Mom has Dementia and Parkinson's. She is bed ridden and sleeps a lot and eats very little.
She no longer can hold her urine or defecate on her own. She also keeps her eyes closed most of the time now.
Her hands do get fidgety at times.
Today she told me I better get prepared. I asked her for what?
She said the cemetery... I asked her what do you mean?
Mom said you know where you put people when they die.
I asked her why are you telling me this.
She said because you need to prepare yourself..... does she know or think she is dying?
I hope that's not the case. It really hurt hearing her telling me this...
Incontinence is very common. Don't worry about that, just keep her clean.
You may want to check with Parkinson's doctor on fidgety. He or she may be able to adjust medication.
Allow your mother to assist with her burial choices. That is great. You may just want to have a talk and ask her what she wants after death. Good to plan ahead. You both can go meet with funeral directors if you want. Just beware of overselling.
The best you can do is acknowledge what she has said and reassure her that you will be okay (even if you don't feel like you will!) This will help her knowing that you will alright. If she has not made/discussed her funeral arrangements with you, you could use this opportunity to ask her. Once you have taken care of business, then focus on her and you, memories, loved ones, whatever conjures up pleasant moments in your lives. Anytime she brings it up again, reassure her all is well!
The only other suggestion is perhaps looking into hospice. I have not had to go that route yet, but from reading various posts, more often than not they are super helpful for the patient AND the family members affected by the illness/death. Check with her doctor about getting this set up. Also, because not all are alike, rest assured that if you are not happy with how they are dealing with mom or you, there are others you can switch to, until you find a better fit!
Remember the good times with mom!!! Spend as much time as you can with her and focus on pleasant memories made over the years! It might help take her mind off the coming days and will likely help you when that dreaded time arrives, knowing that you made her happy.