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We have had very close calls when riding with her so we know she has had at least others without us in the car. We do not want to take the car away because we know she would decline if she didn't have this independence. We have asked her to just slow down and be patient but she says my sisters and I are just silly and overreacting. We know she is afraid we will take the car away because we know of at least two small scrapes that she just pays to have fixed and doesn't call the insurance company on. We love her so much and we don't want her independence taken away. (she is also forgetting things a little more often and doesn't answer the phone because she hates her hearing aids and can't hear the phone ring - I posted in another topic line) What in the world should we do? She is cognitively good otherwise.

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I was so relieved when mother lost her driver's license. She was so short that she was watching the road between the steering wheel and the dashboard. If you say a little blue car weaving down the road with nobody in evidence driving it--it was mom.

None of us was worried she'd hurt HERSELF, although she seriously dinged up all 4 fenders. We worried she'd hit a child or another car.

She had hip replacement with the eye to being strong enough to drive again. She never even made it out of the garage. YB put the handbrake on very tightly, but she was unable to get her walker in the back of the car, so opening the door and actually driving never happened. That was it for her driving. She really didn't push the issue.

She has plenty of drivers, but YB allows her to go only with him or my other brother. I drove her 3 blocks to BINGO last year after they opened up again--and then I had ankle surgery and YB took over. OR she can ride ONE MILE with a very dotty friend.

BTW, my dad's mom drove like a bat out of hell. She was a good driver to the end, only giving it up after her hip really bothered her. This was 30 years ago and there was a lot less traffic than there is now.

Sure males it easier then the loved one makes that decision to quit driving on their own.

Nowadays with Ubers--it is a whole new story. I can see being very independent and not having to have the hassle of a car. I used Ubers when I had cancer infusions and they were really kind.
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When you make a good point "Mom you need to slow down your going over the speed limit" and they act like you are being silly, there is some cognitive decline. I personally would not ride with her. She has had some scrapes and paid out of pocket, what about the person she scraped? Did she run away from the scene of an accident? If so, this is a problem.

Check your DMV to see if they test the elderly. If so, have her tested.
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She feels she can do anything because of her age. Good luck in dealing with that.
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