Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
1 2 3 4
OMG Yes, I am sick of elderly topics!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
NY, Segoline is cracking me up with the poop stories. As I have said on this thread, every single day I have to discuss poop! After a while it gets to you. Haha. They bring up the topic before breakfast, lunch and dinner! I lose my appetite!
(5)
Report
Need help, I can laugh now. But man! I said.,mom, now is Not the time, we should discuss later. Oh no, The details got more graphic. And the selfie Brigade quickly dispersed. But God Almighty.

If there is a God please strike me down like immediately. I will spare you the detail. But marketing peep, well dressed and coifed was wretching.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Segoline,

Thanks for the comic relief. Now I am giggling even more imagining what she said! 😂 haha

Is it such a major topic for the elderly!
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
You have to laugh and cry simultaneously.,last summer, I took my mom to various assisted living places. And i quickly came to conclusion we needed a MUCH HIGHER LEVEL IF CARE. Here we are at swanky place, with. CHEF. ( we have all been there. CHEF comes to table. All chef assistants. Marketing peeps and under peeps. Selfies!!)

So here we are with marketing director post selfie infusion ( read up selling) and my mom served lovely dinner. Which of course She bypassed mostly just diving for dessert. She starts eating with her hands and discussing her bowel movements for last month. In great detail. I went home and called my sister. We need to activate plan b. Let me tell you about today.....

Let it be noted, I refrained from the selfie b.s.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
segoline, I’m 😂 cracking up! I am sure it was embarrassing at the time. One of those things we look back and laugh though.

I hope I never get that way. Please God, don’t let me obsess over poop!
(5)
Report
See 4 more replies
I have to tell you that an older lady that I would occasionally give rides to actually announced to me before getting into my car, “I didn’t feel like changing my diaper. It is as heavy as lead filled with pee. I wear black pants so the pee doesn’t show. Do you have a plastic bag for me to sit on?” I had leather seats in that car so I said it was okay. Now I have a new car with cloth seats and refuse to give her rides anymore. Others who have given her rides said it took them forever to get rid of the urine smell in their car. Sad!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Shell38314 Mar 2019
I guess, you were the smart one! Hahaha
I will have to remember don't give old ladies a ride when diaper is full! WOW!!!
(4)
Report
See 4 more replies
CM,

New title just for you, 🤣 haha It is now going to be called, Poop Talk! Or Bowel and Bladder! Pee and poo! Day and night from my mom!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
disgustedtoo Apr 2019
I'll vote for "Poop Talk"....

Or "On the Poop Deck"...

"Pee and Back Again" (think Hobbits!)

"Back to the Toilet"

Or just "Twilight Zone"...
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
Question: Why do you need to announce that you went to the bathroom and had a 'good bowel movement' when the bathroom stinks so BAD that everyone can smell it? And no "Good morning" here - the minute she's out of bed, it's 'this hurts and that hurts'....
Had a friend in college whose mother in law would take her teeth out at the table as soon as she finished eating
( I don't think her marriage lasted very long, if I remember....)
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Yep. I can relate. Poop is such a big deal with the elderly!
(4)
Report
See 2 more replies
CM,

Can’t edit title, sorry. Keep in mind we are stressed caregivers when writing these things. LOL. It’s not that bad of a title.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I wonder if you turned the tables on her and started initiating the talkie she would eventually get bored. As soon as she starts to talk about her poop problems you start telling her about yours (made up of course) the more outrageous the better. If you can keep it up for awhile she just might see what's going on and back off. She might not but it might just offer a bit of comic relief for you. I don't have that problem with my mom but her problem is her finances. She freaks out over the slightest expenditure and thinks she is going to be "in the poorhouse" - she's not. She is not wealthy per se but she is very comfortable. When she starts that droning on I just tell her about my bills or start talking about third world countries. She finally admits that she is not THAT bad off. I feel for you because sometimes you want to scream that there is more to life than this, and there is. Take care of yourself and try to get as much outside stimulation as you can to help your sanity.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Haha, that’s interesting. See what you mean. My mom freaks about money too. Depression era thing for her generation.
(4)
Report
See 2 more replies
I think my husband probably feels this way about my conversations about his mother. His mom pretends nothing is wrong, and she doesn't need any care, can take care of herself (as she sits in a puddle of her own feces). So, seeing your flipside problem gives me perspective. Maybe you'll feel likewise.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Yeah, just feel like my brain is turning to mush! No normal conversations.
(2)
Report
My mom died in 2003 of cancer. For the next 10 years my father insisted he had every form of cancer imaginable. We would go to lunch and he would literally bring up the cancer topic within 45 seconds of sitting down. If he burped...it must be cancer! If he farted...it must be cancer!!! Drive me nuts.

