We started getting in-home care December 21st. Since then, 4 aids have quit because of Mom's aggressive behavior. I was skeptical at first but have seen/heard enough of the episodes to know that Mom really is ramping up the screaming and physical attacks. It catches them off guard because she's very sweet otherwise and only 100 lbs - but it's all sinew.
Anyway, we have to find a way to manage these, or better understand the journey with vascular dementia. We have tried ativan, haldole, klonopin, and seroquel. I don't think any of them helped. You can wipe Mom out with seroquel but that is NOT what I want - though I may not get what I want.
Mom is mostly aware and enjoys engaging with staff, dancing and going to Church. Wiping her out with drugs will remove all the enjoyment she still has. I have read and gone to courses on general alzheimer's aggression/behaviors. We are trying to implement all those tips. Any other ideas?
My husband and I are very anxious about losing our new found help. And I don't see a very bright future for my Mom if we can't make this work. She won't last long in a facility and she won't be happy.
And since the dementia patient has limited or no memory, behavior modification would be futile since the patient forgets whatever the lesson is from minute to minute. I would think that helping their mind be more at peace would result in a more content and less aggressive person.
Mom was in rehab (a nursing home) for 2 months this summer. The facility forced me to take Mom out 'Against Medical Advice' - but rest assured, they forced me to take her out. They were not prepared to care for someone with dementia behaviors. Mom was solid bruises from her elbows and knees down and had a large skin tear when she left there. She also had 4 staples in her head. She has none of those things now and laughs everyday.
I've read a lot of papers. They all say drugs are the last resort and behavioral modifications (of the staff/family) are the first line. No agency or medical personal follow that advice though. It is disappointing.
Anyway, I appreciate your feedback. Apologies for the lack of response. We continue to struggle with the agency. We do have better coverage now and may have a full set of staff for Mom - no back up but at least a full front line for Mom.
BTW, you may find that she does better in a facility than you think she might. Many people have been surprised when their loved one adapted after a few weeks. You don't want to hem yourself in to home care if it becomes too difficult. Sometimes we have to consider other options. Good luck!!