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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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As an adult child who quit her job and moved in with her mother after her father died, I advise you NOT TO QUIT YOUR JOB & NOT MOVE in with your parents.
You state that your parents have mobility problems--as they get older, your parents will also develop mental, emotional and psychological problems. Is their home currently handicap accessible? How much assistance do your parents currently need to complete their ADLs (Activities of Daily Living, such as getting dressed, bathing, feeding oneself, walking, etc.) and Ancillary or Independent Activities of Daily Living--IDLs (such as writing checks, paying bills, shopping, driving a car, making decisions about hiring someone to mow the lawn or fix the house)? If they need physical assistance, are you strong enough to be able to transfer your father or mother from a chair to a bed or toilet by yourself?
Are you prepared to give 24hours/7 days a week/365 days a year concentrating on your parents' needs and wants and rarely being able to spend any time on your own needs and wants (unless your parents give you permission to do so and if their health is such that you can leave them alone for a few hours)? Are you prepared to sleep with one eye and one ear open are all times? Are you prepared to have your decisions questioned (even after you and your parents have agreed on the same decision)? Are you prepared to not be able to go on vacation whenever you want to?
Do you have enough money in your own savings account and mutual funds to be able to pay for your own health insurance (and car insurance and life insurance, etc.) for how ever long you live with your parents? [If you do not have a job, you will NOT qualify for the current Affordable Care Act tax breaks as you have NO INCOME. So you could end up paying $1,000+/month for health insurance.] Do you currently have a job that you have to go to a "brick & mortar" building to do or can you perform your current job using your laptop? How will you stay up-to-date in your current field of employment if you are not employed? The longer you are NOT employed the less likely someone will be to hire you.
As Ahmijoy mentioned, you will need to sign a employment contract if you live with your parents and take care of them. How much monetary assets do your parents have? If they had to go to a assisted living or long term care facility today, do your parents have enough money to pay for their own care for several months years or will they have to apply for Medicaid? If you live with your parents and don't sign a contract to care for them, any money they give you might be considered as a "gift" by Medicaid and might be counted against their 5-year "look-back" period.
The first 7 years that I lived with my Mom were "good" years as Mom could take care of herself and we got along fairly well and occasionally had disagreements. In July 2015, Mom changed and she started to question everything I did --even if she and I had spent 2-3 hours sitting together making decisions about how to pay bills, etc. She started to have "small" delusions, I had to change from sleeping in the basement to sleeping on the same level as she did and I had to get up every time she got up (Q 2-3 hours) as she was unsteady on her feet. I couldn't leave town for a vacation as she would not allow me to do so (even overnight visits were " forbidden"). In May 2017, my Mom was hospitalized and then she transferred to a long term care facility. She is now residing in their Memory Care Unit and requires a wheelchair and mechanical lift for all transfers. I could never have given her the quality of care at home that she is getting now.
Before you make any final decision to move in with your parents, you need to sit down and list all of the Pros and Cons of living with your parents--financial, emotional, mental, physical and psychological. Read some of the posts on this website to see what others have had to deal with as their parents got older and needed more and more care.
Please think realistically about what your parents future needs might be and what your ability to care for them might be before moving in with them. There are so many other options that might be just as good --or even better-- then moving in with your parents.
DeeAnna, I couldn't have said it any better myself! DON'T DO IT, if at all possible!!!!!
We took in my FIL after he lost his wife of 50 years, and it was the worst possible mistake of our lives! No matter how much you Love them, I recommend that you do everything and Anything possible to get them the in home (or placement) services they need, that will allow you to maintain your own independence!
There are Many stories on here of folks (like us), who did just that and then regretted it, only having to try their darnedest to try to unravel at least Some semblance of normalcy to their lives, by getting their parents into Assisted Living, or the nesassary services in place to save themselves, all too often at the demise of their marriages, their finances, and their future abilities to have sufficient retirement income. We thankfully survived all 3, but barely!
Please read up as much as you can on here, before moving forward with any irreversible decisions, and good luck!
The answer is, probably not. The only way you can get compensated is to draw up an employment contract with your parents and possibly an Elder Law Attorney and be paid from their own finances. I’ve not heard of anyone receiving enough money from any government funds to actually live on. And, there no health insurance coverage and no retirement fund.
