My hubby is 74. I am 60. He has been bedbound for almost 2 years with Parkinson's and has cognitive issues. I could get him into a wheelchair with an invacare lift, but he refuses. It has become too uncomfortable for him. I am his caregiver and fiduciary, & manage all of our expenses and needs. I care for him at home. We've always discussed my outliving him since I am much younger & in good health. I feel I need to have a game plan for the unlikely event I die before him. We have no children. Extended family is extremely unlikely to take him in and care for him. So I have no idea what to plan or how to plan for the event of his outliving me. Who would appoint a guardian for him and a fiduciary for his funds? Would he be a ward of the state? He receives Veterans benefits. Do I call an elder care attorney? An estate planner? A Veterans Administration social worker to look into VA long term care beds? Can anyone guide me? Has any caregiver planned for the same event? All advice helpful.
See an Elder Care attorney for the best advice in how to set it up
S/he will let be able to discuss care, fiduciary, and management care should you transition before your husband. As well, an estate planner. In essence, an attorney specializing in these areas will know how to handle all of these needs and prepare for the future. All these areas need to be legally covered now while you are actively managing everything, if they aren't already.
I recommend / encourage you to:
1) acquire caregivers on a regular, weekly basis;
2) Make arrangements for you to have extended respites (1-2 weeks) every few months or as you want;
* You cannot run on empty.
* You need to take care of yourself.
* While being grateful to be on good health, you need to do what will benefit you now and over the long run - stress reduction, meditation, exercise, 'FUN.'
* I hope you have good friends / social outlets. If not, start to find outlets for yourself to shift from being 'on' caregiver 24/7.
- What you are doing is hard and you are very young and DESERVE (and need) a full life, in addition to the responsibilities you take on (no matter how much you 'want to' ... you need time to renew and enjoy your own life). I would tend to believe your husband would want you to enjoy your life as much as possible now and in the future.
My heart goes out to you and it is heartfelt knowing how you care for your husband. I hope you care for yourself as you care for him.
Gena / Touch Matters
He is a Vietnam War veteran but we are considered too affluent for VA assistance. To ensure his continued care in the case of my death, I have arranged for a corporate trustee to carry out the many duties involving selling our assets, managing money on his behalf going forward, etc. A backup trustee will take care of more personal, and non-financial matters.
This was recommended by our estate lawyer who put together our trust. He does not act as a corporate trustee although many law firms do perform this service.
Similar story here, similar ages. My husband has Parkinson’s as well. All arrangements made as there is family etc.
He does not have dementia so can decide for himself although reaching advanced Parkinson’s that could change.
I am more concerned with more likely event if I need hospitalization or I am in car crash. He would need immediate help. One arrangement is if I am hospitalized they would take him as well and do social admit or take him to facility. Another scenario if I am not hospitalized but need time alone or am sick he is pre approved for 28 days of respite stay which could be extended with additional pay.
I would speak with family. No, they would be VERY unlikely to take on hands-on care, but they may be willing to act as your hubby's trustee, managing a Trust after the initial Trustee (you, yourself) dies. That would mean they would place him, or would hire an attorney as Fiduciary to manage his care while there are funds.
An attorney can give you the best options.
Good luck.
He can create a pre-need guardianship document. This names a person as desired guardian in order to avoid a court-appointed one. But he needs to find a person who is willing, able, local, etc.
Otherwise he most likely will end up the ward of a court-appointed guardian. If he is cognitively too impaired to create legal documents, then this will be the probable result.