Routine dental appointments are becoming a nightmare for my elderly FIL. The office isn't wheelchair accessible and is risky for us to get him in a chair. The exams themselves exhaust him. Plus his dementia is just bad enough that he can't manage any kind of post dental care, and parkinson's is affecting his ability to swallow. Does anyone have suggestions?
No matter how you cut it, he is at the final term of his life, why upset him? Let him be.
My mother is 98, losing some teeth, she has most of her mindset, she is not interested in doing anything. She says "I don't need a full set of teeth when I die". I agree!
I think it's hard for people to stop taking parents for things like eye doctor appointments or dentist visits when they have dementia or a terminal illness because it can feel like they are giving up on them.
But I like to think of it as not giving up but accepting where they are at in their disease and pivoting accordingly.
I tried to suggest to my parents that at 80 maybe dad didn't need to do the routine colonoscopy anymore. They were appalled at not doing preventative tests so I backed off because they are still in good health and active.
Yet both agree they probably wouldn't do chemo if they had colon cancer. I did get them to agree that if mom or dad had dementia they wouldnt be taking each other for a colonoscopy.
Hospice care is likely eminent soon, he has had three extended hospitalizations in less than a year and we just want his last time to be as calm as possible for him
Since he’s 94 yrs old, unless he’s in pain, I wouldn’t put him through the stress of a dental visit.
Recently he referred her for an extraction. Same issue as you at the dental surgeon's office: it was if they'd never encountered an elderly person before (which is so confusing, because I would assume that older people often need extractions?).
Anyway, the prep for the extraction made her very dizzy and she fell, ended up in the hospital for a night, and never fully recovered from that episode (and never had the extraction).
Now I cook everything until it is mushy and that seems to be okay (for now).
For your FIL, I would not worry. Get those sponges on a stick with toothpaste in them. At least he will get brushed.
https://www.amazon.com/ZIZNBA-Disposable-Unflavored-Sponge-Swabs%EF%BC%8CTooth/dp/B077W223MF/ref=asc_df_B077W223MF/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=241948599983&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11867037612623266493&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9003829&hvtargid=pla-406776595429&psc=1
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