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Lauramay, you have a tough one there. Homemade shakes are the way to go. Stick w what Dad can have. Kidney disease...normally, no tomatoes, broccoli, oatmeal, red meat, whole grains, watermelon. Strawberries, grapes, mangoes, apples(very good), cucumbers, celery, squash, beans, cherries, onions, garlic, lemons, pineapples are good. Gelatin, not so good. Ck out my profile. Get a really good blender. Find out what flavors he likes, coffee, mint, lemon, etc. Also, make a huge pot of white, not brown, rice and when cool, put in ziploc bags in freezer to pull for convenient breakfast, dinner, etc. Add broth, butter, onions, etc.
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NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Dear "dads1caregiver,"

You brought up a very good point about someone who has kidney disease shouldn't have certain foods like the ones you mentioned. Since I don't know much about kidney disease, I myself wouldn't have thought of that but, now I remember when my mom was hospitalized in April for severe dehydration and COVID, when they ran bloodwork they said her kidney function was at a stage 3. Thanks for the reminder and more ideas!
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Is he having problems with liquids?
Sometimes with dementia thinner liquids are a problem and Aspiration is a real possibility. Maybe he choked once or twice and is now fearful.
Try thickening the liquids.
Be careful with slippery things like peaches, nectarines, grapes, plums, Jello.
Popsicle's are also "liquid" so they can cause choking as well.
Soup is a good way to get liquids into someone as are things like Oatmeal, grits, cream of wheat.
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As a retired nutrition clinical staff member...when working a few years ago I encountered many elderly who did not want fluids..I would offer ice cream, jello, wet fruits like watermelon and grapes in addition to fluids ..Most foods are about 80% free fluids.. Try juices watered down..Grape juice was well accepted...all fluids count..Make milkshakes..home made ones work so much better than Ensure...float ice cream in root beer...hope this helps...
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As people age they lose the thirst drive. This is pretty common. My dad didn’t like to drink water either. What he would drink was Ensure and Cokes. So try other options but just know that fighting a battle to get him to drink water is a losing battle.
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Have you asked the doctor? You have some good info on getting fluids in by way of other foods - Popsicles, cucumbers, watermelon, cantaloupe, etc. Maybe a doctor can offer some advice on the dehydration issue.

How bad is his dementia? Meaning, does he understand about becoming dehydrated and that's why emergency responders have to come? Does he understand that he could end up in hospital or a NH where fluids would be administered? If he really doesn't understand outcome of not drinking, conversations will just wear you down. The alternatives, like watery foods, may be the only thing you could do.
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Apple Juice
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My mom is the same way; but She will eat popsicles. I have to chop them up and she eats w a spoon. At least it is a bit of liquid.
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Grapes and cukes have lots of liquid in them. Icee pops and fruit pops too.
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Thanks NobodyGetsIt, I never thought about V8 energy drink, I am going to get it for my mom. The flavors sound so good. Thanks again.
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NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Your welcome "earlybird," - I'm impressed with how many flavors they have and I've tried almost every one of them. I sure hope your mom likes them! I originally bought it for myself because I wasn't getting enough fruits and vegetables in my diet and then I decided it might be good for her.
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I have a similar problem with my mom. She is on thickened liquids and pureed honey consistency foods. I get pure coconut water from Trader Joes, she likes the sweetness, I also give her lemonade with low sugar, Honest drinks, Smoothies with banana, strawberries and almond milk. She prefers these over water. I love watermelon and I get most of my fluid intake from fruits and vegetables. I drink water with lemon or lime. Vegetable bean soup is a good choice, Jello with added fruit, pudding, chicken or turkey broth low salt option are some choices.
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NobodyGetsIt Aug 2020
Dear "earlybird,"

The smoothie with almond milk sounds really good! Since I don't enjoy drinking water either and we live in a very hot climate, I love lime in my water and also, orange slices in water is really good. The first time I had that was when we went to "Outback Steakhouse" (before COVID) they had kept a water cooler of it in the waiting area.

Another drink I give my mom is V8's Energy+ Drink which has one serving of fruits and vegetables in it. They have a lot of different flavors she and I both like the Peach/Mango the best, then Orange/Pineapple, Honeycrisp Apple and a few others. The only drawback is it does have some caffeine in it. I actually add cold water to mine at home to take some of the sweetness out and make it more refreshing.

