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My mom is 87 years old and currently resides out of state where her sister-in-law takes care of her but can no longer do it due to illness and also my mom is showing beginning symptoms of dementia. I am her only child so this falls on me, I would like to find a place for both us of to live that has disability access for her, she has difficulty walking and uses a cane, walker and wheel chair, I will be in need for someone to care for her during the day while I work and every now and then on weekends, have no clue where to begin, are there any health plans that will cover any of these cost, I am recently divorced and trying to make ends meet and do not have the funds to help her. she does receive Social Sec monthly but is not very much. Are there any aids I can get for her? I live in Winter Park, FL. HELP, any advise will be appretiated.

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Any insurance to cover home health aides would have to haven been purchased years ago. Once you need to have benefits paid out...the insurance company isn't going to sell you the policy.

There really isn't going to be much available to you. Especially in FL...republican control of that state have put heavy burden to keep Medicaid as low as they can.

Can you move? NY, CA, and other states have much better Medicaid in home care programs. None of them are really going to cover very much...but a few hours a week is still better than nothing.
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If Mom needs a walker/wheelchair it is not safe to leave a patient of this age home alone especially if she is becoming cognitively compromised.
You are recently divorced and need to support yourself and provide for your own future. concentrate on finding accommodation in her current location. Start by contacting her local eldercare agency, they should have all the answers. Moving her in with you or you with her is not going to be a permanent and probably only a temporary solution. You may sacrifice your life to care for a much beloved Mom but it means not being able to work so what would the two of you live on, pay the rent, buy food, pay for medical care .all the things you struggle to pay for for yourself multiply by two. it is a tough decision but it is the best future to make for both of you
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1) Go to SS and become her rep-payee for SS funds.
2) And not necessarily in #2 order, start reading voraciously the posts on here relating to the "Should I move my Mom in with me", and "Should I Move in with Mom.
3) Her sister-in-law would be: she is currently living with her brother and SIL?
Ask your Mom's brother if he can place her temporarily until you can figure something out. Or, if he can be her rep-payee or POA while she is placed?

4) There is a steep learning curve, and you have been through a divorce. It is good you came here to this forum.
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PACE is available in some counties in Florida but I don't think it covers your area (Orange, Seminole, Osceola?). There is very limited home help available through a program called SHINE but I don't think you can get more than a few hours a week. In any case, it's contingent (as is PACE) on being found eligible for nursing home placement through Medicaid.

I think your best option would be to apply for Medicaid for a nursing home for your mother. If she can't be left alone and you can't stay with her, and neither of you can afford in home caregivers, there are not many options.

Having said that, there are a couple of businesses that operate locally that can help you find resources and figure out your choices. I will PM you with the names. I haven't used them but they've been recommended to my by my therapist.
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Vima, Can you check back in with your new caregiver friends on here, and provide more information.

Specifically, Are there resources where she is living now, how many are in the home, is their illness temporary, can caregivers be brought in there temporarily, or is it just her sister-in-law living with her.

How soon should she be out?
Who is in charge of her money now?
What is the exact date she receives her SS, and/or SSI?

Are you sure she is ok to be left home alone in the day while you are at work?

That info, if you know it, or can find out, can help the forum members help you.

Is there someone where she is to call and ask these questions?

With SS and SSI, one can figure out the dates Mom receives her benefits. It is online. Accordng to a schedule, matching her birthdate, or is it her last name?
Do you know how she receives this? ---automatic deposits into her checking account? ----A check in the mail?----an account under the control of a "rep-payee?" Find out, on a timely basis because you will need the funds to move her, to help her. If the Sil is ill and has the receipt of the money-that should be changed a.s.a.p.!
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Don't move your mom until you do extensive research. You need to understand her current Medicare insurance and how it works in Florida compared to where she lives now. It might be feasible to hire help for her and her SIL and for her to remain in place or go into a facility where she is established already. You need to visit an elder attorney who is familiar with Medicaid laws in Florida and try to compare that with the state where she now lives. Your mom needs an advocate wherever she lives BUT if you need to work her life has forever changed when she leaves the home she has been living in. If her needs are no longer being met with a room mate they surely won't be met being left alone all day. Medicare pays for home health care in the home in some states. If she does move to your home you can go to the Medicare website and look up home health agencies in your area. They are rated. Pick a couple and call them and ask about the services they offer. They are very limited but can make a big difference. A bath. Her sheets changed. Her meds managed. Her vitals checked on a weekly basis. Therapy in the home for her mobility issues. Blood work or UTI tests done in the home. Don't overstate your ability to care for her. Some gov programs aren't available if you say she is being taken care of by you. You have most likely known that this day was coming and you may not be stopping to consider that there are options that you need to consider for her benefit as well as your own. I'm not suggesting you not care for your mother. I'm just suggesting that you benefit from the collective experience of others. It is not easy. In fact, it is hard even when you know the correct steps. You probably are thinking. I have to take care of my mom. You are also thinking. I have to work. When your mom needs 24/7 care you will need to be 4 people. One for each 8 hour shift and one to work. If there is anyone else or other interests in your life then maybe you'll need to be 5 people. Good luck.
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Send me.....

