My 67 year old husband was determined by his neuro last spring as being "borderline" for cognitive impairment of an unknown specific kind. His follow up is in a few weeks. Earlier this week I sent her a letter detailing his history, personality, recent losses and suspicious behaviors as I cannot say these things in front of my husband. In the letter, I asked her to please consider or rule out ADD, Depression and HF Autism when she meets with us next month. He already thinks I am "trying to have him committed" even though it was his PCP who first voiced concern and referred him to a neuro. Today, more than a few things sparked grave concern on my part concerning my husband's cognitive health, including when we stopped for lunch at a restaurant while doing errands and he forgot to turn the car off. We were heading into the restaurant when I heard a noise from the car...and it was the engine running!! Even before...and after...this incident, he seemed to have several "episodes" of cognitive problems that concerned me. It was like this happened overnight. He would have issues and episodes that concerned me in the past but usually not so many in one day. Can a change for the worse happen seemingly overnight?? I have decided that, if he has one more day like this, I will try to get him into the neuro asap, as she told me to do at the first appointment. Of course, he is in total denial. After the car incident he said, "I bet you think I am totally off my rocker now."
You are also at a point of heightened alert with your DH and will notice more odd behaviours.
I have two kids, a brother and a father with ADHD. The 'symptoms' of ADHD are not similar to dementia, and they present at a much younger age.
The incident with the car can not be explained by ADD, HF Autism etc. It is an activity he has done hundreds of times in his life and he forgot a basic step. It may be the first sign that driving may not be safe for him sooner than later.
Neither of my parents have dementia, but Dad definitely has some mental decline. A couple months ago, he could not figure out how to answer his cordless phone. A phone he has had for years. It was a one off, but those of the sorts of things I record.
Your husband is stressed out because he is exhibiting some kind of aging decline and he is worried that you are trying to have him committed and think he is off his rocker.
Men don't think like women and he is probably so stressed and worried that it is increasing the odd behaviors.
You really need to be open with him, he is probably concerned that you are going to split if there is something wrong and that creates more stress and worry, it is a vicious cycle.
I remember when I was twenty something and under a lot of stress, i didn't put my car in park but jerked the key out of the ignition, so that was a huge problem, quite a nightmare to get it fixed, but it was not a big deal because I was 20 something, it would be massive if I was 60 something and did the same stupid maneuver. Just something to think about.
If you are planning on sticking around regardless of the diagnosis, tell him. Let him know that you are here for the long haul, better or worse. Make light of the odd behaviors and see if that doesn't release some of his stress. We call it oldtymers and joke about how much trouble we are going to be in when we get older. My 1st memories of life are being told I would misplace my head if it wasn't attached and nothing much has changed for me. I am OCD about some things and others are absent minded actions that leave me scrambling to remember what I did. Tis' life.
Not surprising that he is in denial. Very common.
Might not be a bad idea to try to get in earlier with neuro. I guess you'll have your hands full until then. I guess just try to roll with the situation and don't get too upset about the odd things that he is doing. Wait and see what neuro determines.
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