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I have'nt posted in a while.
Well, we were hoping to not have to move my dad from his previous AL. However he was getting to be more and more of a disaster physically and mentally, but the facility was/is also a worsening disaster. With that combination, he was eventually at the point of just not getting taken care of properly, that facility was really for those who are fairly independent, or else they go into MC. So something had to change......and the old facility did not have room in MC, which would have been where he needed to switch to if staying there.
We have moved him to a different AL place, a larger (and more expensive place), that I think in the long run will be much better all around. The staff seem to be much higher caliber and on the ball. The management seem experienced and on top of things. He is in a sort of in-between program between AL and MC. What it is, is that you can have a regular type of room with the various room options, have free roaming throughout the whole community, eat in the usual dining room, and you are not locked in. so the feel is like you are in regular AL. However their programming and activities are more structured and geared towards memory care, sort of like "pre memory care" without being in a locked unit.
Whether my dad will participate in these activities is a whole other story. I'm skeptical . The transition in the first few days is not going well. Not surprisingly , he has regressed a bit in the move, having some sundowning type activities, flipped his night and day a bit. And yes, he is calling me, about the odd things .... eg "I cant find my clothes, I think the shipment from the old place did not arrive" in the middle of the night. I'm trying to hold strong, and not fall back into old habits of being the knight in shining armor and rushing in to save the day because he cant find clothes...Wish me luck. I hope I have learned from the whole experience of the past 9 months in the initial AL and my mistakes. I'm pushing myself to not feel like I have to jump in and save him, and let the staff (now we are paying a lot more money!!) take front line duty of solving these move in dementia issues...... fingers crossed for me.....

This is an adjustment for BOTH of you; give yourself some grace. Best wishes that things will settle down for your dad.
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Reply to YaYa79
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Hopping for the best for you, strugglinson!! 🙏😔
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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My fingers are crossed for you 🤞🤞 and toes too if I can 🦶🦶
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Reply to Beatty
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I suppose this probably is a common topic for those with dementia when they move - over the first few days - repeatedly thinking some things are missing, were not moved, were stolen by the movers etc???? I'm trying to redirect and change the topic and repeatedly reassure that everything got moved, but it sure is annoying.....
eg "can you please humor me son, and call the movers and make sure they dont have any of my stuff still in their truck?"
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waytomisery Jul 22, 2024
Just answer” sure” . You don’t really call the movers . You don’t bring it up again . If he brings it up again tell him “ I called , they have nothing “.
If you’ve already done this. Tell him he has all his stuff .
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Pperhaps he is in MA? This state rely on social care over medical care which is why some MCs are unlocked until the resident really needs it
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strugglinson Jul 22, 2024
His program is really an off-shoot of AL. THere is also a MC that is locked.
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Let him get settled in himself, as much as possible. I would be clear to the Staff the co$t should be covering the daily small stuff, not you.
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Reply to Dawn88
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Does the new place have memory care he can segue into w/o another big move involved??? What if he starts wandering and the doors are all unlocked? I'm not sure I understand a "pre memory care" situation, tbh.

In any event, good luck with the new AL.
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strugglinson Jul 21, 2024
Yes, there is a full memory care available, that is a locked unit as expected.

"Pre memory care" being that the program he is in is kind of an adjunct to AL, its a pretty large place, so they have separate sessions of activities in AM and afternoon for this group, who are the people in AL with the worse dementia. Then they also try to have them all sit together for meals. So its really a subset of AL with the worse dementia, who likely are the next in line to MC..... But yes, when they really need it, and/or become wanders, then full locked MC unit is available

Despite many adverse things, my dad has so far NOT yet tried to leave the facility (its not easy to do, when the door is unlocked in the daytime there is a front desk person there watching closely and those who are allowed to leave on their own have to formally check out. My dad is not on the list of people allowed to go outside on his own.).
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Oh my , so sorry this became so difficult .
I do hope this facility also has a memory care section should Dad need to be moved again .

I do wish you luck .🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
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