Like you and several others have said watermelon is a great source of water.
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If he likes salads, try lettuce & spinach with cukes, tomatoes, celery, bell peppers, & maybe fruit like strawberries. Try coconut water, cottage cheese & fruit, plain yogurt with fruit, smoothies with fruits & veggies, skim milk, cabbage or cauliflower. All of these have fluids to help with hydration other than water, coffee & tea. There're many ways to try & sneak in fluids. Watch out with the pops if he's diabetic, use sugar free ones. Good luck!
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Good ideas, thanks, he loves watermelon. I can be sneaky. Very helpful advice.
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Hi Lauramay. I have the same issue with my Mom. I offer different liquids throughout the day. Sometimes 1/2 cup worth in plastic cup so it doesn’t seem overwhelming. Sometimes in a small water bottle with a straw. Lately hot chocolate, fruit cups, watermelon are favorites. My Mom dislikes water so not often will she drink it. I do give her medications one pill at a time tellingt her to take a sip after each pill so I do manage to get about 6 oz in that way twice a day. Cereal with milk, cream off wheat which uses water to make it counts too. Ice cream, cookie with milk. I often just pick up the cup and say ‘here Mom, have a sip’ many times throughout the day. Good luck!
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InFamilyService Aug 2020
I got the little 4 oz bathroom dixie cups for my dad. Seemed easier with smaller amounts and cups easy to handle.
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Elders lose the drive to drink. Who told you that your father must drink 6 glasses a day? It is often impossible for those with kidney disease, and likely some heart disease as well, to be able to handle water with these weakening pumps and exchanges crucial to body function. It is time now to discuss whether you will go to dialysis. I personally would not and have refused it for myself in my advanced directives. Kidney failure, like heart and lung failure, are the end of the road unless there is heroic intervention. That would be transporting Dad to dailysis three times a week; infection control for site, severely limiting diet and intakes. Would he want this? I would not. Often doctors will tell you that kidney failure is a painful death. To the contrary. With hospice, it is not. Time to start thinking ahead. At this point I would go for comfort and for quality of life rather than forcing fights and other things that will do little good but to torment Dad at the end of his life. Speak with Palliative care experts now. Ask for Hospice or Palliative care consults. Most seniors enter hospitalization dehydrated because of their lack of a drive to take fluids.
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InFamilyService Aug 2020
My dad had kidney failure as a result of heart failure but he had decided long ago dialysis was not an option. We were told it was a horrible and painful way to live. Hospice came and helped him in his journey hone as painlessly as possible .
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Dear "lauramay,'

Since he isn't drinking water or fluids for that matter - has he been checked for a UTI. That could play a role in his behavior. People can react differently when they have one. My father-in-law had hallucinations and my mother gets very confused more so than normally with having Alzheimer's.

For some reason, elderly people seem to struggle with keeping hydrated.

Is it possible your dad can't take in fluids and does he need to be under hospice care if that's the case?

Don't know what else you can do since flavored water doesn't help (which is what I give my mom), won't drink tea or soda. I personally don't give my mom anything that is carbonated. There also comes a point where they can't get hydrated on their own and they need IV fluids at a hospital.
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lauramay Aug 2020
Dad spent the day on an IV. Turns out the Cardiologist made a medication change that might better regulate his blood pressure. Tomorrow he starts new dosages of 2 of his meds. Tonight he drank a large glass of water and we tried the watermelon idea. He is out of the ER now, doing better. The day was a long day in ER, exhausted.
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Have you been given a list of fruits and vegetables that contain lots of water? You may get a lot more water into him by serving it as foods, if he has some appetite.

Watermelon, Jello with seedless berries, fruit ices and sherbets, vegetable soups made without added salt and Mrs. Dash as a seasoning, mango, cucumbers, stewed zucchini, fruit flavored teas. There are some new non-alcoholic beers that might work.

There are a lot more of these.

If he’s the slightest bit cantankerous he may be refusing just to annoy you. Don’t get mad, - GET SNEAKY.
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lauramay Aug 2020
Thanks for your helpful ideas. We used watermelon tonight and I will make soup for lunch. I am buying Popsicles too. Lots of great ideas were offered.
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