If your parents need 24/7 Care, perhaps you could consider a skilled nursing facility or assisted or independent living for them. This way they could apply for Medicaid if they qualify and you could keep your job.
Tishontrike, here are some things to think about if one is trying to decide whether to quit work to care for an aging parent.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose, over the years, between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes not only loss of salary over those years... it also includes the net worth loss of the health insurance coverage....
loss of money being put into Social Security/Medicare..... loss of other benefits, if they are part of your employment, such as matching 401(k).... profit sharing.... workman's comp insurance.... company sponsored life insurance.... vacation pay, sick pay.... tuition assistance, etc. [source: in part Reuters 5/30/12]
I know you love your parents and have good intentions. But DeeAnna said it best. I honestly wished I had read her reply before I decided to care for my dad at home after his stroke. I had been living with my dad and managing the bills and taking care of the house, buying groceries, but things escalated after the stroke. All of a sudden managing all the doctor appointments, the medications, the meals, the follow up with dentist, the optometrist, the mood swings, it was all too much.
I kept my job but it was hard. My father passed 19 months ago and honestly, having my job is the only thing that has saved me. When you commit all your time to your parents care you fail to realize how empty you feel once they are gone. Having my job has given me a reason to leave the house and the structure I need.
Do what you think is best, but really consider all the points DeeAnna said.
Quitting your job is a paid idea unless your parents can afford to pay you the same wage if not more plus the cost of your insurance. Some states have in home support services programs that will pay you for caregiving but your parents have to qualify for it, its not meant for people to stay home and take care of their elders, it’s a needs-based program intended to keep people at hone instead in nursing homes. You won’t be paid for 24/7 caregiving either. Most programs pay minimum wage and the hours paid would be whatever your parent is eligible, probably 20 hours a week.
Tishontrike, I suggest that you calculate your future monetary losses for 5 years and for 10 years based on financial information given by freqflyer (as that is how long your parents could live). I think that you will be surprised just how much money you will be giving up if you quit your job when you go live with your parents. (Especially if you are under age 55 now.) [I have been living with my Mom for 10 years (that's how many years I have NOT had an income) and will be eligible for Social Security this year--that should tell you how old I am--and my Mom is 87 years old now.]
I love my Mom very much just like you love your parents. But I never really considered everything that I would be giving up when I moved in with her. If I had to do it all over again, would I move in with her? I don't know.
Mom has said repeatedly that by living with her, I kept her out of assisted living facilities for 3-4 years. But was it worth it? The physical, emotional, mental, psychological and financial strain that I have endured over the past 10 years has aged me so much that my own health has suffered.
You owe it to your parents and to yourself to be as well informed as possible before you make any decisions and to make sure that those decisions are in the BEST interest of everyone involved. Good Luck and God Bless.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You state that your parents have mobility problems--as they get older, your parents will also develop mental, emotional and psychological problems. Is their home currently handicap accessible? How much assistance do your parents currently need to complete their ADLs (Activities of Daily Living, such as getting dressed, bathing, feeding oneself, walking, etc.) and Ancillary or Independent Activities of Daily Living--IDLs (such as writing checks, paying bills, shopping, driving a car, making decisions about hiring someone to mow the lawn or fix the house)? If they need physical assistance, are you strong enough to be able to transfer your father or mother from a chair to a bed or toilet by yourself?
Are you prepared to give 24hours/7 days a week/365 days a year concentrating on your parents' needs and wants and rarely being able to spend any time on your own needs and wants (unless your parents give you permission to do so and if their health is such that you can leave them alone for a few hours)? Are you prepared to sleep with one eye and one ear open are all times? Are you prepared to have your decisions questioned (even after you and your parents have agreed on the same decision)? Are you prepared to not be able to go on vacation whenever you want to?
Do you have enough money in your own savings account and mutual funds to be able to pay for your own health insurance (and car insurance and life insurance, etc.) for how ever long you live with your parents? [If you do not have a job, you will NOT qualify for the current Affordable Care Act tax breaks as you have NO INCOME. So you could end up paying $1,000+/month for health insurance.] Do you currently have a job that you have to go to a "brick & mortar" building to do or can you perform your current job using your laptop? How will you stay up-to-date in your current field of employment if you are not employed? The longer you are NOT employed the less likely someone will be to hire you.