Social Security will not talk to her. Not until after she goes through their unique process to be designated authorized by them. Even having the POA all neat and legal was not enough for them.

I went through this process. What a nightmare...and it took 8 weeks. Then..social security decided My application was not going to be accepted.....I finally got the family lawyer involved! Good grief.

Best bet with SS? Get all her private info together...including all sorts of info about where she was born, etc. then..pretend to be her. Faster and much simpler.
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Your mom is 87, you should speak to an elder care attorney in Florida if you are moving her to Florida.  Or the state she is living in, if she will remain there. If you are staying in Florida, and want to bring your mom to Florida so you can keep an eye on her care, speak to drs, pharmacys, and make sure she gets clothing, over the counter items, and proper care that would be thoughtful and from my own experience necessary. I visited my mom in a living assisted facility several times a week to make sure she was okay and she had what she needed.  I also did some of her laundry and brought her things she needed. Lawyers usually offer 1 free consultation so you want to make sure you know as much as possible before meeting with them. They are great to use for applying for "Medicaid", it is a difficult process with certain deadlines that lawyers can handle and insure you get benefits.  Every year an evaluation form is required to be filled out or benefits can be lost, you will need to fill them out for your mom or make sure a social worker where she lives fills it out.  Medicaid in some states provide "some" in home care, you need to look into this, it is usually "not" 24 hr care. And I don't think it is 24 hr care in Florida.
 I moved my mom from Florida to NY, and took whatever money she had a spent it down in a living assisted facility that accepted 1 yr paydown, most require 2 yrs. Then she went on Medicaid. The facility kept her in a Medicaid room and she remained there for yrs, at 95 I had to move her to a nursing home for a higher level of care. Some LAF have Dementia units, then she would not have to be moved.   Medicaid covered her room/board and most medical costs, Medicare and her secondary insurance covered allot of costs too. I paid for her shoes, clothing, make-up, eye glasses, over the counter items, etc. The podiatrist to cut her toe nails was covered every 90 days I had to pay to have him come more often. The facility did weekly finger manicures for free. She had an allowance in the LAF of 135.00 a month that helped. Nursing homes the allowance was 35.00 a month.  This was deducted from her social security and left for her to use, the rest went to the facility. From my experience, I had to make sure mom used her money now to pay off her funeral & burial expenses; they need to be irrevocable under Medicaid laws. If she has funeral arrangements in another state than where she will live, you will also have to arrange funeral plans locally so she can be picked up and flown back to where her burial will be, this cost over 4500.00 in 2016. If she has money use it for this and this also needs to be irrevocable according to Medicaid. In order to qualify for Medicaid you have to have less than 2000.00 in the bank, and you have to show 5 yrs of statements, certain receipts, check copies of what her money was spent on. Her banks will give you copies of her statements.  You need to have a Durable POA, Health Care POA, Living Will, Health Care Proxy, and some other forms in place. The Elder Care attorney helps with this, but it must be done in the state she is going to live in. Ask your mom if she has a Will, this is important to have as well. From my experience, you will need to set up a bank account in the state she is living in with automatic deposit of her SS monies.  Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid will request your POA form so you can handle things on behalf of your mom.  I believe, if you place your mom in a facility and sign papers and don't figure out the financials prior they can hold you liable for costs, this is why it is important to speak to an Elder Care Attorney. I believe a new law is being put in place to protect POA's and care givers.  Unfortunately, there is more to do than anyone realizes, not to scare you, but the more you know the better you will be. If she gave away any large sums of money in the 5 yr look back time frame she will be penalized with a longer wait to receive benefits. My mom was very poor so they could have looked back 50 yrs. At 87 her needs will increase and you may not be able to provide them, the reality of it is the fact that you need to recognize this. We all love our parents, with all our hearts, but the system is a difficult one to navigate and unfortunately financially there is little help. I wish I could help you more, my heart goes out to you, as I can relate to what you are experiencing and what the road ahead could be like. Florida is known for being a great state of the elderly in many ways, but some LAFacilities do not take elderly people if they do not have enough for the spend-down, and some won't take people who are on Medicaid, and some do not have nursing facilities connected to them. Nursing Homes accept Medicaid residents if they have room, some have a waiting list, you need to make calls. You need to call a few Living Assisted Facilities and ask if they have a dementia unit and if they accept Medicaid patients, and if they have a spend down requirement. You need to know your mom's medical insurance, benefits, and how much money she has; the elder care attorney will need to know all this prior to your call or consultation. I wish you my best, and hope this helped.
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I have been my 85yo moms caregiver for 10 years and I can explain the process I've gone through. We live in Missouri and I simply moved her in with me. She receives SS, Medicaid and Medicare. The division of senior services is who I went through to get assistance with caregiving while I work. A caregiver comes in M-Sat for about 6 hours. I have a different person that comes on Sundays because the agency doesn't have anyone that wants to work on Sundays. My job I work weekends, so I need help 7 days a week. I pay out of pocket for 4hrs on Sundays. Her medical is covered by Medicaid and Medicare. Her medication is no cost to us, or her doctor visits. I hope this was helpful.
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Did your father, or Mom's husband join the military and serve in an authorized war like WWII or Korea? If so, lots of possible help from VA Aid and Attendance.
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