In 2015 my mother (who is now 93) was put on three blood pressure meds: Atenolol, Losartan, and Amlodipine. (At least that is what the doctors told me they were.) I've watched a gradual decline in her short term memory. It reached the point where a few weeks ago, I could tell her a dozen times what day is (in quick succession), and she would not remember the day. Of late, she has also been sleeping an inordinate amount of time - like 20 hours a day. Her longer term memory was great, and showed no decline. I started asking her doctors if one of her meds could be causing that. They pooh poohed the idea.
Her primary care physician, diagnosed "early Alzheimer's." I suspected the atenolol, and learned online that it CAN cause memory issues. Her BP was already on the low side (105 /45), so I called her cardiologist's office. He was out. I asked the PA if I could stop the 50mG dose. She said I should first try cutting the dose in half. The results were impressive. MUCH improved memory, alertness, etc., and the BP was still quite low. So I waited a few days and then took the remaining 25 mg away from her. I was amazed. Excellent memory, alertness, etc. BP was 122/61 and heart rate 100 BPM. I was concerned to see that the heart rate went up 15 bpm, but my sister thought it was probably ok.
Thursday night my mother collapsed on the stairwell. I called 9/11 and they took her to the emergency room where they announced that my mother had had a heart attack. They said her heart had gone into arrhythmia -as high as 156 BPM and very erratic. They had to use the paddles on her twice to get her rhythm restored. She was transferred to a regional hospital in the hopes that they could install stents to open up her coronary arteries. But they determined that she has too much calcium buildup for stents and her kidney problems and age would make open heart surgery too dangerous. They now intend to release her to me, and use meds (including another beta blocker) to keep her going. The prognosis is not good. Word is she has about a 50% chance of living another six months.
Did I cause the arrhythmia and heart attack by pulling her off the Atenolol? If they had told me it was necessary for her heart rhythm, I would never have done it.
You are also giving yourself way more credit than is reasonable for powers you don't have. Did you kill your mother? Certainly not! You simply didn't have the power of life and death over her. You did your best to give your mother quality life toward the end. That was the best you could do.
You deserve to happy memories of your mother in the forefront. It is still very early in your mourning. If this worry about the cause of her death stays with you and interferes with the normal mourning process, consider getting some counseling.
People find so many things to blame themselves for about death. Some people really suffer because 'I'd just gone out of the room, I wasn't there when she passed'. There are many worse ways to go than you are describing, and many lives cut much shorter. Look after yourself - that's what your much loved mother would want for you,
mother.
That said, it is important to work with the health care team. It is not optimal to titrate or discontinue any prescribed medication without discussion with the PCP or cardiologist. There are many medications that need to be weaned down gradually in the dose before discontinuing them. Beta blockers are one of those.
“If they had told me it was necessary for her heart rhythm, I would never have done it.”
^^^”They” never assumed you would take it upon yourself to change or withhold the Med.
At 93 yrs old, God Bless your mom for living a full life & you for taking care of her.
But...as a RN I feel it needs to be said that before changing or holding a dose of prescribed medication a discussion with the person’s physician is in order.
It can treat high blood pressure and chest pain (angina). It can also reduce the risk of death after a heart attack.
Your Mom was 93. I feel her symptoms were from heart failure. Her memory problems could be caused by not enough blood and oxygen going to the brain. Blood pressure meds had nothing to do with it.
I know this is hard. But, you did everything right. Don't blame yourself.