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To all of you Thank you for your honest answers.. I feel so guilty because I do think about NH ...and I know this alzheimers will only get worse ....but you all make me feel better....
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Auntie is past the point of AL but financally not able to aford NH but maybe just a bit above poverty level for public aide ...I did get her on Hospice that helps a little and now we are trying a new med Haladol for the delusions Also I bought a monitor with a camera ya are all right Im really stressed but...if it comes down to it i will be able to get respite care for her ....does any body know anything about respite care? Through hospice?
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Ditto to what everyone else said. You can’t do it all.
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I think you have done enough. By your profile you have Mom too. Think its time for Aunt to go to an AL if she (not you) can afford it. If she can't afford it, start looking into nice NHs that will take Medicaid. When you have found one, then start the Medicaid application. Her desease is only going to get worse.

With Mom, you may want to set some boundries. As my SIL says to my brother, I am not your Mom. With you, I am not Dad. Tell her with care of Aunt, you can't do it all.
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There’s no one person who can keep up with this level of care 24/7. It’s abusive to you. The only ideas are that your aunt go live in a place where she gets professional care, and will be safe and cared for or that you get additional caregivers to help you in the home. As the situation is you’re likely to develop health issues that could cause you to pass away before your aunt, please take this seriously and change the situation.
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Hi, Lorraine. I'm so sorry for your situation. I'm afraid I don't see how any "ideas" could help a set-up that sounds completely unsustainable (i.e., one person, that person's need for sleep, 24/7 care, dementia. which gets worse and worse).

Is there a reason why your aunt can't be placed in a facility?
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