As Ahmijoy mentioned, you will need to sign a employment contract if you live with your parents and take care of them. How much monetary assets do your parents have? If they had to go to a assisted living or long term care facility today, do your parents have enough money to pay for their own care for several months years or will they have to apply for Medicaid? If you live with your parents and don't sign a contract to care for them, any money they give you might be considered as a "gift" by Medicaid and might be counted against their 5-year "look-back" period.
The first 7 years that I lived with my Mom were "good" years as Mom could take care of herself and we got along fairly well and occasionally had disagreements. In July 2015, Mom changed and she started to question everything I did --even if she and I had spent 2-3 hours sitting together making decisions about how to pay bills, etc. She started to have "small" delusions, I had to change from sleeping in the basement to sleeping on the same level as she did and I had to get up every time she got up (Q 2-3 hours) as she was unsteady on her feet. I couldn't leave town for a vacation as she would not allow me to do so (even overnight visits were " forbidden"). In May 2017, my Mom was hospitalized and then she transferred to a long term care facility. She is now residing in their Memory Care Unit and requires a wheelchair and mechanical lift for all transfers. I could never have given her the quality of care at home that she is getting now.
Before you make any final decision to move in with your parents, you need to sit down and list all of the Pros and Cons of living with your parents--financial, emotional, mental, physical and psychological. Read some of the posts on this website to see what others have had to deal with as their parents got older and needed more and more care.
Please think realistically about what your parents future needs might be and what your ability to care for them might be before moving in with them. There are so many other options that might be just as good --or even better-- then moving in with your parents.
We took in my FIL after he lost his wife of 50 years, and it was the worst possible mistake of our lives! No matter how much you Love them, I recommend that you do everything and Anything possible to get them the in home (or placement) services they need, that will allow you to maintain your own independence!
There are Many stories on here of folks (like us), who did just that and then regretted it, only having to try their darnedest to try to unravel at least Some semblance of normalcy to their lives, by getting their parents into Assisted Living, or the nesassary services in place to save themselves, all too often at the demise of their marriages, their finances, and their future abilities to have sufficient retirement income. We thankfully survived all 3, but barely!
Please read up as much as you can on here, before moving forward with any irreversible decisions, and good luck!
If your parents need 24/7 Care, perhaps you could consider a skilled nursing facility or assisted or independent living for them. This way they could apply for Medicaid if they qualify and you could keep your job.
Do you want to?
Do you need a place to live?
Is it because they need care? Do you have special qualifications as a caregiver?
Have their needs been professionally assessed to say what their needs are?
loss of money being put into Social Security/Medicare..... loss of other benefits, if they are part of your employment, such as matching 401(k).... profit sharing.... workman's comp insurance.... company sponsored life insurance.... vacation pay, sick pay.... tuition assistance, etc. [source: in part Reuters 5/30/12]
I know you love your parents and have good intentions. But DeeAnna said it best. I honestly wished I had read her reply before I decided to care for my dad at home after his stroke. I had been living with my dad and managing the bills and taking care of the house, buying groceries, but things escalated after the stroke. All of a sudden managing all the doctor appointments, the medications, the meals, the follow up with dentist, the optometrist, the mood swings, it was all too much.
I kept my job but it was hard. My father passed 19 months ago and honestly, having my job is the only thing that has saved me. When you commit all your time to your parents care you fail to realize how empty you feel once they are gone. Having my job has given me a reason to leave the house and the structure I need.
Do what you think is best, but really consider all the points DeeAnna said.
I love my Mom very much just like you love your parents. But I never really considered everything that I would be giving up when I moved in with her. If I had to do it all over again, would I move in with her? I don't know.
Mom has said repeatedly that by living with her, I kept her out of assisted living facilities for 3-4 years. But was it worth it? The physical, emotional, mental, psychological and financial strain that I have endured over the past 10 years has aged me so much that my own health has suffered.
You owe it to your parents and to yourself to be as well informed as possible before you make any decisions and to make sure that those decisions are in the BEST interest of everyone involved. Good Luck and God Bless.