My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 6 years ago. He has shown much progression in the last year and a half. Recently he has been asking about his mother alot. When he talks to his brother he wants to know where she lives so he can visit her. My husband will be 79 in September and obviously she has been gone for quite some time. I tell his brother to change the subject or make someone up like she moved far away. I do the same. Are we doing the right thing by fibbing because I read that if you tell them that their parent passed away they will go thru a grieving process again. Would appreciate some input. Thank you.
This went on for 2 years, the asking for/demanding to see her parents and her siblings (She was the last man standing out of a family of 10). She insisted I'd locked them in the closet of her Memory Care ALF. So I'd alternate stories, depending on how sharp her teeth were that day. No matter what, though, she'd forget what I told her in short order and start the whole questioning process over. Again. I'd say bye bye and Get out of there.
Best of luck with a difficult situation.
Little white lies to keep a dementia patient comfortable and happy is best.
So sorry about your husband 😔 🙏
Some will take the "news" that a loved one has died and go on with the conversation. Others will get upset treating it like this is new information and they experience the grief all over again.
So...tell your husband ONCE that mom has died. If he takes it well, great if not you will have to deal with the outcome for a while.
So, really it is up to you as to how you want to deal with this conversation.
There is no Right or Wrong answer. Just as each individual with dementia is different so is how you handle each situation.
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