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My grandpa is 96-years-old and lives alone in his condo. I am his primary caregiver as his only living child. My mother, lives on a different continent. I am all he has. Recently, he has been falling quite a lot, often times when I am not around. I have personal services workers visit him daily and I come visit every evening.


Do I need to consider him AL or a LTC home? I don't think I am capable of providing him the care that he needs at his age and I don't have any other family members to help me convince him to do the the things that will keep him safe (like using a walker). Please help!

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You live in Canada if I am not mistaken?
If he falls call 911, social worker will come in hospital to talk to you and grandfather. They will advise and assess his mobility, get PT and OT to assess his condo. He might need bars in shower, toilet, removing rugs etc.
It is possible he cannot live independently.
Get home care involved which is free for everybody in Canada.
They have social worker or case workers and if I am not mistaken LTC arranged thru them cost less $2700 per month. They are tremendously helpful.
They arrange services such as day programs, showers if needed, help with exercises, respite, transportation for appointments and many others.
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Don't move in with him. You have gone above and beyond, he needs to be placed , and you can give him care there, visit him and do errands for him.

But you deserve your own life.
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No facility can "make" him stay in a wheelchair as this is considered "restraint" which is abuse. He will just get up and fall, get up and fall, until one fall will be the one that breaks his hip, or worse. This is a common scenario and not much to be done about it.

I agree wholeheartedly with the advice to not move in with him or move him in with you. You will become his 24/7 caregiver and a lot in your life will come to a screeching halt. The next time he falls, do not pick him up. Call 911 and have him transported to the hospital. Then make sure the discharge team knows he's an unsafe discharge. Find a facility for him and have him transitioned directly into it (he might go to "rehab" first but make sure he has a facility to go to after that. It's hard... I'm sorry for this distressing situation.
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Yes, it is. You may want to consider a Board and Care if you can find one. Much more homelike atmosphere, often run by families and often only about 6 people with own rooms and good home cooking. The thing to know and understand is that elders will and do fall and at 96 they often do it with great frequency. A fall CAN and often does spell the beginning of the end (it did for my own mother) but there is little to be done about that. The falls are not often due to weakness or dizziness but due to brain changes that cannot be fixed.
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cover9339 Apr 25, 2024
Oh Alvadeer 😆. If the OP does go the Board and Care route hopefully they'll find one that is "quality over quantity".

Here in Ohio with a program that can help pay for being in one of these residences some ( if not all) try to go for the maximum occupancy which is 16 people ( more people more money). Own room with that many folks? forget about it, ( more like shared rooms with shared bathrooms. Imagine sharing a bathroom with 5 or more people). Home cooked meals? They should, since they'll have to pay their share for food, unless they get SNAP, then all their benefits are pulled together to feed the whole home.
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Someone from AL that you choose will come and assess him and tell you if they are willing to take him in AL . Then you will know if he needs a higher level of care ( SNF ) .

What does his doctor say?
In the US I called the County Area of Aging for a social worker to assess my mother , I could not get Mom to leave her home to go to AL. They were willing to remove her from the home and bring her to an AL that I had chosen .

Can you call a social worker there to help ?

The next time grandpa falls don’t get him up . Call 911 or whatever it is in Canada to get an ambulance to take grandpa to the hospital , then tell them you can’t care for him anymore and he needs to go to a facility. Do not pick him up from the hospital . Do not take him home , even if they tell you it’s temporary . You tell the hospital that it’s an “ unsafe discharge “ for him to go home. Use those words , because they will try to make you take him home . Tell them he lives alone , falls all the time and you can’t take care of him . Do not tell them you live with him or stay with him . Tell them you have to go back to the US to go back to work .
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SorayaAshBha Apr 24, 2024
Thank you so much! We have a social worker - her advice is two fold 1) my grandfather will have to give consent and sign off on his application for the Home. and 2) because of his history of falling they will just keep him in a wheel chair and not allow him to be mobile.
I have a feeling she said this to discourage me...
I am just struggling with the decision.
The alternative is for me to move in with him, and I don't know what good that would do at the end of the day.
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