My mom is in a nursing home and my sister is her POA. I am the only one who comes to see her or buys her The things she needs that the nursing home does not provide. when my mom first went in the nursing home in June, I would take her out to lunch and take her to the mall. But now my sister will not allow me to take her out of the building because I questioned her about my mother’s finances for the last two years that she was living with my sister. I asked my sister to change the POA over to me at my mom’s request and she told me I can be my mom’s medical POA but she will not turn over my mom’s financial POA. My mom really enjoyed going out with me. I believe my sister is abusing her authority, and not acting in my mom‘s best interest. My mom‘s social worker at the nursing home said she will not get involved. Hi cannot afford an attorney nor do I have money To apply for guardianship of my mother. I feel really bad for my mother. She said she feels like a prisoner. Does anyone know what I can do?
Your mother chose your sister for whatever reason.
Now that your mother has dementia, she can no longer change her POA, fire her POA or get another.
Moreover YOU have no right to EVER question the POA. Not EVER. You have no right to be informed of anything financial whatsoever. Not ever. This is private information that your mom's POA holds with the same privacy that your own mother could have when she was able.
You are interferring.
Your mother is in care and doesn't like it. Few do like it. You are playing into her despair by supporting any supposition that she can leave care.
I have no use for siblings who war over the body of a still living elder instead of supporting one another and the elder. You need to educate yourself on POA. I am thankful you have no funds for an attorney because this would cost, in a fight, way over 10,000 and you would LOSE.
If you have any proof (PROOF) that your sister is not acting in your mother's best interests then speak with APS. I think you will find reassuring their counsel that you drop all of this. I hope you will change your ways and support your Sis and your Mom.
If you really want to help and support your mother you will help and support HER and your SISTER to the best of your ability, you will be cooperative and polite.
I, like your sister, would not want you to see the mother as long as you are holding these delusions of grandeur that you are in charge of anything here. The fact that a Social Worker has no support for you, should inform you.
If you have proof that your sister is financially abusing your Mother, then you take that hard evidence to a lawyer to see if you have a case. You probably don't. If your Mom has dementia then the things she says may not be accurate. People in facilities -- even really nice ones -- usually don't like it. If your Mom has depression and anxiety but is not on any meds for that, all the more she may not be giving you an accurate assessment.
People with dementia can have paranoia. I'm my Mom's PoA (she lives next door to me and I provide all her care and management). Yet she due to her increasing dementia has begun to occasionally accuse me of "taking her money" and trying to "put her away in a home". None of this is true and is based on literally nothing.
So, maybe your sister is weary of caring for an unappreciative Mom and now has a brother who also is not understanding what her role is and continues to be and is instead suspecting her for no reason.
Guardianship is your only other pathway to take over your Mom's care.