Mom is 92 with dementia and has been in her tiny little room since March. I was allowed in til about 2 months ago, then they kicked me out cause county cases had risen. I was an exception to the rule due to mom's mental condition and she gets so lonely and is completely dependent. With me getting covid tested and wearing a mask, why can’t I get her and take her for a ride or come in? It seems residents have no rights. Shouldn’t they be able to choose what risk they want to take?
I think that the only reason it is not allowed to give elders a ride away from their facility, say into the country, is that the facility cannot trust that their rules will be obeyed. For instance, Mom may insist on a shopping stop at Target, there get the virus, and bring it back home with her.
Would you be able to accept that? Was the risk worth it? H*ll no.
Facilities with vulnerable people HAVE TO be vigilant if they want their residents to remain alive and mostly well. They aren’t restricting to be mean or paranoid. It legit is a matter of life or death.
I don’t get the censoring; not like there’s 10 year olds on here. Carry on, dernit!
She too “gets so lonely” and is completely dependent. In fact I’m her only living relative.
She became ill on a Friday, and the person who infected her had no symptoms until the Sunday afternoon following.
If you are in a high risk area, which most US areas are, your mom would be vulnerable to exposure too.
It really isn’t an issue of residents’ “rights”. In my area, it’s STILL a matter of safety. My heart breaks for both of us, you and me.
Being responsible for someone I care so deeply for, and not being able to assure her that I’m nearby and LOVE HER, is unbearable to me. When the phone rings at any time of day or not, I break into a cold sweat, each time thinking it may be that call informing me that she’s gone.
I have cautious hopes that I may be able to see her indoors at some point soon enough that she’ll still know who I am. I doubt that I’ll be able to hug her, but if/when I’m allowed to, it will be the biggest, gentlest hug I know how to give.
Hopes and prayers that you will be United SOON, with your mom. I know only too well how painful this is.
Very tough times. Is your LO in a facility? My daughter has just now returned to teaching, Washington State. I can tell you they are all pretty terrified. A friend went to a Seattle SeaHawks party where 17 were attending. 7 got it. One has died of it. Principal already has informed a friend tested positive so he is out for 14 days isolation. It seems to me it is coming fast, and hitting closer to home.
Please keep in mind that facility cannot properly monitor resident that is taken out and brought back in. Did they take all the precautions? Are they asymptomatic? This is hard on everyone's psychological health, but it is what it is - a serious medical/quarantine issue, not a political one. And people have, are and will die because of public failure to support preventive measures.
I understand the fact the Nursing Facilities want to follow guidelines in what they think will keep their residents safe. That part is understood and no questions asked.
However, Have they ever thought what damage is being done to these elderly by keeping them imprisoned? (sort of speak) Do they not understand this isolation is not good on their mental and physical well being?
Imagine the loneliness they must feel. How about the sadness and depression from not seeing their loved ones. Could this not add stress to the physical body? (heart)
I do understand here, there are measures to take to ensure safety. For instance, You can go to the doctor's office. They will check your temperature, keep you 6 feet apart and require a mask.
I feel the same can be done in a Nursing Facility.
Where the is a will, there is a way.
Think about the employees there. When they are not working, they are out and about. Can possibly get contaminated, Right?
So, the same measures the facilities use for their employees to return into the building are the same measures they can use on the visitors?
Don't you think all of the patients would love for their family to come in, or go for a ride? And if 50% are really careful going in/going out, wouldn't you be a little upset if someone on the other side of that fence brought a huge covid outbreak and gave it to your mom?
They have no idea where you take mom, if you're really a masker when you are out, or if your family might be a bunch of anti-maskers. If case count went higher in your area, locking them down is the best defense they have. It's bad enough the staff have to come and go as a means for the virus to travel, but that is unavoidable. There was a nursing home in Texas where every single patient and all of the staff caught it - several died, including our neighbor's relative.
You/your mom do have rights/choices to make. Leave her there following the facility rules to avoid covid outbreak or take her to your house until they come up with a vaccine that works. Then you can come/go as you please.
You getting a covid test today at 1:00 certainly doesn't mean you can't be exposed to it by 2:00. The mask helps to contain your coughing, but if you get around others sharing their coughing fits and germs with everyone in a public setting, there's still a chance of getting it. Our job, as I see it, is to protect our families and those we don't know who could be at risk. Until we all get on board to take precautions for those we don't even know, I think we'll continue to see the spikes pop up. Wear the mask for someone else!!! - I wouldn't want you to bring in the virus and make my grandmother sick or kill her, she had the rights too. To expect facility to keep her safe.
You might get an ipad or other device so staff could help her connect with you. Maybe that would help both of you.
The facilities are doing the best they can do. And the NH population is more vulnerable. Of the 230,000 deaths in the United Stated, 80% of them are people over 65 years old and of that group, 40% of the deaths are people in nursing homes of some type. So the facilities are trying to keep them alive. Yes, the isolation might be hastening their declines but the facilities cannot do anything about that beyond what they can do, We did not see my FIL from March until he died on May 18th. So I do understand that this is difficult but when you look at the stats, taking people out of the facility for a ride is just too risky. How would they control the exposure that occurred. You take them for a ride, they get exposed, maybe by you and you bring them back so they can infect 10 people before anyone knows it has happened.
How many of the deaths were actually covid and not the underlying ailment? I question the numbers because of the financial incentives offered for caring for covid patients. Were they even tested?
Don't get me wrong, I think that all reasonable precautions should be taken but, the reality is that people are failing because of the isolation. Is letting our elders die alone and believing that they have been forgotten really the best solution we can find? Especially when caregivers are the ones bringing it in to the facilities.