My then 82 yr old father requested that I move in and care for him after his wife passed away...I have been his sole caretaker for over 7 years...he has suffered several mini strokes and was diagnosed with dementia shortly after me ariving. I get no support whatsoever from my 2 siblings. We rarely see them. My father is now 89...and thriving living at home..I coordinate all of his care..medications and appointments...keep a clean house..cook..do laundry..drive him to doctors appointments..church...etc. Recently my siblings decided to show up and without any care for his wellbeing tried to sell his home..car..etc. and move him between their homes every few months. My career was focused around managing the care of disabled adults ...I tried to explain how detrimental that would be for him but they refused to listen. I advocated for my father to stay in his home ..we never asked them for ANYTHING...they reluctantly agreed..but started putting the idea in his head that I should have been paying him rent...he decided that he wanted me out and they helped him get an attorney to serve me a 60 day notice... which was drafted for oct 4th date... taped to my doorknob.... but I did not see it until October 9th.. and there was no proof of service.. anyway he has susequently been going through my things.. putting them out at the end of the driveway where it is considered free to take by other residents... he refuses to unlock the sheds which contain some of my belongings and has changed the locks to stop my access to my belongings inside the house. I drafted a dispute and with a witness given it to his attorney... I have never been compensated for my caregiving services. My siblings demanded that I give 24 hour care... but since I am now homeless and not providing his care he has missed numerous doctor appointments and even a necessary medical porcedure! My siblings are not providing any support to him! They consider my not paying half of his 700.00 rent as me taking advantage of him! What can I do?
Call APS to report a vulnerable adult at risk.
Full-time caregivers do NOT pay rent to live with their loved ones. Instead, the LO usually pays the caregiver, if possible. I hope your siblings are just clueless, but I'm afraid they sound mercilessly greedy.
I hope you are not personally devastated by your father's new behavior against you. He has dementia. He is not thinking straight, and it sounds like your siblings are taking advantage of that. You know you have done your best for Dad, and somewhere in parts of his brain that he cannot access right now, your Dad knows it too.
I am so very sorry that you and your father are in this unhappy situation. Please stay in touch with us here, and let us know how this works out.
I agree you should call the police to get access to your belongings. He doesn't have the right to withhold that from you or start putting your stuff on the curb during the notice period. But maybe you should also call APS and tell them that your father needs help and supervision and now he doesn't have it since you're not allowed to take him to his appointments, etc. Your siblings have left your father far worse off and I hope they are called to account for it.