Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
So sorry you're in this situation. Been there....if you can find a professional to talk to they can help you get the confidence to make changes and walk you through. You are better for your family and self if other arrangements are made for dad. Best of luck. 🙏
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I so I identify with what you are going through, I too was a caregiver. You are at a crossroads and you need to respond and transition to what you are feeling. This may be the best for you and your family.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Sad to hear that, I lost my dad 2 years ago and he also didn`t want to eat or take his meds. I hope you find him a good place so you can go on with your life, it seems you have done it all for him despite his behavior.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

another major reason to rethink taking care of your parent is this: when women are very stressed in pregnancy this can be linked to autism in a newborn. I went through a lot of stress when I was pregnant with my last child and he is autistic. After having severe depression and the stress it took its toll. An autistic child is for life and when we leave someone else has to step in to take care of that adult child. You can still do the correct thing for your Father and you can find a place for him that is safe and okay. Do this for your child if for no other reason.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Take him to your local Emergency Room for one of his ailments and then refuse to take him back with you. Tell them you fear miscarrying due to the demands of being his caregiver. The hospital social worker will have to find him emergency placement and get another county social worker on the case that will find permanent housing for him.

If you are miserable, that can lead to depression. You won't be able to take any medication for that because of your pregnancy. Do you want to become suicidal? Get him out ASAP.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

It may be best to put him in a nursing home, he will have friends who are his age. Your children are watching this interaction. I grew up in a very disfuctional home. Mom was bipolar, there was no help back then, it took years to overcome the abuse! If he put you down, he will also put your kids down. No child should have to live in such misery, and neither should you.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I saw the "100 children" and discounted that to be fantastical.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My FIL was still living on the family farm with his two youngest daughters, one son-in-law and his grandson who had been born earlier in the year. Sister in law had to be away on business for a week and hired aides to be with Dad while away. When she returned both of the aides recommended he be placed in and facility. While Dad had always been mild mannered due to a stroke and some dementia he was starting to become difficult and act out. SIL was advised that if she continued to keep him home and something happened (even by accident) to injure her son that it would be big trouble for them all with Protective Services because she allowed Dad to stay there and put her son in harm’s way.

In other words, if Dad harms the children with any history of abuse you could lose both your children.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Sadsmile - I can relate. Personally, I feel it is more important to tend to yourself and your own family as they will be on this earth much longer than your dad will. You have to look at it this way - his own decisions have lead him to this point, and you can't jeopardize your life, your unborn child's life and your other immediate family members for someone who continues to make bad choices. As they say in parenting - 'pick your battles'. For your own sanity sake, you will need to choose those things that are truly important, (like safety of your family) and let the other things go.
--- Just the opinion of one woman who's been there.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Your upcoming new baby and your daughter are needing you and your attention. Your husband might enjoy some peace in his home.

If it’s at all possible your dad needs to be placed in AL or a retirement community. Was he in the military? Perhaps there are benefits he could receive. You said yourself your dad would be happy smoking dope and hanging out with fellows of the same persuasion. He’s not happy in the current situation and he’s ruining your family’s  home life, so you aren’t happy. Explore all avenues of alternative living that can give everyone peace.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

You need to put yourself first!!!. He has lived his life. He should go to a nursing home so you and your family can get some rest and be able to live your lives
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I agree with most of these answers. Personally, I've had some recent health issues and friends that have passed that has made me resentful and I have evolved into a real hateful person speaking my mind to my husband and kids sometimes being very hurtful. I contribute it to caregiver burnout and feel as if my life is passing, not doing the things we had planned to both leisurely and in my career because I've had this "cross to bear" for the last 12 years. One person told me I need to get over it and deal with it. I was acting bitter and feeling sorry for myself and someone else told me to quit blaming my parent for the way I'm acting. That I'm an adult. Glad you're all here because maybe I am feeling sorry for myself, but at least people on this site can understand.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

You’re pregnant? You should not be doing hands on caregiving as it will endanger you & your unborn child...you can have a miscarriage as a result of it. Find another solution please!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter