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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
When my mom was living with me and her dementia started getting worse, I first hired a cleaning lady since mom could not keep her room and bathroom reasonably clean. I suggest you do this first and mom pays. I also told my mom that this help was for ME, as I couldn't do more than I was already doing. Or that I hated cleaning (TRUTH!) and we needed a helper on that front.
Soon enough, I added a caregiver for a few hours twice a week. Mom didn't like it and didn't understand why but again I said it was for ME and that "I" wasn't comfortable leaving her alone, etc.
So figure out how you want to phrase it (therapeutic lies are in order!) and just do it. Don't ask her, nicely but firmly tell her that way it is going to go. My mom ended up really liking her "ladies" and it was very pleasant and helpful.
Sometimes making the decision that a Loved One is no longer ENTITLED or EQUIPPED to refuse is much MUCH harder on the caregiver than it is on the “careneeder”.
Not only is the caregiver in the unenviable position of having to deny a person who once commanded obedience and respect that they are no longer capable of dealing with their own ongoing care, but in addition, picking up the pieces if the “careneeder” stumbles, figuratively or literally, is one of the hardest and most painful decisions forced on caregivers in early caregiving.
After you’ve had the needs assessment, do the heart to heart with Mom about SAFETY, and if that sinks in, personal care and management.
If she’s in anyway reasonably clear cognitively, you may possibly make some inroads that way.
If she’s dealing with cognitive decline, heres hoping somebody has a POA……
If your mother lives with you, in your home, she doesn't get a choice. If you need help caring for her, she needs to pay for and accept hired help.
If you live with her in HER home, you make arrangements to move so that she can maintain her "independence". Call APS when you leave and report that she is a vulnerable adult living alone.
Have you looked into assisted Living Facilities for her? In old age, there aren't lots of "good" choices, only the least bad ones. Mom needs to bend.
She lives by herself about 5mins away. Thinking my sister and I should just get in home help and deal with her after the fact. Can't be worse then it is now. Thanks for the support.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Soon enough, I added a caregiver for a few hours twice a week. Mom didn't like it and didn't understand why but again I said it was for ME and that "I" wasn't comfortable leaving her alone, etc.
So figure out how you want to phrase it (therapeutic lies are in order!) and just do it. Don't ask her, nicely but firmly tell her that way it is going to go. My mom ended up really liking her "ladies" and it was very pleasant and helpful.
Best of luck.
Not only is the caregiver in the unenviable position of having to deny a person who once commanded obedience and respect that they are no longer capable of dealing with their own ongoing care, but in addition, picking up the pieces if the “careneeder” stumbles, figuratively or literally, is one of the hardest and most painful decisions forced on caregivers in early caregiving.
After you’ve had the needs assessment, do the heart to heart with Mom about SAFETY, and if that sinks in, personal care and management.
If she’s in anyway reasonably clear cognitively, you may possibly make some inroads that way.
If she’s dealing with cognitive decline, heres hoping somebody has a POA……
Call the local Area Agency on Aging and have a professional "needs assessment".
Elders will listen to an RN or SW and not their own kids.
If your mother lives with you, in your home, she doesn't get a choice. If you need help caring for her, she needs to pay for and accept hired help.
If you live with her in HER home, you make arrangements to move so that she can maintain her "independence". Call APS when you leave and report that she is a vulnerable adult living alone.
Have you looked into assisted Living Facilities for her? In old age, there aren't lots of "good" choices, only the least bad ones. Mom needs to bend.