Last year my husband suffered a stroke and lost more than 25% of his ft brain. He moved his mom in with us 5 years ago and not by my choice. We almost were divorced over it. We moved into another home for her and he worked like a dog to pay for everything. When his stroke hit we lost all our income and then just like that I was caring for him and FORCED to care for her. Changing 2 adult diapers. I was advised multiple times that I needed to call SS or call an ambulance to come get her. Finally one day realising I could no longer pay for food ( I can't work due to having to be home 24/7 ) Having my boy cry cause he was hungry that I just could no longer do this. She was sick and needed care and we called an ambulance. They wanted to send her home 3 days later and I removed myself from any correspondence regarding her. I have my husband talk to anyone and explain that I was NEVER her caregiver I only helped and that he could not take care of her and that his brother needed to step in, who is single no children and able. I AM SCARED out of my mind that something terrible is going to happen to us. That the hospital or SS will MAKE me take her back. I just can't! I have to get a job, she's not my mom. I have children. My husband will be going to a SNF soon for awhile while if not permanently. Do I have any responsibility to this woman according to the law?
NO One can make you take your mother in law back unless you let them. A spouse nor his wife can be held legally responsible for caring for an adult for whom they do not have legal guardianship, not even a POA. Just because you called an ambulance does not mean that they can discharge her into your care. Use the words “unsafe discharge“ to get your point across. Hospitals cannot just put people in cabs and send them back to wherever they came from but some hospitals do it if they think they can get away with taking advantage of people who don’t understand their rights. Tell the hospital you will NOT take her back into your home under any circumstances and explain why and that if they do so, it’s an unsafe discharge and you will call law enforcement to help you if necessary. Tell them to instead call her relatives and/or Adult Protective Services (Office of Public Welfare) in your state.They will act grudgingly but they have no legal choice. They will contact you and try to shoehorn her back into your home if they can. Explain your situation, tell them you will not allow it and be on guard that they may make a finding of neglect against you. If they do, appeal it. You don’t want that on your record in case you need a background check for a job. Give them the names, addresses and contact information of all the other relatives and let them contact them while your mother in law waits for placement in the hospital. Don’t call and plead with them anymore yourself.
Get your husband in SNF and go on the internet and look for local employment agencies to help you find a job. Go immediately to your local food bank. They will help you. You can apply to social security because if your husband’s disability. You can apply for food stamps and a slew of other things. Reach out to friends who know more about government benefits and can help you.