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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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So when we began caregiving for my FIL - we drew a line in the sand. If you get to this point, we will not be able to keep you in your home.
My SIL and BIL lived with him (because they needed a roof over their heads). And this somewhat muddied the waters a little because they needed him to stay home so that they had a place to live (and someone to pay their bills). So if I'm honest, he stayed in his home a lot longer than he should have.
But that line that we established earlier was the hill to die on so to speak. We knew if he got to the point where he could no longer get himself to and from the bathroom, we would have no choice. He weighed 300+lbs and there was no way that keeping him in his home was going to be feasible if he couldn't get out of bed.
Once he got to that point, we had to force the issue and get him into a SNF.
That was ONE way we knew we were done.
But if I'm really honest - we already knew we were done before he got to that point. There are 4 of us that were providing care, 2 living onsite. ALL 4 of us had caregiver injuries. All of us were struggling with our mental health. His care was consuming us.
I had already told my DH that I was done - I couldn't do it any longer. He agreed. It was between that and the fact that FIL was no longer able to get himself out of bed that was the final tipping point.
You know when you are at the end of your rope. The old adage about tying a knot and holding on- that's just dangerous with caregiving. If you are burned out or overstressed or unable to manage the care any longer - you KNOW you need to find another option.
When you’re asking the question and so tired, chances are you’re done. And it’s okay. You’ve done all you can, all that should be reasonably expected. It’s time to practice self care and build your own life. I wish you healing and peace
No one can "make you feel" anything. That is something you "allow yourself" to feel. It is time to get some psychological counseling for yourself so you can make solid decisions going forward. Otherwise you will throw your own life away on the slow burn of your parent's funeral pyre; and no one will ever thank you for it.
Does mom own her house and are you dependent for now in staying there? Or do you reasonably expect to inherit the house if you stick it out? These are reasonable reasons to stay.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My SIL and BIL lived with him (because they needed a roof over their heads). And this somewhat muddied the waters a little because they needed him to stay home so that they had a place to live (and someone to pay their bills). So if I'm honest, he stayed in his home a lot longer than he should have.
But that line that we established earlier was the hill to die on so to speak. We knew if he got to the point where he could no longer get himself to and from the bathroom, we would have no choice. He weighed 300+lbs and there was no way that keeping him in his home was going to be feasible if he couldn't get out of bed.
Once he got to that point, we had to force the issue and get him into a SNF.
That was ONE way we knew we were done.
But if I'm really honest - we already knew we were done before he got to that point. There are 4 of us that were providing care, 2 living onsite. ALL 4 of us had caregiver injuries. All of us were struggling with our mental health. His care was consuming us.
I had already told my DH that I was done - I couldn't do it any longer. He agreed. It was between that and the fact that FIL was no longer able to get himself out of bed that was the final tipping point.
You know when you are at the end of your rope. The old adage about tying a knot and holding on- that's just dangerous with caregiving. If you are burned out or overstressed or unable to manage the care any longer - you KNOW you need to find another option.
they are usually done .
That’s ok . We all have our limits .
It is time to get some psychological counseling for yourself so you can make solid decisions going forward. Otherwise you will throw your own life away on the slow burn of your parent's funeral pyre; and no one will ever thank you for it.
Me, I know my limitations and would never make it as a live in caregiver, for several years I had 3 in AL, that was enough of a challenge for me.
Do what is best for you.