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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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WendyP, once a week is good enough, and inbetween times use baby wipes.
My concern is can your Dad still shower on his own being he has dementia? There will come a time when he will no longer want to shower as his dementia will create numerous issues.... such as he doesn't like the feel of shower water on his skin.... have the feeling of being closed-in in the shower.... fear of falling, etc.
There are skilled caregivers that you can hire just for showering/bathing. They will recommend you get a shower chair so Dad can feel safer sitting down. That grab bars be installed. And your Dad won't feel as embarrassed having a caregiver help compared to having his daughter assist him.
Don't focus on 'should be's' here and settle for 'good enough's' instead. 2x a week for a shower is more than good enough for an elder suffering from dementia/ALZ and COPD, once a week if twice gets to be too much for him.
Just a tip- any “caregiver” who is run off by a victim of dementia using “naughty language” may not be worth having around anyway.
The “words” of a person who is suffering cognitive loss are MEANINGLESS and should be expected to be incomprehensible and sometimes highly offensive. A caregiver can walk away, turn the TV up louder, deflect, change the subject.
Maybe your dad could benefit from a small dose of a carefully chosen medication to help him be more comfortable and peaceful in his daily activities.
Dad hasn’t “…turned into someone mean”. He’s turning into someone who is losing his ability to use language as he did when he was a younger man. This will become progressively more difficult for him. His “filters” are failing.
Only children have an extra tough time when parents’ skills begin to fail. But truth- sometimes it’s actually easier if you are free to do the research on your dad’s current situation, then act on what you’ve learned.
Come back. There are lots of us “LonelyOnlies” here.
Try getting a male caregiver. That would substantially eliminate the embarrassment aspect of it and perhaps make him more receptive. It is no different than many women not wanting a male caregiver assisting them with showers.
My father had COPD and mild (undiagnosed) dementia. He would do a wipe down on most days and then once a week my nephew (his grandson) would come and give him a shower. It worked well as my Mom couldn't help him in the shower anymore and having a male he was related to assisting him relieved most of the embarrassment. It would have been impossible for a female relative or aide. My Mom now has advanced dementia and she gets a bed bath twice a week.
I have the same issue. I hired shower care through a firm 3x a week for routine. The goal is shower twice, sink bath once. I struggle to change him and get clean the other days.
it’s a shoot for the best, settle for anything, situation.
I would say at least two times a week and a wash up every day.
If your Dad is suffering from Dementia, do not expect him to initiate the shower. And as frequent said, for some reason those suffering from Dementias no longer like showers. One reason too is the bathroom is cold. I always warmed up Moms up first.
If cleaning up means after using the bathroom, he may now need help. As the Dementia progresses, you will need to do more for him.
You may find some obvious reasons that make sense to why Dad resists eg hates being cold, doesn't enjoy the water hitting him, no concept of body odour. Or you have no idea - maybe Dad has no idea either - he just wants to say NO & be left alone!
Things that can work; - Making the wash/shower as comfortable as possible or warm. - Having a no-no sense approach. Follow me.. It's time for... - Routine eg Every Mon Wed Fri.
Some actually do better if the routine is EVERY day. As 2-3 times a week is too tricky for their memory to hold. Up, wash breakfast.
The most 'resistive' to hygiene at a reasonable level, may find themself in a care home. Medication for mood may be an inbetween step that makes staying home possible for a bit longer. (A little pill is helping my LO stay at home).
1. Use bathing cloths like we do at hospitals , order by the case. I use them to wipes hands and face before/after meals, so it is not just bathing. It may be nicer if warmed . 2. Will the aid lay out clothes for days the are not working with Dad, ...AND label the day for use?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My concern is can your Dad still shower on his own being he has dementia? There will come a time when he will no longer want to shower as his dementia will create numerous issues.... such as he doesn't like the feel of shower water on his skin.... have the feeling of being closed-in in the shower.... fear of falling, etc.
There are skilled caregivers that you can hire just for showering/bathing. They will recommend you get a shower chair so Dad can feel safer sitting down. That grab bars be installed. And your Dad won't feel as embarrassed having a caregiver help compared to having his daughter assist him.
The “words” of a person who is suffering cognitive loss are MEANINGLESS and should be expected to be incomprehensible and sometimes highly offensive. A caregiver can walk away, turn the TV up louder, deflect, change the subject.
Maybe your dad could benefit from a small dose of a carefully chosen medication to help him be more comfortable and peaceful in his daily activities.
Dad hasn’t “…turned into someone mean”. He’s turning into someone who is losing his ability to use language as he did when he was a younger man. This will become progressively more difficult for him. His “filters” are failing.
Only children have an extra tough time when parents’ skills begin to fail. But truth- sometimes it’s actually easier if you are free to do the research on your dad’s current situation, then act on what you’ve learned.
Come back. There are lots of us “LonelyOnlies” here.
It worked well as my Mom couldn't help him in the shower anymore and having a male he was related to assisting him relieved most of the embarrassment. It would have been impossible for a female relative or aide.
My Mom now has advanced dementia and she gets a bed bath twice a week.
it’s a shoot for the best, settle for anything, situation.
If your Dad is suffering from Dementia, do not expect him to initiate the shower. And as frequent said, for some reason those suffering from Dementias no longer like showers. One reason too is the bathroom is cold. I always warmed up Moms up first.
If cleaning up means after using the bathroom, he may now need help. As the Dementia progresses, you will need to do more for him.
You may find some obvious reasons that make sense to why Dad resists eg hates being cold, doesn't enjoy the water hitting him, no concept of body odour. Or you have no idea - maybe Dad has no idea either - he just wants to say NO & be left alone!
Things that can work;
- Making the wash/shower as comfortable as possible or warm.
- Having a no-no sense approach. Follow me.. It's time for...
- Routine eg Every Mon Wed Fri.
Some actually do better if the routine is EVERY day. As 2-3 times a week is too tricky for their memory to hold. Up, wash breakfast.
The most 'resistive' to hygiene at a reasonable level, may find themself in a care home. Medication for mood may be an inbetween step that makes staying home possible for a bit longer. (A little pill is helping my LO stay at home).
2. Will the aid lay out clothes for days the are not working with Dad, ...AND label the day for use?
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