Each VA check received in her checking account is immediately sent to her nursing home in entirety, after she was moved to a different nursing home which had Medicaid beds. She was qualified after they did a 5 yr look back. VA has now indicated I should have notified them when she qualified for Medicaid. I was unaware assuming the Nursing Home would have either instructed me or notified VA. All VA funds received have gone to the Nursing Home, bank statements can verify.
The good news is that you know exactly where all the money has come from and where it's been paid to, with dates of all transactions. So although this may be a tedious and time-consuming pain, at least it's not like you've lost the money or given it to disreputable persons - any sums for which you are liable, you will be able to get back.
As payee, yes you can be held responsible.
Was she on Medicaid at the first home? If not, then you are safe there. If she was, then the month she started, the home was not entitled to the check and her VA money should not be included in Medicaid calculations since u can't receive both. The home needs to pay that money back to you.
If she was on Medicaid from the beginning with second home, they should not have excepted a VA payment. Can't receive VA and Medicaid. The money needs to be refunded.
If a refund is made, that money goes back to the VA. If you have any problems call the local VA office and talk to the Rep there.
If u haven't done it, have the NH become payee for Moms SS and any pension. This makes them responsible.
I would think that VA and Medicaid would work together with you to get this straightened out. Don't hold your breath on that one.