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I make suggestions she says no I don’t want to do that.

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Why not just leave her be. At 90 does she not deserve to be tired and to do as she wishes?
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Honestly, it should be her choice. I understand your train of thought but at the end of the day, it should be what she wants even if you don’t agree with it. I hope if I live to be 90 my kids will honor my wishes and not impose their own, no matter how well meaning.
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Your profile says your mom has "age-related decline, broken hip, depression, hearing loss, heart disease, incontinence, and mobility problems." I vote to leave her be to watch tv. You are transferring your desires onto her. Maybe it's more about what you want and not what she wants because you know in your heart what it probably means. Bless you for caring for her these past 3 years. But don't exhaust yourself trying to produce and dog and pony show for someone who doesn't want it.
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Her choice, let her be. Go about being active in your life.
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Geaton said it best.

I am 70. I raised two daughters and help/ed with two grandsons. Finally caring for my Mom in my home, then AL and LTC. We as a couple don't really socialize mainly because of my husband's deafness. He does not do well in crowds. I have never been "involved" in regular activities or groups. Not big on committing my time. I will help by baking, helping out now and then, driving someone, ect. I don't play games. We r homebodies. So at 90, I am not looking to suddenly do these things. If Mom is happy sitting in front of the TV, she has earned that right. Instead of making suggestions, ask if there is something she would like to do. Or say "its really nice today want to go for a ride. Maybe we can stop for a custard" (Custard big thing where I live)

Really, be glad she is content doing what she is doing. There are members whose parents wants them by them all day long.
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I'd respect her wishes. At 90, it's up to her how she spends her time. Let her enjoy the things she enjoys and let her have peace. Not everyone like activities.
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anonymous982783 Nov 2019
I did not make my question clear. I am talking about arts and crafts. She has said I can not get interested in anything.
She still uses her computer. She uses Quickn to balance her checkbook. She is on Facebook follows her grandkids.
I guess her hobby is ordering from QVC.
I asked her yesterday if she was interested in writing her story for her grandchildren. She has problems writing but she can type.
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Hopeful, please if she is not interested in crafts let her be, she is challenging her mind by using the computer. I am 72, I use to do crafts too, I am not interested anymore, my eyes do not cooperate and my patience has waned.

You do not need to be her activity director, let her do what she wants. Living to 90 is a challenge in itself.
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Nope....she doesn't need activities. Be grateful she is content to watch TV and is able use her computer.....that in and of itself tells you her mind is sharp enough to make her own decisions. As you age your mindset changes as well as your desire to do things that once brought pleasure. Let her be.
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