Last Spring we convinced parents to sell VA condo & move near my NH sister into a "regular appartment", so they live independently. My Mom signed medical & financial POA with my sister as agent & me second. She also is a cosigner on Mom's bank accounts. Mom fell & was in rehab in Jan. While there, they tested her for dementia & said she was @60%. We think she has declined since then. Even though sis says she'll come over & pay bills, Mom still wants to pay bills/write her checks but she is paying them multiple times because she doesn't remember & doesn't write in register what she's paid. Now she wants to move back to VA & has been speaking with a VA realtor saying she has cash in bank to buy a condo. Does my sister's financial POA allow us to "block" my Mom, so she can't access her own money? Sometimes her memory is clear (especially things 60 yrs ago), but doesn't remember things we discussed 5 min ago.
One person needs to handle the accounts.
That can't be a person with 60% capacity and your mom needs to be given to understand that.
Sister needs now to be having all bills coming to her name, to be the signatory on all checks written and they should be written as POA. That is Mom's name by Sister's name with the words "by POA".
If you don't understand fully how to act as POA then it is time to talk with the bank and with an elder law attorney. All records are kept by ONE person, that is sister. And every single penny into and out of mom's accounts is accounted for on paper.
My brother made me his POA and I assumed duties the day the POA was made , also Trustee of Trust. He had just been diagnosed by symptoms with probable early Lewy's dementia. We needed to get him safe before he lost any capacity.
If Mom would like her own personal private spending account then she will be assigned an account in her name, with Sister the POD or co owner. This should be in an amount not over 1,000.00. Checks should be doled out by the POA. There should be no debit or credit cards attached in mom's name.
1) Mom no longer has executive function to do her financial work. She must be TOLD this in no uncertain terms. This isn't a matter of what she wants.
2. To meld accounts and names isn't good. Sister should be on as POA
3. Careful records need to be kept by POA for all bills. Get as much done online as you are able.
4. Consider a visit to an elder law attorney. COst anywhere from 350.00 for an hour of advice on up to 700.00. Make clear you are coming in with just a few questions.
Good luck here. This was for me five years ago a massive learning curve that ramped up my anxiety exponentially, but after about a year everything was running smoothly even from out of town for the most part.
PS the elder law attorney can also tell you if you need testamentary letters from the MD to say mom has no longer the executive function to manage accounts and bills, so that POA can be fully in force in banks and elsewhere. This is a lot of protection for your mom.
If they are incompetent to manage their money, you must arrange to be Guardian of your parents with the help of an eldercare attorney. This is the only way to prevent them from making poor financial decisions without consulting you.
This is a hard hard job and your sister is responsible, but the parent is NOT capable of doing this any more.
Your sister is going to need to take the checkbook away from Mom. Maybe ask for bills to be sent to her home. Its hard but the rolls have changed. Sis is now the parent and Mom is the child. Where is Dad in all this? If he also has cognitive decline, your parents should not be living independently. They should be in Assisted Living if they can afford it.
Have sis call that realtor and tell them Mom has been declared incompetent. She cannot sign a contract for a condo.
Best of luck, sounds like she is gonna go down kicking and screaming to keep her autonomy. Buckle up, she is fixing to take you all on a roller-coaster ride of dementia and control.
I, highly recommend, reading your moms state statutes on POA. This will help you understand what you can legally do with this authority and what your responsibilities are while acting on moms behalf.