She wants to preserve her small nest egg, I want her to stay in her home. I see the decline and spoke to 2 attorneys who both said with the "5 year look back" there's nothing u can do to preserve anything. That being said, if I want her to remain in her home is it reasonable to think I/we can get that done financially with about 1,500 per month? If not, my understanding is an Assisted Living facility would exhaust her 180,000 of investments, then take the 40,000 or so from the profits of her house after selling her home. Once that 220,000 is gone they won't be able to force her out of that facility. Is that a reasonable assessment of the position she/we are in. Much appreciate this site.
If an ALF or MC is in her future, you need to visit and interview the facilities' directors and ask for what reasons would your mom be evicted? Lack of funds to continue is certainly a common reason.
Whether the attorneys thought that her assets weren't enough to protect, or there wasn't enough time to negate the 5 yr look back period I don't know because there are ways to preserve a person's assets from Medicaid spend down. Early dementia can last for several years during which time, a person may still be able to make rational decisions on his/her behalf. After my wife's diagnosis, we went to our atty and revised our trust and created quit claim deeds with her understanding of what was being done. An irrevocable trust is Medicaid exempt if created 5 yrs before applying for Medicaid, and no one can say how long in the future your mom's need for a facility will be.
I'm not saying this is right for your mom, but I am saying that the 2 attys should have presented asset preservation options to you and not say there's nothing you can do.
In many cases, it simply isn’t possible and I can’t think of anything better to spend her money on, than her care.
Look at it this way. Her best days are behind her as far as traveling, entertainment, buying fancy things, etc. She has lived that part of her life and it’s time to leave it behind.
As we age, we need to simplify our lives and use our funds for practical purposes such as our health care.
What is she concerned about? Leaving her money for her children? Home repairs?
We no longer need larger homes if we aren’t raising children. It’s freeing to downsize.
Life becomes predominantly about our care.
Do you think it would be useful to have the attorney that you spoke to, to explain the situation to her? Or is her cognitive decline too far along for rational thinking?
You have to do what is best for her, that may not be exactly what she wants but she will adjust.
Be there for her throughout her transitioning into a new place in her life.
Most of us will endure changes in our lives. We are survivors and adapt to our new surroundings.
24/7 365 days a year at home is very costly. Only the wealthy can afford that. Even if a person is wealthy it may not be the best environment for them, mentally or physically.
Wishing you and your mother all the best.