My mother had a stroke at 59. This took away her total independence. She could not drive anymore or work. She was starting a new job in 3 days prior to the stroke.That was 8 years ago. Long story short. My dad was taking care of her He died in 2007 from lung cancer. I was my mothers sole overseer of affairs until December 2010. She sustained a fractured hip in Oct was in and out of rehab. She through crying fits about going to rehab and said she just wanted to go home. She checked herself out of rehab in Dec 2010 and "fired" me as her POA and called my brother crying stating I was trying to put her in a nursing home. She made him POA. She would not speak to me after that. I have 2 young children and an adult daughter. This has been so stressful for me and now my brother who took over in Dec. She now seems "a little confused" Crying and screaming at her care givers and any one else around. My brother is thinking she needs to be placed in a nursing home and I agree. However, she crys and screams at the near mention of it. Neither of us can take it anymore and am at a loss of what to do now. She will not go willingly. She will not even go to the doctor for she thinks she is being tricked into a nursing home. I am so stressed with this. She is also a chronic chain smoker and I have asthma and migraines and cannot tolerate the smoke. Is there a good answer to this?
This will take time researching, visiting, talking and hopefuly the 3 of you can come to terms for the care of you all.
Let us know and best wishes to you all soon!
Btw, I do not have a complete picture of your Mom's needs. Is she able to walk with a walker or cane? Is she able to take care of toileting needs? If she can do these two things there are many ALFs that tailor to the needs of the resident. My Mom has mobility issues but lives in an "independent" wing of an ALF. We do have extra care for her for bathing, etc. And they arrange to have her transported to activities, etc. But my goal is to keep her out of a NH for as long as possible. I also found another ALF where the residents live in nice individual homes that look like any neighborhood. There are only 10 - 12 people living in each "home." They provide more advanced care such as help with toileting and getting to meals and charge a flat rate. I tend to avoid those places that charge "ala carte." (The one I liked most is Beehive Homes.)
Your Mom is so young. I can see why the idea of a NH is depressing for her. These facilities are for folks who really are at the end stages of their lives, need memory care, or have lost complete mobility.
I hope you can come up with a better alternative that suits her needs and age.
good luck
then you and bro could decide from there .
i am so sorry this happened to ur mom . 59 yrs old is way too young in fact i think my dad had a bad stroke at that age too , now he is 88 yrs old .
i hope ur mom will heal and get better .