Now all he talks about is his bowel movements. I so wish we were back on the cancer subject. I no longer take him to restaurants because he would loudly announce his bowel movements or even worse....check his catheter bag in public to see how much pee was in it. At Christmas he needed my help to empty the bag and didn't understand why I insisted we do this in the bathroom. He wanted me to empty it right in front of everyone in the family room. It took two of us to assist him in the bathroom when he wanted to poop. That is more than I am willing to do or ask someone to help with. I will not be able to take him out of assisted living anymore for visits. Don't even get me started on his obsession with laxatives. If we aren't talking bodily functions he has nothing to say. Isn't interested is other people or their lives, just his own.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Oh my gosh, awful! My husband’s grandma was exactly like your dad. It is embarrassing in restaurants.

My mom has Parkinson’s and does what you say, blames every single thing on Parkinson’s. So at her neurologist appointments I would ask him if these things were related and when he would say they were not related she still said they were. Loosing battle, isn’t it?
(3)
Report
See 2 more replies
I keep giggling about this, Need, seeing your thread in the topics column:

"I'm so sick of hearing about elderly topics!" Anyone who didn't know what you meant might wonder if AgingCare was perhaps not your best choice of forum.

But yes of course I do know and remember exactly how you feel. Continence care, skin integrity, curling your lip at the daily headlines promising ALZHEIMERS BREAKTHROUGH, waiting rooms, ugly adaptive furniture, grab rails along your lovely hallways, the 'oh God what the heck is she up to now?' new dementia symptoms ... It gets just as wearing and just as claustrophobic as the worst of the baby years.
Helpful Answer (14)
Report
Sendhelp Mar 2019
Getting giggles here too CM.
(3)
Report
See 4 more replies
LOL!

I don’t get the poop conversations but I’ve sure heard a 2-year long tale of woe, suffering and how I just gotta understand how hard it all is.

I don’t have the patience any more. My body sent up another red-flag in the form of PVC’s (benign extra heartbeats that are a lot like hiccups) that I’m too stressed. Meanwhile, if I don’t call him on the way home from work my phone rings at 5:15 so we can have the same conversation we’ve had 126 times before. I’ve counted!

I’d do just about anything to get him to go out with some different people but he doesn’t want to be around old people.

I’m really not in a place where I can take a long vacation, due to work, but I need to.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
We all need long vacations!!!
(8)
Report
See 1 more reply
I have found fabulous support in this forum. Waters I could not navigate on my own. But quite honestly, I periodically have to take a break. I try to help where I can. Hush where I should ( need to work on); and listen and read. I lurked here for Quite awhile prior to, posting. This is an amazing resource and I am so thankful for it. But it gets to me. All of the topics. All of the heartbreak shared here. I am in great admiration of all of you. And very thankful I found this forum.
Helpful Answer (12)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Thanks Segoline. We enjoy hearing from you too!
(1)
Report
Take a break, you need a break Needhelpwithmom.

Try threads such as:

What's for dinner?"
"Caregiver Cats behaving Badly"
"My favorite things".
"General Topics"
"Jokes Needed"
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
I will, Sendhelp. Thanks.
(2)
Report
I totally feel your pain. I don't get many poop discussions, THANKFULLY. Ewwww. Who wants to hear that? Not me.

So many boring boring conversations. I am at my wits end. Plus it seems like she's getting more frustrated and angry and practically delusional. She thinks she can do things physically that there's just no way. I'm thinking - WHAT??? Are you joking?

The repetition of conversation is so very mind numbing. I can barely stand it.

How, how, how do you keep your sanity? I have to force myself to chat lately. And she is with it enough to pick up on my frustration which is sad but I'm just failing right now.

Annoying when they seem to complain and/or object to seemingly everything. My mom seems to always take the other side of every issue. If I say X is annoying, she says it's not, etc.

