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As stated in my previous posts, I have been my father's primary caregiver since the passing of my mom 21 years ago. I sacrificed and gave up so much to remain in my hometown. My father and I have also had a tense relationship and he has always put me down since I was a child and he still does. Last night, was the last straw. He told me that all of my struggles were my fault. Long story short, he does not seem to understand why I struggle financially. I retired two years ago and one of my main reasons was to be available for him. But I will be going back to work full time this fall and I want to move away. I even told him that I wish I had left years ago to have better opportunities and he said it is too late for me now. If I could afford to move soon, I would but I'm going to try to work towards doing so.

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I was married 20yrs and divorced at 45. I met my Soul Mate by accident a year later, and fell in love and started over again! I never planned it and was pretty bitter about men....yet those was the best years of my life!
We only had 6 years of happiness, remodeled the house, went to Maui 5 times...then he was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer, given a year to live.

At 52, I was alone again and devastated. I met a new group of people and slowly made new friends, and they all still are friends 17 yrs later. I struggled financially, yet by 2018 (at age 64) I paid off all debt, and retired in my paid off house. It was a big comeback!
I was so bored, I got on the local Planning Commission for 2 yrs, then was asked to run for City Council in 2020 (at age 66), entirely financed by clean money donations. I got 6,000 votes and missed winning by only 700.
My 50s were amazing and not what I ever expected!
Don't think your life is over at 52! Whoever tells you that is jealous they aren't 52.
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Hopeforhelp22 Jun 2023
wow - Dawn - your story is so motivational - and of course, inspirational!!
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Good heavens, no!!! I'm 85 and on my way to a new life in a condo when I can get this house sold.

I divorced when I was 60, worked until I was 73 and met someone when I was 71. We are still together looking forward to the future.

The most important thing is to look after your health and look after your finances. I only started saving for my retirement when I was 50 and I am comfortably off now partly due to working so long and building my pension.

You can do it. Yay for you moving away and going back to work. Your father is only saying it's too late to try to keep you there in the same role. He wants to control you. Cut the chains!
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Hopeforhelp22 Jun 2023
What a fantastic story, Golden23...you're truly a success!!
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OMG 50s saw me having breast cancer, moving from LVN to RN with education and starting a whole new relationship which survives happily today in my 80s.

So I sure hope to say it's possible.As the mom repeated in Moonstruck "It ain't over till it's over".

And you aren't starting over unless you died and found out it's all about reincarnation. You don't start over. You continue, and as you go you choose different paths (or not), you learn (or don't), you discard what wasn't working and gather in what will (or you don't).
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I have reinvented myself so many times I am dizzy from pivoting around.

50's is not too old, go for it, don't waste another moment.

Make a plan, and follow through!
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faithfulbeauty - use your father's words to "fuel you" to do bigger and better things...in spite of what he said! When I've come across those in my life who tried to keep me down - or put me down - I knew their insecurities and selfishness caused them to say words that were untrue. So if anything, that was exactly what made me try even harder to prove them wrong!

You will do the same!
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CaringinVA Jun 2023
Yes!! Use it as fuel for your future. Well said!
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Honestly it is not really "starting over" it is Starting. If you have put your life on hold for 21 years you owe it to yourself to begin your life as you should have 20 years ago.
You go girl! Spread those wings and FLY
And do not look back!!!
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"All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time" Mitch Alboom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven.
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That’s the wonderful thing about being an adult, you get to choose what to do. And it’s never too late to change course. In my 50’s I’ve changed jobs to something completely different than anything I’ve ever done before, nothing like what I went to college to do, and am finding it quite enjoyable. I also stopped thinking I owe explanations to others for my decisions, sure which I’d learned that one way earlier. Your dad is being a jerk to you, there’s no excuse for his rude comments, and I hope you won’t listen to even one more of them. Look out for yourself and your own well being, I wish you the best
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Yes!
Never too late 50 or 80 to start over or rather restart our lives post caregiving.
As somebody once wrote we owe to ourselves after caregiving to live the best possible lives. Think big!
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It's never too late to start over. That's the great thing about life! I just hate that you're waiting until fall to get back to work, as the sooner you start, the sooner you can get the heck out of Dodge.
And please no more excuses as to why you can't work/leave. You deserve so much better than what you have put up with the last many years.
I still am not sure that you believe that as if you did, your last sentence wouldn't say, "If I could afford to move soon, I would but I'm going to TRY to work towards doing so." It would instead say that no matter what I am moving out and getting away from this unhealthy situation as I know that I deserve so much better.
There is power in words, so choose yours carefully and intentionally.
God bless you.
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