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In my mom's case she has a fear of getting her hair wet. I tell her that if her hair gets wet we will will blow dry it. That gets her moving towards the shower. I did eventually have to get a shower head with handheld attachment. This has made all the difference because we can control the spray and keep it out of her face and hair better.
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frustratedC, lot of excellent suggestions from funkygrandma59. May I add that sometimes when one ages they can also become claustrophobic when in the shower, that actually happened to me, myself. So now I take only baths, but getting out of the tub can be challenging :P

If you have sliding glass doors, keeping the far door opened a bit can be helpful. If you use a shower curtain, one that is light color without any design would be better as that allows the bathroom light to enter the shower.
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Caldinea Nov 2022
"that sometimes when one ages they can also become claustrophobic when in the shower,"

my mom has this now. It got harder and harder for her to use the bathroom alone - I just figured she had this sort of compounding fear of falling in a room built out of skull-cracking porcelain that eventually it blossomed into a full blown phobia. Strange stuff! I'll be sure to let her know that she's not alone in that, I think it'll make her feel much better <3
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After reading your profile I figured out what you were asking as your mother who has dementia doesn't want to shower.
First, often folks with any of the dementias are often afraid to get in the shower as they're afraid of falling or even sometimes of the water hitting them.
Make sure that you have a slip proof mat in the shower, along with grab bars, and a shower seat. You may have to actually get in with her to some degree to assist her and make sure she's getting clean.
We have a walk in shower in our master bath and when my husband(who had vascular dementia)was still alive and able to get in the shower, I had to stand on the outside and wash him up, and often I got a little wet, but to me it was no big deal as I wanted him to feel safe and get clean.
And back then I only had him get in every other day, as it was a lot of work for me. On the off days I just used extra large body wipes to clean him up if needed.
And when my husband became bedridden for the last 22 months of his life and was under hospice care, their aides only came twice a week to give him a bed bath, so again I used the extra large body wipes to clean him if necessary on the off days.
So in all reality your mother doesn't need to get in the shower every day, as you can just use the body wipes for the in-between days.
They also sell the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps as well online that work great for washing her hair. I used them on my husband and also on myself when I had my hip replaced and couldn't get in the shower for a while.
Oh and one more thing, if you're having a hard time convincing your mother to get in the shower, often folks have better luck with hiring an aide to come in to give their loved one a shower as they are better trained on the tricks of the trade.
Best wishes.
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