My 95-year old father is living in an independent living facility. He LOVES to drive. After a recent bout of intestinal illness and subsequent weakness he fell. He didn't break anything but had very bruised ribs and was in a great deal of pain. I was bringing him groceries and taking him to appointments for about a month. I was hoping this episode would make him realize that it was time to give up the keys. No such luck. Yesterday I received a call from a very kind and patient police officer who pulled him over for running a stop sign. He's currently waiting on new hearing aids and couldn't hear the siren and apparently didn't notice the flashing lights. I was hoping he'd get a ticket but the officer was buying "I'm a cute super senior" and didn't cite him. He did talk to his supervisor who will send a message to the DMV that means my dad will have to be evaluated and take another driving test. Meanwhile, he's free to drive. He needs to be off the road but is insanely independent and STUBBORN! Any suggestions of how to convince him to voluntarily give up driving?
Oh my gosh, I don’t park in a handicap zone and I pull over immediately when I hear sirens. A person’s life depends upon getting them to the hospital in time.
I am sorry that you are dealing with this situation. It is frightening to think about your dad being hurt and him causing others to be hurt or worse, die!
The last time I said that when people hit a certain age they should be required to take a driving test I was accused of ageism! I don’t care what anyone accuses me of I still believe that people should be tested annually or maybe more frequently!
Methinks you've always deferred to dad, but this is different. Are you afraid he'll get mad at you? Cut you out of the will? Please examine the reason that in your mind, it's not okay for you to demand something that's for his own safety and that of others.
My BIL was killed at age 49 by a drunk driver. BIL left four children and a young wife. Life was never the same for any of us. Needless to say, I have no patience with those who drive impaired or those who allow them to do it when they know it could mean injury or death for people who didn't deserve it.
He refused to stop driving, so wife told rehab people about his shortcomings, and they recommended a driving test, but I don't think it was with the county DMV. It was with someone from the same rehab facility in a different county, I think. Anyway, not what you'd usually expect.
He passed the test, who knows how. His scary driving continued. Wife said that the examiner evidently didn't see what she saw when she and spouse were out together. Then husband started drinking from containers in the car while driving. She refused to ride in the car with him, and riding in separate cars went on for 15 months, which was when she had enough money saved to leave him.
There can be all sorts of reasons why a person's driving skills deteriorate. Refusing to believe mom or dad has dementia "enough to keep her from driving" is common. Apparently even those who work with rehabbed patients don't even know when they become too disabled to drive! A friend of mine, age 97 at the time, renewed her driver's license a few years ago, and the DMV didn't even test her vision. I see drivers who shouldn't be driving in my over-55 community. Lots of people complain about them, but nothing is done. Eventually they run into someone else or a building, such as happened four months ago here. Right through the plate-glass window of a store.
Anyone who EVER spots bad driving in ANYONE has the obligation to report it to an agency that will do something - not just their kids, who don't have the heart to just STOP THEM. (Because our sweet Poppy deserves to drive and ruin someone else's life.)
Where are his car keys?
You could hire someone to drive him around a couple of mornings or afternoons a week. That would get him out and provide companionship.
She is 78 years old and speeded an SUV into a bus shelter that killed three of a young family of four; a second baby died from severe injuries just days afterwards. Very sad. This family was waiting for public transportation to visit the S.F. zoo and never made it. S.F. mayor is addressing safety on our roads.
West Portal victims: 2-year-old baby, parents killed in San Francisco West Portal bus stop crash identified - ABC7 San Francisco (abc7news.com)
The Medical Examiner's office on Tuesday identified the victims as Diego Cardoso de Oliveira, 40, and Matilde Ramos Pinto, 38. Their 1-year-old child, Joaquin Ramos Pinto de Oliveira, was also identified.
INTERACTIVE: Take a look at the ABC7 Neighborhood Safety Tracker
The crash happened Saturday when the woman crashed an SUV into a bus shelter on Ulloa Street.
A 78-year-old woman was arrested for the crash on suspicion of vehicular manslaughter and reckless driving. She has not yet been formally charged.
Please help unsafe drivers stay off the road and use alternative transportation instead.
1. His primary care doctor is board certified in geriatric medicine. All of her patients receive a basic cognitive screening, vision, 6 minute walk, hearing, etc. at their annual physical. If the patient shows deficits, they are referred to the appropriate specialist(s) for resolution. She also discussed the effects of aging on driving skill.
2. My husband was referred to audiology for hearing aids, neurology for cognitive impairment, and occupational therapy for a driving assessment.
3. His neurologist told him he cannot drive. However, he subsequently passed his driving assessment which also has a cognitive component.
4. Once a doctor tells a patient they cannot drive, insurance will not cover it if they get into an accident. My husband is very rational so he stopped driving when the neurologist told him he shouldn't .
5. But since he passed his driving assessment, he agreed he would only drive to the supermarket and golf course.
6. When we lived in California where there is mandatory reporting of unsafe driving by healthcare professionals, he was reported to the DMV. He passed.
Before the CA DMV and his healthcare team got involved, his friends, family, and adult children called him out on his poor driving habits for years to no avail. Once the DMV and healthcare professionals got invilved and he stood to permanently lose his license, he became very motivated. He took driving lessons to prepare for the CA DMV road test.
The key is to involve his doctor and if he was in fact reported to the DMV, he will receive a notice for a medical review. It is a buracratic process but fair. You can support him by teaching him how to use ride share, checking out other forms of transportation for seniors, etc.
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