I found out today that my Mom (88 and ambulatory), who is currently hospitalized, will continue to need a Foley catheter when she is discharged. I have done some some research on what is involved in this process.
I am going to the hospital tomorrow to learn this procedure. I am already sickened by the thought of it. I don't know how to handle medical equipment and I am very unsettled by the whole idea. My mother tends to smell "down there," and I'd rather do just about anything but this.
I am not a natural-born nurse. I never had children, so I haven't even changed a diaper. I am also curious as to how my Mom will respond my doing this, or how I let her and the staff know I REALLY don't think I can (or want to do this.) Just thinking about it makes me shake my head.
I have been helping Mom out with other things, but this?
You are basically going to empty it about three times a day as needed; not hard at all.
NOW, IF they are talking in and out catheterization (some men do this themselves) I would refuse to do it. It would have to be done often, is almost impossible to tell when the bladder is distended and it is needed without having access to ultrasound machine. It makes for MUCH MORE certainty of infection. Moreover, it is, to this nurse's mind, too intimate to do to one's own Mom. (I said I was and OLD nurse, but I would not want to do this on my own.
My advice to you is to go and see what this is about and if it is too much for you to tell them NO. They will say there is no other way than for you to do this. Repeat slowly as needed "N-O". And then take it from there.
You may be seeing the day coming when Mom needs more than inhome care. Why are they placing an indwelling catheter? It is rare. They often prefer incontinence because of the risk of infection.
I hope you will update us. As I said, I am an old nurse; I would NOT have wanted to do this for my Mom. It is much much more intimate than just washing her. This is legs spread. Hard to do in a low bed, a STERILE procedure in which contamination occurs if the tip of the cath hits skin or mucous membrane. Not easy and WAY intimate. Even learning to don sterile gloves is not easy. And your hands and catheter, which is long and wiggly, must stay sterile. Urethras also vary a bit, aren't always easy to identify. You will see new nurses trying to poke catheters in any number of "wrong " places. It amazes me what medicine expects us to do at home now.
I don't want to scare you. But I want you to be prepared to say "NO, I am sorry; I will NOT be doing this. What is plan B" if you need to.
I wish you the very best of luck. Let us know how this goes for you.
My Mom broke her shoulder and we took her to the ER. When put in a cubicle the RN thru a gown at me and said "dress her". I told her I was not comfortable doing that because Mom had a broken arm and "she" was the nurse. She said "yes, I am the nurse" and did it. Another time a dr wanted urine sample from Mom but expected me to do it. I said no that I was not getting down on my knees in his tiny little bathroom to try and get my Mom to go in a little cup. I have a hard time doing it for myself. Told him to give me the stuff and my RN daughter would do it at home. He agreed and she did, grudgingly. When Mom was in the AL, if she had an accident, I called the aide. Paying big bucks to live there, they can do the dirty work.
So if this is more than emptying the bag and ur uncomfortable doing it, speak up. They can order "in home" care.
But for relatives? I have already had to say NO to this loud & clear too. I suggested the 'witch hat' & may have considered helping with this (just pour into bottle after, no catching required) but as the patient took zero responsibility to try to suggest this/arrange this/do anything for their own problem, I declined fully. I believe a home health nurse had to attend instead.
You can't. It's an unfair burden to caregivers to risk their (mental/emotional or physical) health with care they are not able to provide. You're human. You don't need to give them any excuse. It's not possible. They try to burden us with this stuff. Not okay. Sending hugs and hope.
When she has a bowel movement some stool can get on the catheter and travel into her bladder. Catheters can be VERY dangerous.
Unless there is a good medical reason for the catheter--your doctor should order to take it out.
With her weight, age, BP (she takes meds, but it still tends to run high), dementia, unable to ambulate, toilet, bathe, etc without major help, she is likely a candidate for additional strokes. But, they consider her stable. SMDH.
Or is this an 'in/out' catheter to be inserted manually each time to drain?
Or a permanent suprapubic catheter? If so, the tube comes out of the abdomin instead. Not too icky.
Go along for training if you want. Find out what's actually required.
But remember - you can say no!
Ask, if I say no, what's the plan?
If you find you cannot manage going forward arrange for a carer who can come in and do the necessary. I have sympathy with your position as I refused to do personal care for my elderly mother it just turned my stomach - but we found a carer who came in just for an hour for the purpose when necessary. You'll find a way to deal with it.
Be honest w/hospital staff so they very clearly understand that you can or cannot do this. Once you get her home, you could be on your own for several or many days. Just because they tell you they will arrange help for you does NOT mean it will happen...or when it will happen. Trust me on that.
If you cannot do it - then tell her it would be dangerous to her health to send her home. Make that clear to them too. And go see the hospital social worker or case management person.
See All Answers