Family member is struggling to discern that this new apt in AL is their new home, keeps wanting to know when they can leave. Disorientation for this 89yo has only started since recent move (3 months) to new AL community, which is a lovely community. Advice to help them cope and come to accept this new AL community would be greatly appreciated.
And home is not always the last place they lived. It could be a childhood home, the first one they had when they married. You need to get this person involved in the activities. When u visit take them to the common area. Come on a day there is a party or entertainment and take them out to see what is going on. The staff should be encouraging this too.
Almost EVERY new arrival at even the best residential facility experiences adjustment issues, and when my beautiful LO became severely anxious and depressed, I was able to make an extremely helpful connection to the house psychiatric services connected to her facility.
With a small judiciously chosen amount of medication, she grew comfortable and confident in her new surroundings, and we who love her grew confident that she was safe, eating well, and enjoying her new life bit by bit.
Covid ruined everything, but even now, 3 years later and on hospice, she is still receiving excellent care.
There is no special advice to speed this process, for some, almost immediate, for others, months.
As someone who loves him, allow your father to realize that YOU are happy that he’s in a safe and cordial place. Good for you both!
So, after all that is said, there is no 'good answer' to orienting your father to the AL and that it's his new home. Just encourage him to get out and socialize, make friends, play cards with the other men (that was a big one for my dad and helped him a LOT), eat meals in the dining room, etc. Time is the great healer of all wounds. The longer he lives there, the more familiar everything and everyone feels to him, and the more it feels like 'home' to him as he finds his way around the building. When the other residents and caregivers start saying Hi John, how are you? every day, then he'll feel like a regular and not a stranger anymore.
Best of luck to both of you!
That level of disorientation three months in makes me wonder if AL was the right choice rather than memory care.