She lived an extremely unhealthy sedentary life and now at only 79 she can barely get around. Her home is not elderly friendly at all. The family and dining room drop down from kitchen and are very treacherous. I suggested moving the tv she’s glued to all day into the living room so she doesn’t ever have to risk falling at the drop off. I also suggested we get a small dining table and place it into the living room. She had a fit! Should I just do these things and ignore her? FYI SHE REFUSES TO MOVE TO AN AL.
But to answer the question, no you should not do these things and ignore her. How would you like it if somebody suggested a change in your home, you declined the suggestion, and then they barged in and did it anyway?
Wait until your mother complains of a difficulty, and then suggest a solution. If she never does but instead falls and breaks something, or falls and is stuck on the floor for hours on end (if she won't hear of AL I imagine she has also refused a falls alarm, has she?), the responsibility is hers and not yours. She's an adult. Pay her the respect of allowing her to make her own (daft) decisions.
If your mother is one of those irritating, passive-aggressive types who complain endlessly but then reject all suggested improvements and solutions, you can't win - or not by yourself, at least. But if she won't take advice from you, she still might from a professional. An Occupational Therapist's home visit could be productive; or your local fire service may offer something like a "Safe and Well" check - this will cover not only smoke alarms and safe emergency exits, but more general advice on home hazards. Get allies!
She should probably have safety bars in her tub or shower. You could get railings installed on the stairs to the family and dining rooms.
So what if she pitches a fit? Why are you afraid of her? Time to be the adult and tell her to shut up. Either she gets safety features at home or she goes to a care facility. Simple as that.
She won’t listen to reason, though, so you might as well save your breath. Clue her doctor in and make sure she’s evaluated for cognitive issues. That’s what this looks like to me.
"What a good idea *you* had there.." 🙄