OK, I'm hoping that at least part of this is that we were traveling together for the last 7 weeks and that was WAY too much togetherness. She likes to escape to warmer climes, but I think I'm going to have be done, for my sanity. Sure, nice to be in FL in Feb/Mar but at what price.

Needhelpwithmom - how do you deal with it??
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
I agree with playing devil’s advocate! My mom does that constantly and it drives me insane.

If I ignore it, she will bring up the topic over and over. So I walk away. Still doesn’t help, haha. She will still bring it up. I’m telling you my mom is the one who taught me to be a nonconformist. She should no better than to challenge me! Haha.

My mom also says she will do more than she can at times. Eh, I think that is part of a guilt trip to get me to do it.
(4)
Report
See 2 more replies
Years ago driving truck 230AM eating spaghetti in a 24 hour cafe:
Old geezer talking loud, like they do, about having 12 feet of his colon removed:
I finally put my half finished plate on his table and said,” I give up, you eat it!”
Helpful Answer (18)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
qmnpxl,

Geeeez, sounds like my husband’s grandma. She used to talk about her bowels when I took her out to eat. I learned never to ask her how she was feeling before eating!
(3)
Report
See 4 more replies
My mom used to say "You're going to miss me when I'm gone." She was right.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Shad,

She was right. Somehow I couldn’t say that to my kids. I feel it would make me feel like I was laying a guilt trip on them. Last thing I would want to do to them. Even if the statement was true about missing someone.
(9)
Report
See 2 more replies
Sorry, but I kind of wish my mom was still around to talk about pee and how she poo-ed so much it “filled the toilet bowl” or how her room in a Cleveland.nursing home was really an apartment in Chicago. Sometimes I miss her so much I feel like I have cinder blocks on my chest...
Helpful Answer (10)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
I get that. I really do. Sorry for the loss of your mom. I know I will miss my mom too. Just gets to be a bit much at times.
(7)
Report
See 5 more replies
Well with my mom its either her pain, the dang news or the cooking channel.. so I guess that beats poop...
Helpful Answer (9)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Panz,

Yes, the pain is a big topic! That breaks my heart. I feel my chest getting tight because I hate that her knees hurt and of course at 93 she can't do knee surgery or any other surgery at this point. Shoulder issues too. Pain is awful for them. Doctor said Aspercreme. Not sure how much that really helps though. She says she can feel the bone on bone thing in her knees and has very limited range of motion with her shoulder issue.
(5)
Report
See 5 more replies
Same here. It’s either I can’t do a poo or I just did a poo. Men are worse All our married life he though it was super serious if he had not opened his bowels at least three times a day
i find as I get older that all people want to talk about. Their aches and pains. Stomach and bowels
i just cut them off and say “if this is going to be about your bowels I don’t want to know”
Helpful Answer (13)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Panda,

Poo is a huge topic in my house! Geeeez, I never knew I would hear so much about poo, just crazy!
(4)
Report
See 2 more replies
My mother thinks she is a brilliant and incisive political commentator.
The horror--
The horror--
Helpful Answer (17)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Oh my gosh, haha. That is my brother! I can't stand it. People do get crazy with religion and politics, don't they? Ever wonder what God thinks of the idiots that are here on earth? I do. It's a good thing He has mercy! haha
(4)
Report
See 6 more replies
tacy,

Did he see your earbuds? That's funny.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mother's topic is old western movies that I don't like and care nothing about, but she stays up all night watching them just so she can tell me all about the movie and actors. ugh:( Worst part is we have Video-on-demand so she has a lot of western movies to watch and she will watch a few of them over and over and tell me the same thing over and over! 😕

I feel your pain!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019
Shell,

Haha, My mom it's The Young and the Restless! Oh my gosh, anything and everything happens on those soaps! My grandma used to listen to The Guiding Light on the radio before it was televised. Too funny!

My grandfather watched the old westerns. Gotta say, Clint Eastwood in those old westerns was so good looking! Saw him years ago when we went to Hog's Breath Inn in Carmel, CA. Wanted to eat at his place while vacationing there and he was hanging out by the bar, very laid back in jeans and a t-shirt. My God, that was so long ago, my traveling days! I didn't even have kids then. My husband traveled so much for work and back then the airlines were very competitive and gave great promos. He traveled internationally quite often and he racked up enough points for us to fly first class. Those days are gone!
(3)
Report
See 1 more reply
1 2 3 4
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter