator come in and take care of the bedbugs.
With dementia getting her to understand something is going to be difficult.
I do hope you are legally in a position that you can make decisions for her. If not if she is unable to appoint a POA (an elder Care Attorney will determine this after talking to her.) you may have to seek Guardianship.
dhttps://greenharvest.com.au/DownLoads/HowToUseDEOnBedBugs.pdf
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You can buy it at hardware stores and online.
At 88 and with dementia, as your profile tells us, you are dealing with what is the new normal for your life.
Fighting bedbugs, with or without the help of pest control folks is DAUNTING in the extreme. If you go up to the blue timeline at the top of AC Forum you will see, on the far right, next to your circular avatar a magnifying glass. That's the search engine for the site. Type in bedbugs there and you will find a lot of good advice. RealyReal suggests diatomaceous earth, which is harmless to humans and pets, but does get the bugs. Problems occur with older homes, loose flooring or floorboards along walls, which allow hidden eggs and reinfestations. Having to treat EVERYTHING over and over isn't unusual and with mixed results whether with a service or alone. There is a ton of information online and on youtube as well. My kids here in the city went through this when the hubby brought them home from a trip away, and my neighbors next door when they rented their place for Airbnb. It is very daunting.
Given that you have an uncooperative senior with dementia, and if you have the POA to act for her, you may need to consider respite care. However, they need to be aware going in that she is dealing with an infestation, as she is going to have to come in with careful monitoring. Then you can address the issue.
This is a terrible situation, and must feel very hopeless. I can't do much but wish you luck and hope others have great suggestions for you.