I'm the HC and Durable POA for a friend with no living relatives. Her dementia (diagnosed at least 3 years ago) has progressed to the point that her violent outbursts make it unsafe for her to live alone in her home. Attempts at getting her live-in help have failed (she's mean, belligerent and doesn't admit she has problems), and she still has access to a car! It's just a matter of time before she harms herself or others. Just last week, we had to call the Sheriff to get EMS to pick her up because she was having one of her tantrums against the caregiver and no one could calm her down. She spent 5 days at the behavioral unit at our local hospital, with everyone in agreement (social workers at the hospital, the head of our county DMH who knows the history, DSS, etc.) that this would be the perfect opportunity to finally place her somewhere. But the young doctor assigned for the final assessment, didn't agree, because she has an uncanny ability to become "perfect" for those she knows will benefit her most. So he released her! Was about to send her home in a cab last Friday, to no one to even check on her, because I was out of town and so was her other caregiver (unexpected funeral). I had to beg them to keep her until I got back and could make sure she was safe.
I picked her up on Monday, and she's had a series of violent, destructive outbursts since, and even though I have a HC POA that gives me the right to choose where she lives, I'm being told that I can't exercise it (because she won't go willingly for sure), without a doctor's letter stating her incompetence to make such decisions. Her doctor wrote us a note years ago indicating she did not possess the capacity to deal with her financial and legal affairs, but now even with pages and pages of photographs and written documentation of the various meltdowns and their aftermath, including an accidentally obtained video when she attacked her security monitor and set it to record on baby monitor mode, showing her as literally a wild animal, beating on the TV with her fists and head, stomping on the cable box, shattering a TV remote, and just in general going wild, the doctor is telling me she won't write the letter that's required for me to have a facility do an evaluation and take her in involuntarily if they agree. I've honestly never experienced such CYA in my life, and am so disgusted with the medical industry! It's no wonder so many people are killed by the mentally ill. My friend's problems may be exacerbated by her dementia, but it's my opinion, she's been mentally ill (and an alcoholic) for years prior, and now we have a triple whammy.
So the advice of "if you have a valid HC POA" is BS. Even that can't get you the help you need to protect them from themselves.
Any ideas? I'm in SC, by the way.
It isn't that you don't want to help your friend, or don't care what becomes of her. It is that you are powerless to intervene. So give the task to people who aren't.
But, sadly, it looks like there isn't much you can do for her. Like you said, she is mentally ill and longtime alcoholic. I'd be worried about her attacking you, if she is this much out of control.
I don't know the steps to take with relinquishing POA or what the state does afterward, but many on here do. I'd think once state had custody, she could be placed somewhere for good. Likely won't be an ideal place, but at least she'd be somewhere.
You are her Durable POA & have a physician's letter that she is financially incompetent - - use her funds to see a lawyer to file an emergency ex-parte motion for "conservatorship of finances AND person". Generally, a hearing is rapidly set, and the patient is advised to appear. If they don't, that's already an indication of a problem.
Once you get to court with the documentation you have, the judge may make a temporary order or, if there is "competent" disagreement (that is, the behavior in court doesn't speak for itself) they will likely appoint their own trusted doctors or other individuals to do an assessment evaluation.
Even if her funds are limited and she would be on Medicaid now or later, her intentions, when she was "of sound mind", were for you to act as her advocate. You won't be able to do that if you turn her care over to the State.
I have seen folks do that to family and friends and it wouldn't be my personal choice unless it's a last resort.
Unlike a POA, the conservatorship gives you to complete authority over decision making. Once you'd probably obtain that and install her in a facility, the institution doctors will likely find cause to medicate her which, in the long run, will help with her anxiety and make her more comfortable.
If you want local SC information, I would contact the Clerk of the Circuit Court’s office. Another option would be to contact a local geriatric care manager - search geriatric care manager on the web. When I was a geriatric care manager I was a member of the National Assoc of Geriatric Care Manager. Since my retirement they have changed the name of the organization, but a search of the assoc above will get you the info.
Hope this is helpful
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